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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why drinking alcohol while your kids are asleep is ok but smoking weed is not?

308 replies

QuackPorridgeBacon · 10/08/2017 13:08

I know this may sound like a twattish thread and I understand I may get a lot of shit for it.

The thing is though, I don't understand how wine and gin (two favourites on here) are seemingly ok to consume while kids are in bed sleeping, yet having a smoke is terrible.

Now, putting legalities aside (I don't think they matter seeing how some places are now legalising it can't be that bad) what is the issue with smoking but there seems to be no issue with drinking?

I see friends on fb and the like talking about having a few bottles almost every night some with really small babies (I'm terribly anxious so the younger the child the more I worry, even though I probably shouldn't lol) yet if you have a smoke you are deemed irresponisble and a druggie right up there with crack fs.

One person I know, would drink almost every night and would complain that her partner (now ex) would smoke weed. Yet I see them both as the same really, maybe I see the drinking as worse though because once you are drunk that's it there is no way to really stop that in an emergency. Smoking, you tend to snap out of it need be and are always alert and just snacking will make you feel how you did before anyway.

Basically, wondering what others views are?

OP posts:
Steeley113 · 10/08/2017 13:12

The 2nd hand smoke is enough reason for me.

araiwa · 10/08/2017 13:12

Theres no difference if you ignore legal status of weed.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 10/08/2017 13:13

Drinking to the point of being drunk around kids is not acceptable in my book. Neither is smoking weed.

Weed is also illegal.

BackforGood · 10/08/2017 13:15

Well, the fact one is legal and the other isn't is an issue for most folk, so, although you want to put it aside, that is actually a pretty big factor.

Then there is the fact that everyone around someone smoking weed is affected by it - the smell, and the effects of it if it is more than a passing whiff. Whereas if I drink a glass of wine, it only effects me.

ghostyslovesheets · 10/08/2017 13:16

I have total control of the amount of alcohol I drink - the strength etc is on the label

Cannabis not so much - plus I buy wine from Morrisions - I don't think they are involved in criminal activity, using kids to sell drugs or generally breaking the law

demirose87 · 10/08/2017 13:16

Agree with the second hand smoke, I wouldn't want my kids exposed to that, also wouldn't want my house smelling of it. I think it's a bad idea to get completely pissed if you are responsible for young kids. I'm pregnant at the moment so don't drink,but even with young kids in the house I rarely drink but will stop at one or two as if they wake up and need me I can't give them my full care.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 10/08/2017 13:16

Totally agree. Weed smells but doesnt incapacitate you the same way alcohol does. Alcohol is imo way more harmful and is literally a poison.

ghostyslovesheets · 10/08/2017 13:16

I have total control of the amount of alcohol I drink - the strength etc is on the label

Cannabis not so much - plus I buy wine from Morrisions - I don't think they are involved in criminal activity, using kids to sell drugs or generally breaking the law

LittleBooInABox · 10/08/2017 13:17

Alcohol doesn't have fumes.
Alcohol is legal.

Flimp · 10/08/2017 13:18

If the illegality and the smoke are taken out the equation - because smoke around kids is never good - I totally agree with you.

The legal framework around psychoactive substances is not based on risk, or else booze and fags would be Class As.

thethoughtfox · 10/08/2017 13:20

Getting drunk or stoned while looking after very small children isn't advisable especially if both parents are doing it at the same time. People have said on here before that SS can be involved if a parent is caught with weed or known to smoke it ( I don't know for certain if this is correct) There will always be a stigma associated with parents involved with illegal activity.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 10/08/2017 13:20

I think if people were buying alcohol that they had no idea what it contained, the strength of it or the effect it would have on them then you could compare the two. As that's not the case then a small amount of alcohol is safer to consume when looking after a child. Obviously getting hammered isn't.

Mxyzptlk · 10/08/2017 13:21

^The same as Flimp

elQuintoConyo · 10/08/2017 13:22

I totally agree with the OP.

That's why DH and i stuck to popping Es when ds was tiny. It made getting up in the night eady cos we already were.

And we could dance the shit out of nursery rhymes.

User02 · 10/08/2017 13:22

I cant ignore the illegal status of weed.
I dont use either alcohol or weed.
I just dont like illegal stuff of any description

dollydaydream114 · 10/08/2017 13:24

First of all, there's a difference between a couple of glasses of wine and getting blind drunk. Nobody should be looking after their kids while pissed OR stoned clearly.

However, in my experience the effects of a couple of gins are fairly predictable and you know the exact alcohol content of what you're consuming. The same can't be said of weed. You never know exactly how strong it will be or exactly what effect it will have, so it's always a risk. And "Oh, we trust our supplier," doesn't cut it: regardless of how middle-class they are, they are a drug dealer and you can never be fully sure what you're getting.

Plus, I have to say that I can sit (sober) with friends who have a couple of glasses of wine and not see any difference at all in their behaviour. I couldn't say the same of the times I've sat with friends who are smoking weed.

If your child comes downstairs while you're smoking a joint and says "What's that Mummy/Daddy? It smells funny" what do you say?! "It's a special cigarette but don't say anything about it at nursery or they might send a social worker round?" Hmm

I don't think weed is the devil or anything and I'm not bothered if people smoke it but I personally wouldn't do it with kids in the house and I think the equivalence with a G&T is somewhat false.

dollydaydream114 · 10/08/2017 13:25

Weed smells but doesnt incapacitate you the same way alcohol does

Er... I've seen people very much incapacitated by weed many times.

SteppingOnToes · 10/08/2017 13:27

One wine doesn't give you the appearance of being drunk, one spliff 'does' give you the appearance of being stoned. Why should that be normalised for children?

Also the vile smell - it is quite clear in the playground which parents are weed smokers - don't embarrass your children like that...

DragonsandDungeons · 10/08/2017 13:29

I agree. I don't smoke weed, but before ttc I would drink when DS was asleep. I don't see how someone smoking a spliff is any worse.

Amanduh · 10/08/2017 13:30

Ahh. Just ignore the law, put it aside. Yeah that's fine. Hmm

TeaCake5 · 10/08/2017 13:31

Smoking weed is a habit of brain dead idiots

PickleSarnie · 10/08/2017 13:32

Exactly what dollydaydream says.

troodiedoo · 10/08/2017 13:33

Winners don't use drugs.

DragonsandDungeons · 10/08/2017 13:33

Legality is a red herring. Homosexual behaviour used to be illegal. I think OP is discussing the morality and practicality.

araiwa · 10/08/2017 13:34

I have no problem putting aside stupid laws based on no evidence, racism and pearl clutching.