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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why drinking alcohol while your kids are asleep is ok but smoking weed is not?

308 replies

QuackPorridgeBacon · 10/08/2017 13:08

I know this may sound like a twattish thread and I understand I may get a lot of shit for it.

The thing is though, I don't understand how wine and gin (two favourites on here) are seemingly ok to consume while kids are in bed sleeping, yet having a smoke is terrible.

Now, putting legalities aside (I don't think they matter seeing how some places are now legalising it can't be that bad) what is the issue with smoking but there seems to be no issue with drinking?

I see friends on fb and the like talking about having a few bottles almost every night some with really small babies (I'm terribly anxious so the younger the child the more I worry, even though I probably shouldn't lol) yet if you have a smoke you are deemed irresponisble and a druggie right up there with crack fs.

One person I know, would drink almost every night and would complain that her partner (now ex) would smoke weed. Yet I see them both as the same really, maybe I see the drinking as worse though because once you are drunk that's it there is no way to really stop that in an emergency. Smoking, you tend to snap out of it need be and are always alert and just snacking will make you feel how you did before anyway.

Basically, wondering what others views are?

OP posts:
soupforbrains · 10/08/2017 13:34

dollydaydream114 an excellent summary.

GreatFuckability · 10/08/2017 13:34

I agree with you OP. cognitive dissonance is strong in this particular scenario.

TheStoic · 10/08/2017 13:35

Completely agree with you, OP.

People who believe one is better than the other because the law tells them so are a little bit thick.

TiredMumToTwo · 10/08/2017 13:36

I agree with you OP, once cannabis is legalised the stigma should fade but will still probably be a generational thing. Alcohol is proven to do as much damage as class As, only difference is it's legal.

GreatFuckability · 10/08/2017 13:37

winners don't use drugs

Justin Gatlin might beg to differ Grin

ohmyblob · 10/08/2017 13:37

People would disregard the second hand smoke "are a bit thick"

And it's not 1972, maaaaan

araiwa · 10/08/2017 13:40

Thats why you go outside for a smoke

TheStoic · 10/08/2017 13:41

People would disregard the second hand smoke "are a bit thick"

Seeing as cigarettes are also legal and plenty of people smoke them - some of them parents!! - you'd still have to be a bit thick to clutch your pearls at marijuana.

Steeley113 · 10/08/2017 13:41

I can't believe people are like 'if you ignore the fact it's illegal and the smoke' for weed, that's like saying 'ignore the fact you get pissed' with alcohol 🙄

DixieNormas · 10/08/2017 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

museumum · 10/08/2017 13:43

The difference IS the legality. And the necessary secrecy around that - you can't tell the hv and if you came into contact with police or ambulance you'd have to lie.

And you can't know exactly what you're buying and exactly where it's come from. Someone who is a dealer will know you are a potential customer - are they the kind of person you trust 100%?

Basecamp21 · 10/08/2017 13:44

in my opinion there is no real difference - both in small amounts will not affect your ability to parent and both in larger amount will increasingly affect you.

You could also say the same about prescription drugs - I know people taking opiates prescribed by GP who are on higher dosages than many heroin addicts - but they are seen very differently. Even many over the counter drugs if taken irresponsibly can affect you more severely than many illegal drugs.

My daughter was prescribed anti depressants and only took them for one day and quite literally was more incapable of looking after her children than she would be after a bottle of wine.

If you look into why some substances are illegal and others legal you realise it has little to do with their danger or effects but who made money out of their sale or profits from them being illegal.

museumum · 10/08/2017 13:45

Should add, IF cannabis were ever legalised and controlled I would still choose alcohol because it tastes nice with food and because I have a tendency to want to smoke tobacco and don't like to be around smoking as it tempts me.

araiwa · 10/08/2017 13:45

Its easy enough to grow your own weed then you dont need to worry about criminals

Anatidae · 10/08/2017 13:46

Booze is legal. Weed isn't. Illegality has several issues. What if you get arrested for possession of a bit more than the police suspect is legal? What if you're exposing your kids to dealers? How ethical is you supply chain? It's not like weed is grown ethically in a sunny hillside in Provence is it?

Booze doesn't have second and third hand carcinogens. Weed does

Weed stays in your system longer, meaning you're more likely to be impaired the next day when driving/looking after kids.

While there's nothing wrong with a glass or two in the evening, Drinking to excess while the kids are in bed isn't great either.

ClopySow · 10/08/2017 13:47

Smoking, you tend to snap out of it need be and are always alert and just snacking will make you feel how you did before anyway

Nonsense. I say that as someone who used to smoke. There's a reason why people can not be prosecuted for driving stoned. Reaction times are much slower. You don't snap out of it.

You're right about the weird attitudes about drinking v smoking though.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/08/2017 13:47

I agree with OP.
A few glasses of wine and/or a couple of spliffs after the kids are in bed are both fine.
We do both over a take away and an episode of Game of Thrones.

mydogmymate · 10/08/2017 13:49

Cigarettes and alcohol should be made class A in my opinion. My family has been torn apart by alcohol, it's highly addictive, and because it's legal it's acceptable. I see many parents at school looking rough but finding it funny that they've had loads of wine the previous night & giggle about it. The weed smokers I know aren't like that.

araiwa · 10/08/2017 13:50

Tests showed stoned drivers were better than drunk drivers and sober drivers

HiJenny35 · 10/08/2017 13:50

I don't think it's ok to smoke weed or drink while you are the person responsible for children. However I would allow other people to drink in the house if they were not responsible for a child I wouldn't however ever allow weed in the house. I think it's an unregulated gateway drug which is far too accepted in society.

BertieBotts · 10/08/2017 13:50

You can't just disregard legality and second hand smoke though! Well unless you are taking the weed another way, I suppose you could disregard the smoke concerns then.

There are guidelines about how long it takes for alcohol to come out of your system - weed being unregulated can't have these guidelines because it's not clear how much a person is taking in one go.

If it was legal and regulated then no difference really.

ClopySow · 10/08/2017 13:50

can be prosecuted that should say

VladmirsPoutine · 10/08/2017 13:53

Yanbu. Alcohol I think is far worse and damaging than the odd joint.

I'm half Dutch and partial to the odd joint. I have seen many lives ruined through alcohol. No one ever lost their shit and killed someone because they were high, a lot of people however have been drunk and killed someone.

Miserylovescompany2 · 10/08/2017 13:53

Anything that effects your ability to react in an emergency situation is twattish IMHO!

Anatidae · 10/08/2017 13:54

Tests showed stoned drivers were better than drunk drivers and sober drivers

Really, they really really didn't 😂

Primary literature if you please?