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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

ExH kissing DD15 on the lips

271 replies

noodella · 10/08/2017 21:19

I know there's been a lot in the press recently about "celebs" kissing their young children on the lips, but what about older teenagers?
ExH turned up to pick up DD15 yesterday and kissed her on the lips as they walked to the car. The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I am with it. I love my Dad with all my heart, but kissing him on the lips would just seem wrong.
AIBU to think it's weird or is it quite normal?

OP posts:
MorelloKisses · 10/08/2017 22:04

I broached with DD(8) a couple of weeks ago that it might be time we dropped the peck on the lips and moved to cheek instead. She was so sad and dejected,

awww, this is why this is so sad - kissing your children is lovely!

i kiss my dad on the lips at 37 and when behind closed doors we are usually gearing at the football or putting the politicians to rights.

each to their own, but calling it creepy is ignorant and rude

Newtothis2017 · 10/08/2017 22:05

Up to your dd

ragdoll700 · 10/08/2017 22:06

Thats normal IMO

MsJamesDeanBradfield · 10/08/2017 22:07

I think it's gross. Not normal at all.

CosmicPineapple · 10/08/2017 22:09

Why gross?

MsHarry · 10/08/2017 22:10

YABU!!! I don't get this issue at all. My DDs are 16 and 13 and still kiss on the lips sometimes. It's a peck, lasts barely a second, no big deal. Actually I think I do peck my dad on the lips or side of lips tbh.

MsHarry · 10/08/2017 22:11

Some people obviously have issues with sexuality to even think there is something wrong. What are you suggesting, your thoughts are gross!

honeyroar · 10/08/2017 22:12

It's not normal to me, but I know a fair few people who do kiss family on the lips. There's nothing wrong with them - in fact if you look at it rationally, why are we so uptight about it?? It's not done in a sexual manner, it's just matter of fact.

Jux · 10/08/2017 22:14

I don't care what other people do, but I started getting folk from our llocal church making strange remarks about dh kissing dd, how "she's becoming shaped like a woman you know" (oh, of course I haven't noticed that, I'm an idiot and blind to boot you silly people). Anyway, word got back to dh and though he was upset, he stopped doing it.

We just kiss her on her head generally these days.

CosmicPineapple · 10/08/2017 22:14

I totally get some do it some dont but why the horrid comments?

Calling it gross and disgusting is awful. It may help if you take your mind out of the gutter and accept some people are comfortable with that level of affection. It does not make them gross or disgusting.

Cailleach666 · 10/08/2017 22:15

I think this is a subject that divides.
We are a family of non lip kissers ( except partners)
I don't kiss my babies on the lips, my parents never kissed me on the lips. OH is the same- a family on non lip kissers.
My children have had lots of affection including kisses- but just not on the lips.
It's how it is for some people. It's not sad or weird.

I am aware that some families do kiss children on the lips- and that's normal for them.

Each to their own.

gillybeanz · 10/08/2017 22:16

We all kiss each other on the lips in my family, except obviously I don't do this with ils.
We must be very weird too then.
I have never heard anyone say they found it unacceptable.
I find it weird and that people obviously have some sort of problem if they think kissing a family member on the lips is weird.
Each to their own, some people aren't close with their families and don't hug or kiss at all.

shouldnthavesaid · 10/08/2017 22:18

I kiss my mum on the lips and other female relatives/some friends - I'm 26. My boss even planted a big kiss on me when I left work a few days ago . A very seriously ill patient gave me a lip kiss a few weeks ago - surprised but not at all disgusted. Its just a nice affectionate thing to do I think.

MsHarry · 10/08/2017 22:18

Lips are for kissing! Grin

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 10/08/2017 22:18

Kissing on the lips is cringe. Not for me but you are over thinking it, he's her dad and if she doesn't have an issue with it it's up to her.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 10/08/2017 22:18

I'd find it odd and rather creepy (what else do they get up to behind closed doors?).

Oh grow up!

Toodlepip16 · 10/08/2017 22:20

I kiss my nearly 80 year old grandad on the lips, and I'm 28. I did when I was little and I would feel uncomfortable making a point of not doing it now!

Hulababy · 10/08/2017 22:25

Msjames and others - of course it's normal. Read the thread. It's totally normal for lots and lots of families. It may not be normal in your family. But it doesn't mean it's wrong and not normal for others.

It's all about accepting that people have different thoughts on the matter and it's up to them, not to demonise the other side for doing something totally innocent!

I don't think some posters actually think about what they are saying or what they are implying/accusing other posters of!!!

MsHarry · 10/08/2017 22:25

Little children pucker up their lips to kiss yours. I can't imagine reaching a point where I would say, oh now you have breasts developing we can't do that anymore!! What sort of message is that sending out? It's robbing children of an innocent display of affection.

Topseyt · 10/08/2017 22:26

Some people do this, others don't. Either are normal.

No need to make something out of nothing, unless DD is uncomfortable with it.

geekone · 10/08/2017 22:32

lips are for kissing

This a million times over Grin😘😘

user10794etc · 10/08/2017 22:35

fact is that either is fine. what matters is that the people kissing both want to peck on the lips

This. It's not THAT unusual. Unless your DD has a problem with it, why does it matter?

Clawdy · 10/08/2017 22:36

My sister and I always gave my dad a quick kiss on the lips when we said goodnight, up until we left home. Never seemed remotely odd to any of us.

Topseyt · 10/08/2017 22:37

Kpo58, what utter bollocks.

I have always kissed my parents on the lips as well as on the cheek. I can absolutely assure you that behind closed doors nothing at all untoward goes on. We have always just been a normal family.

DaisysStew · 10/08/2017 22:38

It would be weird if it wasn't something they'd ever done before, but as pps have said, if that's always been their normal way to say goodbye then there's nothing wrong with it (I'm assuming we're talking about a peck not a proper kiss).

For those that say it's not normal, try telling that to my 2 year old DS. I got told off last week for kissing his forehead: "No Mummy, you kiss me on the mouth, not my head!" followed by the angriest puckering up you've ever seen 😂