To ask if I have left it all too late?

[youcan]

Aged 37, for marriage and children?

Be honest!

Sil had first at 39 and second at 42. Not too late.

Met DH through an internet dating site in May 2014; he moved I with me that August. Got married September 2015. Going to Cyprus at end of October this year for IVF as not fallen pregnant naturally despite trying for almost 3 years.

Oh and, in December this year, I'll be 46!!

Why don't you get on with the family bit on your own? That way the people you date won't feel under pressure to get on with having a family.

If your priority is to find a partner over having children then that won't be a good choice for you. But if your priority is to have children I would just get on with it. Don't waste time because I don't believe in Mr Rights or fate or destiny. Plus you won't be that thirty something at parties that is frantically looking for a mate. You can just be cool independent you.

There are lots of sperm donors online to choose from and they are not expensive.

Yes I think you may have. If you've not got a partner and you want a family then there's a bit of work ahead of you.

That's not to say it won't happen. But realistically I think you have.

PFB ??

Of course not. Only met my now OH at 34, married at 37 and baby at 39

What do you mean lynn?

Thanks; I did ask for honesty!

I'm really not in a position to have a child alone. Realistically I would be bringing them into chaotic circumstances. It isn't fair.

Ok, so you seem to have a single ideal of a partner and then try for a child. What are you actively doing to make this a reality?
I am afraid without quite a clear plan, real focus on making it happen and being prepared to invest a lot of time, then yes, you might have left out too late.

And I speak as someone who has been single for 14 years. The kind of man I think you would want don't just materialise from thin air, they have to be activity looked for. And now I'm sure there will be a succession of posts saying that that is how they met their partner!

Esme I do know that!

So you think I have left it too late - that's fine. Mostly I do feel it is pretty hopeless tbh.

My wee mil married at 35 and went on to have a long, happy marriage and TEN children.

You haven't left it too late. I got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby at 38 after 3 rounds of IVF. My partner and I had never been pregnant before. He is 9 years older than me. We had been trying for 2 years naturally. We had unexplained infertility.

If you're lucky enough to get pregnant straight away that's great. My friend managed it for the first time at 42 though her boyfriend was 25...

But if you have to go down the IVF route, know that it is potentially a lengthy process.

What about freezing your eggs now?

In all honesty I am not convinced it works!

You seem to have decided that you have left it too late, so perhaps it doesn't matter what we all think. If you are set on the idea of getting married then having children, then you need to be proactive about it.

But please, don't infer that a single parent and a baby is not a family, that's really insulting.

I think you're going to have to focus on baby first and then relationship later.

The window is narrowing on your fertility so my honest opinion is that you'd be mad to make marriage a deal breaker at this point. If you definitely want a baby, then get pregnant. Friend, willing male=co parent? Sperm clinic. Worry about a relationship later. That can be sorted out 'later'.

Whirlwinds can happen. One woman, 39, met a new customer at her work who kept coming back and asked her out... engaged married & pregnant within a year, still together nearly 30 years on.

Another, 30, had never had any kind of relationship and had given up all hope then went to a friend's wedding solo and fell for the man seated next to her. They didn't move quite as quickly but still were married within 3 years and baby a couple of years later.

But I've no idea of what the odds would be of this happening to any random individual. I suppose the only advice here is the same as for any would-be-dater: never turn down an invitation, try anything/anywhere new that you get the chance, tell friends to introduce you to anyone single and possibly suitable.

Ds1 aged 30 met his wife aged 41, they married within a year. A family was not realistically on the agenda but after a pregnancy with a tragic ending, they decided it was.
This week, hopefully they will get the final go ahead on adoption. They will have their family.

Op you never know what life is going to chuck at you, you may get everything your heart desires sooner or later, just enjoy life for the moment.

Don't listen to those who waffle about older ladies in pregnancy as mine were fine

Of course, don't listen to scientific fact because one random on line says she personally was fine!

Peachy apologies if I did phrase it badly.

But I have explained a few times my life as it is, is just not equipped for a child. It wouldn't be right.

def not too late; met and married my dh at 38- got pregnant on my honeymoon and had a healthy dd ; got pregnant again when she was 1yr old and had ds, also hale and healthy

both brilliant pregnancies- no morning sickness

I think if the only definition of a family that will satisfy you is to have a biological child with a partner, you are more likely to be disappointed. If you work on opening up that definition to include step-children, adopted children, being a single parent etc etc you're much more likely to get the family you crave.

Met DH at 35, DS1 @ 37, DS2 @ 38 and married about 4 months before my 40th. Was getting to the stage where I was thinking never going to happen...and then, one day, it did. And I'm so glad it happened this way!

you can have and can be a family without a partner. i was prepared to go down that route after partner changed his mind and procrastinated for years. he quickly changed it back when he knew how much i wanted a child and when i told him i would do it with or without him.

don't wait for no man! but bonus if he comes along.

Not at all. Met DH at 38, now 5 years later we're married with a house, DS and TTC no2

I think if you're looking for the classic meet, a year later then get engaged, then married, then baby type of scenario then time is getting tight. If I were you I'd start looking in to sperm donation at the same time as making a real effort to get out there dating wise. If the dating doesn't work out you'll still have the potential to be a parent.