To be scared of the man in the woods

[Catonsie]

I've recently discovered a really scenic run through some woodland beside the local river, and it's become my favorite run. Until this week.

I was rounding the corner into a long straight which is overhung by large trees (so less light) when I heard the noise like snapping sticks ahead - like someone walking over lots of dry wood, only the path is quite clear. I saw the dog first and somehow thought it might be chewing a plastic water bottle in its mouth (similar noise) but it didn't.

Then I saw the man. Big fella wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled low. He was walking looking at the ground so I couldn't see his face at all. As I ran towards him I looked down to see what he was walking on. That's when I saw his feet.

He was wearing one black shoe, one white shoe.

At that point I felt like I was in an episode of Release the Hounds. The noise, the hidden face, the odd shoes, dimly lit woods....

The whole thing was unnerving and I felt really on edge as I sprinted past him. Must have done a record run.

Thinking about it after I think he may be the man that lives in a van in the corner of the car park near where I live (he's tall, same colour dog). If it was him (will check out his footwear if I see him) AIBU to tell him that next time he goes walking in the woods & passes a lone woman to take his hood off (and ask wtf the noise was)? Or am I just too easily scared? And should I buy him a new pair of shoes -because odd shoes makes me think of clowns and I'm scared of clowns- ?

Stupidly it's put me off that run.

I'm not sure if YABU or YANBU, but this would make a great opening for a novel or short story!

Wearing different coloured shoes is the height of hipness at the minute where I am. I also saw a lot of mismatched trainers on people much younger than I when I was on holiday last month. He's probably just out walking his dog with his hood up, maybe he was looking down at his feet because he heard the same noise you did? He is either a hipster or has grabbed different shoes without realising - they're the two most likely explanations. But if it's given you the heebie jeebies, I can understand being put off running there again.

I think you know yabu!

If it feels uncomfortable, don't do that run.

I once took a small child down to the local river at a time when there was no-one else around. It is quite an isolated spot. We walked down the side of the water to a shingle beach where we skimmed stones for a while. The only route out was along the narrow treelined path we came on and I could see from the beach that there was a rather odd looking man on his own standing on this path facing the trees alongside the path. First of all I thought he might be having a pee. But he just stayed there staring into the undergrowth. This went on for about half an hour and I did not know what to do. In the end I decided we just had to go, so I walked along the path and straight past him, saying nothing. He did not move a muscle. I was very glad to get to the safety of the car!

Yabu to tell him he shouldn't wear a hoodie up and foist shoes on him because his current ones scare you.

You want to buy him shoes and dictate how he dresses? Are you kidding?

YABU to tell him what to do.

If you're uncomfortable running there, run somewhere else. It's your problem not his.

Madness

For those saying I'm dictating dress code, I don't think you realise how intimidating it was to be alone passing a big man who concealed his face and did not look up as I approached. I was actually scared. It all felt wrong.

Extra you made me snort my tea

If you were scared, trust your gut and stay away from him. Don't bloody approach him and lecture him on his clothing.

Run somewhere else then. You can't tell anyone not to have their hood up!

So you want to tell a homeless person they shouldn't keep their hood up and wear odd shoes?

Have I got this right?

lol sounds like a tester for a story idea'

While I can't say he's done anything wrong here, I would take a different route if this makes you uneasy, which it clearly does.

Extra you made me snort my tea

me too!

OP this would definitely make me uneasy too. I don't think I would have the nerve to say anything though I just wouldn't do that run again.

If t s scares you run elsewhere. The dude was walking his dog, he didn't even look at you. He can wear his hood if he wants. You on the other hand don't get to dictate dress codes for people who pass you on your run,

You sound a bit deranged actually. How can you not know it's not acceptable bevahiour to do what you're suggesting? Yet you think HE is the scarey one?

He was in a lose-lose situation really, wasn't he? If he had made eye contact and stared at you, you would probably have felt just as intimidated.

He's homeless then if he's living in a van presumably? he's may have some mental health issues or similar so is wearing the hoody up and not looking up as he wants to avoid contact with other people, he might of had a migraine and wanted to shade his eyes who knows, my dh with anxiety and autism does this on particularly bad days, to block out the world and avoid conversations with people.
Yes it can be scary bumping into people in the woods, but going and finding a man you've never talked to before, who was keeping himself to himself to talk to him about his clothing options seems wrong.

If your're scared run in a different time/place.

The last thing you should do if your actually scared of him, is go knock on his van "excuse me here's a pair of shoes as your current one reminds me of clowns, please don't wear odd ones anymore and you need to wear you're hoodie down as it's intimidating" that's not going to go down well.

It's not clear to me if you actually know him? But if you do I don't actually think it's unreasonable to tell him that keeping his face covered whilst walking in the woods is intimidating.

This thread will go like the "men, do you cross the road when walking near lone women". Half will vehemently get it, half vehemently won't.

For those saying I'm dictating dress code, I don't think you realise how intimidating it was to be alone passing a big man who concealed his face and did not look up as I approached. I was actually scared. It all felt wrong.

Why? Part of my DCs school run involves walking through woods when I can do it. I have walked past a number of people who have never ever frightened me at various times of the day and in various stated of clothing.

The only time I proper shit my pants was when a couple of twats on motorbikes thought the footpath was a dirt track and came straight at us, us being me and another school mum friend and our children. Now THAT was bloody scary.