To ask if I have left it all too late?

[youcan]

Aged 37, for marriage and children?

Be honest!

Op, you asked us all a question and got alot of positive responses, but you seem really hell bent on being negative, despite being given practical advice. Is something else going on here?

Not too late, but get a move on. You won't be able to be too picky on the man, and you'll need to bang out the kids in quick succession.
You nees to be pregnant before 40 so dont hang around. Settle on a partner who is kind. Thats enough. A lot of the top tier are married off. Compromise and you'll get your marriage and children.

I really believe you haven't left it all to late, but I do think you should crack on, especially if you're wanting marriage & babies in that order; loads of women are having babies well into their 40s nowadays. Or you could have the baby sooner and get married later. Or there's the possibility of having a baby without a partner, if that's something you'd consider
I didn't meet by now hubby until I was 37, by which time I'd already been sterilised as I didn't want kids. It's certainly never too late to get married.

If your current setup and lifestyle doesn't allow for a child, then maybe you can start by doing something about that as a first step, otherwise you're expecting an awful lot from this man.

My best friend met her partner when she was 37. Within two years they had three children (singleton plus twins) and are still blissfully happily together now, 20 years later.

If women from other cultures can do it without money, support or job then why can't you?

Like I said, women around the world do it on a lot less. And in the UK. It's totally doable in the UK. You just gotta want it.

You're after a fairy tale that doesn't exist for most of us.

It sounds like you want to do it the traditional way which is understandable. You say you don't get many opportunities to meet people so have you considered dating websites? i have 2 good couple friends who met online and are now married.

We have no way of knowing if you have left it too late you would need a fertility test to determine this and honestly you have no way of knowing until you start trying. 37 isn't too late to have children in theory but you know the older you get the harder it will be. It certainly isn't too late to meet a decent man but obvioulsy you're less likely to meet him in a nightclub or bar that you were 10/15 years ago hence dating website suggestion.

Also as priority focus on getting a job if you have lost yours (which is implied) you sound like you have had some kind of knock to your confidence and this will affect your relationship choices. A new job might do you the world of good and make you feel far more positive about things ( its also an opportunity to meet new people)

@lynmilne65 - precious first born x

Have you asked your friends if they know anyone that they could set you up with? That way, it's a bit like blind/online dating but they're already semi-screened. Lots of people know good matches for single friends but don't like to offer incase they cause offence. And perhaps try to go somewhere new, or do something different? If I were you, I'd focus on getting out there and meeting people - then if you find someone and a baby comes along that's amazing. But as you've said yourself, it'll be harder to meet someone and start a relationship if you are a single parent. Start looking at this one thing (meeting nice people) first.

No. Not too late.

It might be too late; it might not. There are lots of nice stories you hear of women that have babies aged 40+, but there are plenty of women that find out that they're infertile at a similar age that you won't hear about because it tends to be kept private.

I think what you need at this stage is some counselling to sort out your options.

It's not too late provided you meet someone soon but much longer and you'll be pushing it! If you're shy and not willing to get out there and date, how are you going to meet someone? Mr right might not fall into your lap the first time out, so the sooner you get yourself out there and start looking the better. Even if you did meet someone it might take you 2 years to decide he's the right one and get married, or longer. You then might have trouble conceiving. So yeah, its not too late now but if you're not doing anything proactive then time is going to slip away from you.

Settle on a partner who is kind. Thats enough. A lot of the top tier are married off. Compromise and you'll get your marriage and children

Settling will end up with you being in an unfulfilling relationship with someone that you're not in love with.

A lot of the top tier are married off

What a load of old fashioned nonsense. All sorts of people are single in their late 30s/early 40s. Some are fantastic. Some are not

To meet a partner- definitely not too late!

Children- impossible to say. Everyone's fertility is different. Yes some people can have babies into their forties. Others can't, and you don't know until you try which one you are, so tbh there's no point in being reassured by the stories of people who had babies age 45; or scared by stories of people who couldn't hand babies age 30. Everyone's situation is unique.

You could try fertility testing- it might tell you at least how much time u have left?

I didn't mean to ollie I just wanted to make it clear that having a baby as a single woman is not what I want and not what is conducive for a child.

Sonic I am trying but life as a single woman is expensive. Or single man for that matter.

My mortgage is £1000 a month. Split between two people and that's far more manageable than it is for me. That's just one example.

I don't want counselling but thanks

I'm 37 with a four month old. Was fine.

I know you dont mean to op, maybe its just your posting style, but you do seem very down despite all the positives on this thread.

If you're not into online dating do you have a means to keet someone in the physical world, do you have friends you can go out with?

I'll have another crack at online dating. I find it quite depressing!

I agree with ollieplimsoles you sound very down and are finding negatives in all our advice. Are you depressed? Has there beena recent change on cicumstances which has prompted you to turn to AIBU?

We don't know the ins and outs of your circumstances but I think unless you are doing something proactive to change them you can't expect "Mr Right" to just turn up out of the blue and solve all your problems.

I am not trying to be harsh but I just don't really understand what advice you are looking for.

I wasn't looking for advice?

OK my answer is I don't know if you have left it too late because I don't know you or your circumstances or how fertile you are or what kind if men you meet. Genuinely hope it all works out for you though.

I met my husband when I was 37 (nearly 38) and we married two months later. I had our first child at 38 (nearly 39) and our second child at 40 (nearly 41).

If your current setup and lifestyle doesn't allow for a child, then maybe you can start by doing something about that as a first step, otherwise you're expecting an awful lot from this man.

^^This

If you're looking for a partner in life, you need to bring something to the table too. Focus on sorting out your own work life/financial situation first. No one should expect to improve their financial stability by meeting a partner imho.

In terms of age, no, not too late, hopefully, though no one can possibly tell you that. I'm sorry you're so unhappy.