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AIBU?

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Original poster

ExH kissing DD15 on the lips

271 replies

noodella · 10/08/2017 21:19

I know there's been a lot in the press recently about "celebs" kissing their young children on the lips, but what about older teenagers?
ExH turned up to pick up DD15 yesterday and kissed her on the lips as they walked to the car. The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I am with it. I love my Dad with all my heart, but kissing him on the lips would just seem wrong.
AIBU to think it's weird or is it quite normal?

OP posts:
Migraleve · 10/08/2017 21:29

What exactly do people find weird about this?

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 10/08/2017 21:31

Ffs, you don't have to do it personally but to say it's 'creepy' is bloody rude.

NotTheCoolMum · 10/08/2017 21:31

My dad kept trying to kiss me on the lips for quite a while after I started finding it uncomfortable. Impossible to reject the kiss in front of anyone else of course. I would have been 13 or so.

YANBU

LonginesPrime · 10/08/2017 21:34

My dad took the piss out of me as a teenager because I started turning my head when he went to kiss me on the lips and offer him my cheek instead.

After 20 years, he's more or less shut up about it (he used to think it was because I was 'putting on airs'), but I suspect he still thinks I'm weird!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 10/08/2017 21:34

To me it's inappropriate. But ok I agree it may be different for other families. I guess it's all about personal boundarieS.

AmysTiara · 10/08/2017 21:35

Normal.

EggysMom · 10/08/2017 21:35

Wow. I find it creepy, I didn't realise until this thread that other people actually do this (and don't consider it odd). Nope, never kissed anyone other than boyfriends/DH on the lips - not my parents, not our son. Weird and creepy.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 10/08/2017 21:36

And it's also a fantastic way to pass on lots of viruses...

Misty9 · 10/08/2017 21:36

Maybe have a chat with her about lip kissing with family and her views? I avoided my dads kisses because they're slobbery and yuck. I did start off feeling weird about kissing my kids on the lips but 6yo ds gives me no choice now!

Migraleve · 10/08/2017 21:36

Weird and creepy.

Why?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/08/2017 21:37

Yabu. It's fine.

strawberrykiss36 · 10/08/2017 21:37

I kiss my grandad on the lips, my mum, even my MIL. If she was bothered I'm sure she wouldn't do it.

MagicMoneyTree · 10/08/2017 21:39

My nana and grandad always used to kiss us on the lips. Never thought of it as anything other than totally normal. As long as both are comfortable with it, I think it's fine. (Although not a chance in hell I'd have let either of my parents kiss me on the lips at 15!)

user1497199406 · 10/08/2017 21:40

YANBU, I would be very uncomfortable, this may society sexualising everything but I can't see the need...

MasterOfDisguise · 10/08/2017 21:43

I broached with DD(8) a couple of weeks ago that it might be time we dropped the peck on the lips and moved to cheek instead. She was so sad and dejected, DH said it was me with the problem not DD and he was absolutely right. So in light of that I've backed down and explained to DD that we'll continue as we were for as long as she wants.

So I guess my response to you OP is that whilst I would have been with you in thinking it odd, I actually have changed my mind and think it's just something society tells us is wrong. For the overwhelming majority of parents there's nothing remotely sexual or weird in a kiss on lips

The7thMaude · 10/08/2017 21:43

A peck on the lips is fine imo, I probably wouldn't but thats because I'm all awkward and uptight. I kissed my dad on the lips my mistake a few time on his birthday etc but it wasn't really weird and people do it all the time really.

Brittbugs80 · 10/08/2017 21:45

Would you be raising it if you were still together? Is your daughter comfortable? Do you move and only offer your cheek when she kisses you?

kathrynelizabeth3005 · 10/08/2017 21:46

Totally normal. I'm 28 and still kiss my parents on the lips. It's only an issue if your DD doesn't like it and is uncomfortable with it. Otherwise, perfectly normal for parent-child interaction.

slithytove · 10/08/2017 21:46

I don't see an issue with it but I still kiss my parents on the lips

itsbeenaverylongweek · 10/08/2017 21:46

Has he always done it or just started? Is that why it's bothering you?

Yukbuck · 10/08/2017 21:47

Wow I'm so glad that there seem to be more people on here that do find kissing on the lips normal as I started to worry it wasn't!
It's literally a kiss on the lips... she's not saying he's sticking his tongue down her throat. I wish society would stop sexualising everything! It's a kiss.

Soci · 10/08/2017 21:47

Well I would find it odd but that's only because it's not something we did in my family or in DH's family. I think I've only ever met one person who kissed a family member on the lips (apart from little kids of course). it was a friend of mine probably aged 12-14 and she kissed her dad goodbye while offering him his coat (actually helping him put it on like sometimes men would do to women) when he was going out for the evening. I found the whole thing odd but also kind of funny and weirdly sweet. Agree with PPs that it all depends how your DD feels about it. She might be used to it and think it's normal.

Hassled · 10/08/2017 21:47

Completely weird to me, completely normal to my PILs (and to an extent DH, although he's grasped that other people would find it weird). I don't know if it's an age or class or regional thing, but to many people it's fine. What did your Ex's parents do? Is this just learnt, normal behaviour to him?

Anecdoche · 10/08/2017 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MattBerrysHair · 10/08/2017 21:48

If it's normal behaviour for the two of them then I don't see how it can be creepy or inappropriate. If it's a new behaviour then I would be concerned at her age. My dsis and db both kiss our dm on the lips, they always have. I stopped in early teens so I would find it strange if dm just planted one on me, but I don't find my siblings and dm weird for still doing it.