Do your family take it in turns to pump on the Christmas tree?

[OverTheHammer]

DSs friend has just asked me this. He said at Christmas, whilst putting the tree up the whole family take it in turns to pump on it. He then asked, dead seriously "do your family do the same thing?". DS looked at me as though we'd been missing an essential part of Christmas all these years.

AIBU to think this is beyond weird to say to your mates mum??!

How old is he?
Tbh when you said pump I was expecting worse, farting on the Christmas tree is vair strange though.

Who the fuck calls a fart a pump? Are you 5?

Fucking pump.

You could put a carol on and pump along in time

It's what Jesus would have wanted.

Although I'm laughing at this, I'm finding the image of farting at a Christmas tree genuinely sad.

This is weird.

Pump is what we say in the NE , everyone says it . I also say fart so it's not for any twee reason.

Well, I suppose it makes a change from asking family members to admire your Christmas tree.

You could put a carol on and pump along in time

Bagsy '5 gold rings...'

I wouldn't be able to look his parents in the face without laughing!

You never know, he might tell his parents you've never done it and they may invite you round to experience it with them?!

I'm HOWLING at this.

Bloody hell, I thought my family were weird*, but this is next-level stuff.

*My dad's favourite Christmas tradition when were kids was going off after dinner to check Ceefax to see if anyone famous had inconsiderately died on Christmas Day. His best one was Dean Martin in 1995. These days he checks the BBC website on his iPad instead.

Hideous

They sound a laugh a minute

And 'pump'? Idiots.

Yes I'm in north east and it's pump! Plus I was relaying what the kid had said to me!

I'm confused. Do they each pump on the tree once when it's first erected or do they have to aim all their farts at the tree for the duration of the whole festive season?

You could put a carol on and pump along in time

Little drummer boy? Pa rumpa pump pump!!

OMG I am crying here. If he's 14 I bet he's winding you up, but I don't care, this has made my evening.

Are they Spanish Catalan by any chance? They have a tradition of a Christmas poop, a Tió de Nadal!
These little Gems can be found all over Barcelona

Maybe we could start a tradition of doing the pumping after Christmas, all the sprouts and stuffing consumed build some heavy gusts. If we could get enough power going and blow it out the window it would save me taking it out to the bins?

We used to have this tradition until one year Granny followed through after the Boxing night curry. The curtains were never the same again.

I didn't ask for the details 😂 The way i understood it they erect the tree and then each take a turn to pump on it (or at its general direction I assume, unless it's a really small tree).

"You could put a carol on and pump along in time"

Hark! The Hairy Anus Sings?

This has tickled me. I'm in bed, alone, giggling away at this thread.

I've got enough trouble keeping the needles on the fucking thing as it is.