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AIBU?

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Original poster

ExH kissing DD15 on the lips

271 replies

noodella · 10/08/2017 21:19

I know there's been a lot in the press recently about "celebs" kissing their young children on the lips, but what about older teenagers?
ExH turned up to pick up DD15 yesterday and kissed her on the lips as they walked to the car. The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I am with it. I love my Dad with all my heart, but kissing him on the lips would just seem wrong.
AIBU to think it's weird or is it quite normal?

OP posts:
ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 17:39

What is inappropriate about it? I am genuinely intrigued as many posters just say its weird/inappropriate/creepy but no real reason as to why.

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 17:43

I honestly know more people who kiss on the lips than don't. I think as I got older I kissed aunts/uncles more on the cheek rather than lips but I don't remember making a conscious decision really, immediate family and best friends I do.

My boys 11&9 kiss me, DH, grandparents, my DB and SIL and my best friend on the lips still, they instigate it. I have never seen them inappropriately kiss or hug anyone so the must know reasonable boundaries.

wigglybeezer · 11/08/2017 17:45

Yup kiss everyone here, (caveat, everyone who wants one, DS3 is not keen so he gets a peck on the cheek), parents, in-laws, and some old friends too! Always kissed Grandparents and Aunties and uncles too.

PandorasXbox · 11/08/2017 17:47

What's inappropriate about it?

Well obviously it's just a personal opinion but to me it would seem quite invasive. I like a hug but just keep your lips away 💋😄

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 17:50

That's totally different though Pandora, it's always inappropriate if the person does not want you to kiss them, surely your family would know if you did lip kissing or not. We're not talking people forcing kisses on others.

Cailleach666 · 11/08/2017 17:55

I would rather not subject my kids to herpes before they are in a position to make that choice for themselves.

Grilledaubergines · 11/08/2017 18:07

do you think they might come to you one day, asking to be subjected to herpes then, cailleach ? Confused

Orangebird69 · 11/08/2017 18:11

caille, I'm a big lip kisser. I'm 42. Never had a cold sore in my life. It's a wonder isn't it?! 🙄

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 18:14

Same here Orange, my DH gets cold sores now and then and is extremely careful when he does as was my nan (she was a big lip kisser). I have never caught one nor have anyone else in my immediate family.

Cailleach666 · 11/08/2017 18:15

Each to their own.

I would hate a stream of however well meaning aunts cousins and grandparents lip kissing my babies.

ZanyMobster · 11/08/2017 18:24

No one is talking about a stream of people lip kissing babies, I don't find that people kiss tiny babies on the lips, usually the head. The OP is about a 15 yo who can say what they think or offer their cheek etc.

PandorasXbox · 11/08/2017 18:27

Today 17:50 ZanyMobster

That's totally different though Pandora, it's always inappropriate if the person does not want you to kiss them, surely your family would know if you did lip kissing or not. We're not talking people forcing kisses on others.

Say what now. I was giving my opinion on why I wouldn't like it. Either doing the kissing or receiving them. Yuck.

MsHarry · 11/08/2017 18:34

I would rather not subject my kids to herpes before they are in a position to make that choice for themselves.
Eh up, the Daily Fail reader is among us!

JacquesHammer · 11/08/2017 18:54

I would rather not subject my kids to herpes before they are in a position to make that choice for themselves

Why would that happen? Surely you'd be sensible enough to not kiss them if you had a break out?

Ex-H and FIL both had cold sores. DD and I have never had one. We were together 15 years

Witsender · 11/08/2017 19:01

Most of my friends are lip kissers too. And their kids. Of course it is inappropriate if it is uncomfortable to one party, absolutely. But that can't be extrapolated to mean that the whole concept is inappropriate, for all people all of the time.

Gillian1980 · 11/08/2017 19:03

You'll never get a unanimous answer on this one.

I'm 37 and still give my dad a peck on the lips, always have. So to me it's normal and I'd have no issue with my dd kissing her dad on the lips at any age.

Zarah123 · 11/08/2017 19:05

Yes Pooh anyone who disagrees with you with a goady fucker. 🙄

Twat.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/08/2017 19:15

The Romans greeted family with a kiss on the lips. Kissing on the lips for the Elizabethans was non sexual and not just practiced between family members.

My childhood was largely devoid of affection. I kiss dd on the lips as does dh. Clearly our ancestors are calling us home. Grin

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/08/2017 19:20

Yes Pooh anyone who disagrees with you with a goady fucker.

Twat

No a really anyone who says something as stupid as....

I think because of the world we live in, where our DC are more likely to be abused by someone in the family or a family friend, it's irresponsible to kiss children on the lips

Which you did is a GF.

Twat

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/08/2017 19:21

*no not really....

Zarah123 · 11/08/2017 19:27

Yes, Pooh that's my opinion. You're entitled to your own. Calling me a goady fucker for mine is akin to troll hunting.

And think up your own insults, I already called you a twat 😂

HTH

JacquesHammer · 11/08/2017 19:35

Unfortunahely Zarah your opinion is irresponsible and has no basis in any fact

Zarah123 · 11/08/2017 19:44

Opinion:

a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

I didn't claim to be an expert. I disagree with lip kissing kids (unless they instigate it of their own accord). You don't have to agree with me, my choices and my experiences do not affect you.

MamaHanji · 11/08/2017 19:53

*Zarah
*
That is bullshit. By your reasoning, we should encourage from a very young age no physical contact so their boundaries offer no room for abuse (which in itself is never fucking consensual so having boundaries isn't going to help is it).

Instead let's teach our children about choices and body awareness of what they feel comfortable doing. And being a loving and open so that they are always comfortable coming to you when something is wrong.

I asked my mum earlier a question about my bum...I'm 23 and she will answer any questions!

Im sick of this attitude that children are taught (perhaps not intentionally) that their bodies and genitals are something dirty and shameful with silly twee names and hushed tones. Teach them that their body is just for them and possibly the doctor if they are poorly, and what they do with it really is up to them!

Kissing on the lips does not encourage abuse. There is literally no clearer way to say that.

Zarah123 · 11/08/2017 20:03

Mamahanji stop going off on a tangent.

By your reasoning, we should encourage from a very young age no physical contact

Yes because that's what I said Hmm

Why are you talking about bodies and genitals? The thread is about lip kissing? What's your bum got to do with it?

People who don't kiss their kids on the lips can still be very affectionate with them.