To be scared of the man in the woods

[Catonsie]

I've recently discovered a really scenic run through some woodland beside the local river, and it's become my favorite run. Until this week.

I was rounding the corner into a long straight which is overhung by large trees (so less light) when I heard the noise like snapping sticks ahead - like someone walking over lots of dry wood, only the path is quite clear. I saw the dog first and somehow thought it might be chewing a plastic water bottle in its mouth (similar noise) but it didn't.

Then I saw the man. Big fella wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled low. He was walking looking at the ground so I couldn't see his face at all. As I ran towards him I looked down to see what he was walking on. That's when I saw his feet.

He was wearing one black shoe, one white shoe.

At that point I felt like I was in an episode of Release the Hounds. The noise, the hidden face, the odd shoes, dimly lit woods....

The whole thing was unnerving and I felt really on edge as I sprinted past him. Must have done a record run.

Thinking about it after I think he may be the man that lives in a van in the corner of the car park near where I live (he's tall, same colour dog). If it was him (will check out his footwear if I see him) AIBU to tell him that next time he goes walking in the woods & passes a lone woman to take his hood off (and ask wtf the noise was)? Or am I just too easily scared? And should I buy him a new pair of shoes -because odd shoes makes me think of clowns and I'm scared of clowns- ?

Stupidly it's put me off that run.

Yabu and slightly crazy...although your op scared me. I'm conflicted.

Mumsnet at its most bonkers.

Of course you shouldn't give him matching shoes or tell him not to walk around with his hood down. Surely you must realise that you are totally overreacting?

IF his hood was up could he have had earphones in and just not been that bothered about someone jogging past him?

FYI I will often have my hood up when I have to walk that route as part of it involves walking through a shitty estate first. I also wear crap shoes befsusr well I'm walking through fields and crap and I'd rather use my trusty old battered ones to do so in. Am I okay? Or is it only not okay when I start wearing odd shoes I'll come across as scary? It's just I sometimes look like a man if I've gone a week or two without shaving so I need to be clear

YANBU

I would have been scared too! This is why I rarely walk in the countryside alone (or walk anywhere alone other than busy town centres or parks!) I feel too vulnerable.

His behaviour and style of dress didn't fit the stereotypical dog walker. We naturally notice things that don't 'fit' in our environment, it's a survival instinct. He could have been a harmless man who likes alternative fashion and making crackly noises. But I wouldn't run there again!

Or is it only not okay when I start wearing odd shoes I'll come across as scary?
Ancient proverb says "if your shoes are odd, you shall not plod"
Good to go if shoes are the same

Yes, yabu.
This guy didn't come up behind you, didn't approach yet you still want him to change because you're scared.
Are you an anxious person in general?

His behaviour and style of dress didn't fit the stereotypical dog walker.
Wth is the stereotypical dog walker then?
I guess i wouldnt fit in at all when i walk my relatives dog as im alternative and only certain stule of people can be dog walkers

If the poor fucker's living in his van, perhaps he's not exactly spoiled for choice when it comes to shoes?

Equally, he might not have been able to wash his hair/shave - hence keeping his hood up.

Either way, this is the OP's problem.

I don't know why her first thought isn't to learn to deal with it, instead of making it his problem.

Don't let anyone talk you out of trusting your instincts. This has nothing to do with what the guy was wearing, it's how he was behaving and the feeling you had. If something feels wrong it's usually because it is. We, especially women, have been so conditioned to ignore our gut feelings, and that will get you into trouble. You don't have to justify to anyone as to why this guy made you unsettled.

Maybe the guys hood was up and he didn't look up because he didn't feel like being sociable ?

You don't have to justify to anyone as to why this guy made you unsettled

She's not.

She's asking if she should dictate to an apparently homeless stranger, how he should dress when he walks his dog.

Clearly a man walking on his own (with a dog) is unacceptably threatening.

Obviously wearing odd shoes means he's a total psycho (let's not mention the fact that I always wear odd socks as I CBA to look for matching ones).

Naturally, not making eye contact means he's a potential murderer.

Having his hood up is definitely indicative of shady intentions.

FFS OP. Do you think this of everyone who dares to share your space?

I've asked for this thread to be deleted as I've obviously written it badly.
I was scared.
Maybe that was wrong, but it was very real to me.
I don't normally feel like that about men, hoodies, what people wear or whatever. This was different.
I really want this thread deleted now because I feel so embarrassed.

yab totally u

Didn't fit the stereotypical dog walker
What the fuck? Sometimes I wear joggers, sometimes I wear jeans, sometimes even a dress... which one is acceptable?

If you don't like how he dresses or how he acts go bloody running another way! Just because he had a hood up in the woods, doesn't mean he's going to kill you or do anything wrong. Please don't tell him to get matching shoes or dress differently, you'll be the one who seems odd.

This tread has made me laugh. Bloody fucking hell.

His behaviour and style of dress didn't fit the stereotypical dog walker.

What on earth does a stereotypical dogwalker look like?

You are aware its not just dogwalkers that use these outdoor spaces aren't you? The one we use to get to school is used by others to get to work and the train station or the secondary school kids to get to the big comp! Only way I've been able to differentiate between dog walker and worker / school pupil is if the former has a dog with them!

There's nothing wrong with feeling scared, OP. It's a natural emotion.

It's the thought of approaching a homeless person and telling them not walk with their hood up, or wear odd shoes that makes you unreasonable.

That's okay then ExtraGum my socks are usually odd but not my shoes so guess I'm only half scary. To be honest, that's a fair assessment at 8am most mornings!

Maybe his hood was up because his head was cold?

It would have been more scary if he had looked up and smiled - you'd have freaked!

This has nothing to do with what the guy was wearing, it's how he was behaving and the feeling you had.

By going for a walk, keeping his head down and minding his own business? Yeah he sounds a right shady fucker.