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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the police are a bit of a let down? (Lots of swearing inside)

155 replies

DuckAndPancakes · 11/08/2017 09:48

Yesterday afternoon, I went to go to the supermarket with my friend and two children (1 & 7). As I went to pull into the supermarket, a car came around the round about, not indicating. I braked and in frustration, threw my hands up.

The car in front stopped dead in front of me as I pulled in to the car park and the passenger, a middle aged woman, came up to my window and started shouting and screaming at me.
I said that I was frustrated as they hadn't used their indicator on the roundabout and that it's possibly going to cause an accident for someone.
She told me I was "a fucking joke" "ducking disgusting" "who did I think I was". At this point, I interrupted her and said that there was absolutely no reason to be shouting and swearing at me, especially in front of my young children. She then said "I don't give a fuck about your fucking children, you fat fucking cunt". Then walked off and got back in her car and drove off.

Relatively shaken and upset, I went and parked my car and got my children out. I had my 1 year old son in my arms. As we walked into the shop, my friend pointed out that the car was parked (on the double yellow lines right outside) and to get the registration. I'd left my glasses in the car so couldn't see without getting much closer, so took a photo of the car that I'd be able to zoom in on.

Was genuinely scared of going into the store knowing they were probably in there. Ran in and hurried everyone along to be able to get out asap. Went to the self checkouts and was scanning items, where this woman ran up to me, taking pictures of me and my children and telling me to smile for the camera. Shouted at me that I was pathetic and I was disgusting etc. She then came around into the self service area and was extremely up close, continuously berating me. I remained calm the whole time, didn't shout etc. She continued to go off at me right til I was walking out of the shop when she then told ME to leave her alone and I responded with "I haven't done anything, you sad old woman."

Hurried back to my car with my children and burst into tears and phoned the police to report it.

And they're going to do absolutely nothing. They won't contact the owner of the car (who was obviously her partner/husband) because "he will just deny knowledge of who she is or how to contact her". Despite the fact there's CCTV from her getting out of the car and coming and shouting at me, despite the fact there's cctv of her taking pictures of me and my children and berating me in self checkout. Despite having my friend as a witness as well as staff from the supermarket.

I just feel so .... let down. It's not even like I was going to go after a prosecution, but knowing that this woman has completely got away with this without even having a talking to from the police.

My 7 year old is completely shook up as she was scared of what this woman could or would do (though bless her, kept telling me I wasn't fat I was just cuddly).

I wish I hadn't bothered to stay calm.
My poor friend feels awful because she didn't want to start saying things to her and make it look like we were ganging up on her.

I'm just so frustrated that the police aren't even going To try. All I've been told is that the number plate is logged with the crime and that if it flags again then it will "paint a bigger picture" but at this time it's not know to them (6 month old Mercedes).

I feel completely and utterly downtrodden and down today.

OP posts:
DuckAndPancakes · 11/08/2017 18:10

"Arguably, therefore, so long as the behaviour complained of ceased, even for a short period of time, and then resumed either in the same or a different form, this can form a course of conduct."

Nicknacky the very thing you quoted actually negates what you said. One incident happened on the "road" into the supermarket where the car had stopped and she came up to my window (the car being stopped in front of me made me unable to move away). That then completely stopped and a time passed between them driving off and going and parking up, me parking up and then the woman reapproaching me inside of the supermarket after time had passed (10-15 minutes For me to park, go into the shops, get a seven year old who was pretty distraught to decide on a lunch and getting to the tills, queuing and then paying).

OP posts:
Nancy91 · 11/08/2017 18:13

Sorry OP but no matter how much you quote from online sources, the police are the ones trained to deal with this and they have decided it's not worth pursuing. Best to just let it go now.

Nicknacky · 11/08/2017 18:21

Duck Honestly, its not harassment. Its one incident, not a continuous course of conduct. Don't try and make it into something it isn't.

brasty · 11/08/2017 19:10

These kind of incidents are scary and no doubt left you shaken.
But it is not a crime. It is an argument in public.
I hope you feel better soon.

Alicia555 · 11/08/2017 19:58

Sorry to hear how horrible that bitch was to you op, please don't dwell on it or it will just make you feel worse. Sadly I've been in a situation myself where the police wouldn't help. I was threatened at work by a customer who told me he was going to wait for me to finish work and kill me i was obviously very frightened, reported it and was told nothing could be done I'm guessing the only way he would have got investigated is if he had killed me.

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