Do your family take it in turns to pump on the Christmas tree?

[OverTheHammer]

DSs friend has just asked me this. He said at Christmas, whilst putting the tree up the whole family take it in turns to pump on it. He then asked, dead seriously "do your family do the same thing?". DS looked at me as though we'd been missing an essential part of Christmas all these years.

AIBU to think this is beyond weird to say to your mates mum??!

I can indeed produce wind at will and now at last I've realised my true vocation in life. I'm officially available for hire as a stand-in. £50 a go seem reasonable?

We don't, but I feel we might this year.

They put their tree up and then take it in turns to fart on it?

I thought I'd already been on the weirdest thread on MN today, but apparently not.

You can just imagine the conversation once the last decoration has been hung. "And whose turn is it to fart first this year? That's right X, it's yours, take aim now."

Ah, this has got me feeling all Christmassy, in a new and strange way!

Oh please troll him back at Christmas!! Maybe some loo roll for when they put the tree up tucked inside a Christmas card

Have only skim read but how did this come up in conversation? It's August FFS.

Bit early for the kid to be getting excited about Christmas isn't it? Or have the sprouts just gone on in his house to ensure maximum overcooked mushy pump inducing properties?

😂😂

This kid has won so much money off his mates.

Oh no, now I know what's missing from dressing the Christmas tree

We do this. We invite the neighbours round on the third Thursday of Advent to do it with us. It's a lovely tradition, we generally serve peas and chutney. And our home brewed rhubarb brandy with advocaat.

Not really, I'm lying.

Brilliant. 😂 I hope this kids family really does this. How does a tradition like that even start? Amazing.

I first thought this was some kind of inflatable Xmas tree that needed pumping up....but noooo! It's farting.

So where do they fart? At the foot of the tree or do they climb a ladder to fart on the angel on top . Do they all wait for the GPs and aunts/uncles and counsins to arrive on Xmas day to take their turn too? I'd hate to have Xmas dinner at their house, what a stench!

"Rockin around the Christmas tree
At the Christmas party pump
Toilet roll hung where you can see
Every couple tries to trump

Rockin around the Christmas tree
Let the Christmas farting ring
Later we'll have some cabbage soup
And we'll do Dutch ovenning

You will get a perianal feeling
When you hear
Voices singing loose your belly
Deck the halls with bowels so smelly"

I'm sorry. Mum says it's bedtime now.

😂😂😂

is it some weird homage to Roland the Farter ?

Also bumbulum is apparently Latin for 'Fart'. It is my new word

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I think that someone in the family just happened to pump by the tree and rather than admit it was an accident they said it was a tradition.
That was hundreds of years ago and it's been passed on from generation to generation until today . . . Here you are telling us on mumsnet.

Better than taking turns to hump on the Christmas tree, i suppose.

This has got to be the funniest thread I've read in ages! Actually in a fit of giggles then I calmed down and read another post and I'm off again! 😂😂

My face is wet with tears of laughter.

This is absolutely brilliant.

It took me 4 attempts to tell DH what I was laughing about because I couldn't get my words out.

I like it SauceJack.

This has got to make it onto mumsnet classics!

Better than the elf on the shelf I suppose. I hadn't heard of pumping either and thought they were dry humping the poor tree. Farting on it is really not so bad.

Maybe it was a tradition started by a naughty elf?