New partner's holiday

[lunaysol3828]

So... new partner. Roughly a month together now. He had this holiday booked with friends before he met me so he obviously went.

When at home we chat a lot, texts, facebook, whatever, and we obviously see eachother a lot.

If you were me, how often would you expect to be contacted while he's on holiday?

I'd actually be really concerned that someone offered to cancel a mates holiday for a boyfriend/girlfriend of one month.

That is both creepy and really disengenous to their friends.

I'd actually be really concerned that someone offered to cancel a mates holiday for a boyfriend/girlfriend of one month.

I missed that, he sounds like a wet blanket TBH.

I'm pretty surprised at all these people saying they wouldn't expect any contact! If it's clear that it's a proper relationship rather than a casual fling, then I'd hope for a few quick calls / texts while he was away.

Partly on the basis that I'd hope he's want to speak to me rather than anything else.

luna I hope I wasn't too blunt (my own soft spot!)

You sound very nice and like you're at the start of something potentially quite special.

Don't look for trouble where there is none. Trust takes time to build but he hasn't given you reason to mistrust him.

My DH and I have been together a very long time and have a very strong relationship. Part of that strength is being strong as individuals as well as together.

He is my world and I adore him but we both happily travel for work, have separate holidays and go away with our own friends.

Your life shouldn't stop just because your lovely man is off somewhere else for a bit.

Go find something fun to keep you busy and happy!

19Lottie82 I totally agree!

Just asked DH and he said a month into our relationship he'd have cancelled the holiday, preferring to be with me or at least contacted me every day.

Hes a keeper!

(Light-hearted) Or a politician, easy to say now when he doesn't have to put his money where his mouth is.

He's busy with his friends. I'd probably expect a text or two most days, but different people have different attitudes to communication, especially on holiday.

I'd probably think a 'hey I've landed, all good' etc text, and maybe a pissed up on the way home from the pub phone call if it won't cost the earth, would be nice, but wouldn't be worried if I got neither.
You're fabulous OP, don't let insecurities mess with your brain. Go look for activities for your holiday in Sept unless you plan to spend the whole time in bed with your new beau

A week? Nothing other than a message to say they have arrived safely at most; that's what I get when my adult DCs are away if it's convenient.

It would really put me off if someone said that they would cancel their holiday to be with me after a month. But I do like a lot of breathing room to do my own thing.

I think a couple of times would be about right for a week´s holiday. I would be disappointed with nothing. But it sounds like he has texted you a few times, so you know he is thinking about you?

Idk I feel like in the first month you should be excited and interested in each other and because you're "official" now no more playing games or playing it cool etc. I'd speak to my DP everyday when we were apart in the early stages of our relationship.

I think the slightly aggressive responses might have come from the use of that passive aggressive smiley at the end!

maybe once or twice, why not message him saying hope you enjoy yourself, cant wait to hear about the things you have been up too when you get home. hope the weathers great or something along they lines, but dont be disappointed if you dont get a reply, i normally leave phone switched off unless there is wifi as costs a fortune if your abroad. i normally call my mum and dad let them know we have landed then call once after that

Gosh if I was only seeing someone for a month I wouldn't even call him my boyfriend, much less a partner. And if he offered to cancel a holiday with his friends to spend the time with me instead I'd run a mile. Too much, too soon in the former instance and too clingy in the latter, IMO

One text each evening just saying "I hope you're having a lovely day" wouldn't go amiss.

I went on holiday with a Friend when me and dh had only been together a few weeks we texted each other constantly he proposed a week or so after we got back everyone said it wouldn't last but it's out 12th wedding anniversary today☺

A text once or twice would be lovely I think. But I wouldn't 'expect' a text.

I'd actually be really concerned that someone offered to cancel a mates holiday for a boyfriend/girlfriend of one month.

So would I.

Strawb and OP - not even a text every day. It's just a week. OP, text him if you feel you really need to saying what you've done - no one likes a putative partner languishing just because they're not around. "Having a great time hope you are too - I've been rope climbing" would do it for me.

I wouldn't expect any contact really, maybe the odd text, Snapchat etc. My dp went away with friends early in our relationship and I got a few texts and one drunken phone call saying he loved and missed me.
Until we had DD, neither of us really bothered to contact each other when away, and now it's to check on her. Even still he was on a stag weekend last week and I had three texts, one FaceTime to say goodnight to DD and one phone call.

I'd see serious red flags if dp had cancelled a holiday with friends to stay with me.

I went away on a pre-booked week away when DP and I had been together a month.

We were absolutely mad about each other (together almost every night, having a lot of very hot sex, were deep in the honeymoon phase) although hadn't said 'I love you' and I kind of said that I wouldn't be in contact much whilst I was away? Ended up calling him day 3 as I simply wanted to hear his voice. Called him every night after that as well.... also turned up straight from airport - sans suitcase - as I was dying to see him

This was a decade ago so before whatsapp, facetime etc...

None at all- been with dh 11 years he gets one call a day to see how kids are/ speak to themon my annual girls hol and none when they're with my mum! Same with him when he's away- I don't mind! I love him to bits but for those 4 days a year I am having a good time not thinking about what he's up to!

I'd hope to get one or two texts during the week. I'd be a bit disappointed to receive nothing at all tbh. But equally I wouldn't expect daily contact.

Every couple is different OP. My DP went on holiday recently (booked before we got together) and I'd typically get a good morning text, a couple of picture messages throughout the day and then a little text chat at night when he got into bed. Told me he loved me and missed me every day. A text takes a few seconds to send and if you are usually in contact a lot I would expect that to continue but maybe less frequently- especially in the early exciting stages of a relationship!

He offered to cancel in a certain context which I don't want to talk about. He's in no way clingy and trust me I'm not unhinged.
I am a perfectly normal person who was in a relationship for 5 years, almost got married and is confused now, this is my first relationship after that.

Thanks everyone!!! You were all lovely!