Do your family take it in turns to pump on the Christmas tree?

[OverTheHammer]

DSs friend has just asked me this. He said at Christmas, whilst putting the tree up the whole family take it in turns to pump on it. He then asked, dead seriously "do your family do the same thing?". DS looked at me as though we'd been missing an essential part of Christmas all these years.

AIBU to think this is beyond weird to say to your mates mum??!

I can't read past the first few posts as I can't hold my laughter in so I don't wake DD up/piss myself. Definitely a new tradition!

We don't pump on it but we do have a particularly ridiculous spring loaded Xmas tree stand & the Xmas tree erection often involves the follwing kind of dialogue:

"Is it in yet"
"No its too big - you're gonna have to shave it down a bit"
.... "OK is it in yet"
"Yes - give it a big shove"
"I'm thrusting"
"Its almost there - keep it going"
"Nope - its out again"

etc - you get the picture

I reckon this all started as an argument after a mum accidentally farted on the tree, the christmas dinner burned, and she blamed her DP for ruining christmas by not farting on it too And so the legend begun...

We never have but we will be this year. Sounds like a hoot.

Absolutely CRYING This thread is incredible, please do investigate and update us Op

Before opening a trending thread, I try to guess what the subject will be. "Do your family take it in turns to..."
load the dishwasher?
walk the dog?
I wouldn't have guessed this one in a month of Sundays.

Is it just me that thinks it's really sad? No

The people who aren't finding this funny are somehow making me laugh even more.

Hahaha me too

Sat on a train still cracking up at this.

The bits that keep getting me are the word "pump" & the comments from people that don't find this funny

I've told DS that he's to bring friend around again tonight so I can interrogate further.

What I really need to know is, what happens to the poor sod that can't produce? I can't bear the thought of poor old grandma being left out of the celebrations because she used up all her pumps over dinner and now has none left for the tree 😩

Yuck

The people who aren't finding this funny are somehow making me laugh even more

This. You can hear the sound of pearls being clutched and judgy pants being hoiked from miles around

pearls being clutched and judgy pants being hoiked They certainly are in this house. The thread has made me feel a bit sick.

It's funny how people are getting the hump about this thread!

This is the funniest thing I have seen for ages and I can't stop laughing. WHAT IS THIS INSANITY? I have SO many questions that need answering. In fact I won't rest until I've watched an hour-long BBC4 documentary that analyses this whole bizarre ritual in detail and features eminent anthropologista explaining why pumping on the Christmas tree has become one family's arcane festive ceremony.

Also laughing at people who have dropped by just to say they don't find it funny, who are the MN equivalent of the teacher who pulls a cat's bum face and tells the classes they're disgusting and childish because they giggle harmlessly at cock and balls someone's drawn on the blackboard.

The thing is, I don't even usually find gross fart humour that funny and hate people who make a massive deal out of their own 'pumps' and what-have-you, but how could anyone be miserable about this thread? It's hilarious and also has a genuine innocence about it which is making it even funnier. I'm properly trying to suppress full-on eye-watering laughter on the bus!

I would definitely watch that documentary Dolly.

OP, please get DS's friend back round this evening and get him to do a live Q&A with us!

I woke up with really puffy eyes this morning because I was reading this thread late before I went to sleep and I was crying with laughter for a full 45 minutes.

I was wondering how the Xmas tree stayed up when you pumped on it. Because pumping means shagging in the West of Scotland.

Brilliant!

Hoping the lad comes round again tonight to answer all questions

Don't know how it would work in my family,my crazy nana has always been adamant that she's NEVER been able to pump but then again this is coming from a woman who claimed she once had a one eared, three legged, blind rabbit that barked

I can imagine a hundred years fom now families all over the world farting on Christmas trees all because of MN.
I will absolutely be farting on the tree this year.

I'm picturing the family members lining up in order of age (oldest first), then cocking a leg, nudging a buttock, and letting rip.

I'm in the wrst if Scotland, where pumping us either farting or having sex. We do neither on the Christmas tree. 😂