To not understand why drinking alcohol while your kids are asleep is ok but smoking weed is not?

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

I know this may sound like a twattish thread and I understand I may get a lot of shit for it.

The thing is though, I don't understand how wine and gin (two favourites on here) are seemingly ok to consume while kids are in bed sleeping, yet having a smoke is terrible.

Now, putting legalities aside (I don't think they matter seeing how some places are now legalising it can't be that bad) what is the issue with smoking but there seems to be no issue with drinking?

I see friends on fb and the like talking about having a few bottles almost every night some with really small babies (I'm terribly anxious so the younger the child the more I worry, even though I probably shouldn't lol) yet if you have a smoke you are deemed irresponisble and a druggie right up there with crack fs.

One person I know, would drink almost every night and would complain that her partner (now ex) would smoke weed. Yet I see them both as the same really, maybe I see the drinking as worse though because once you are drunk that's it there is no way to really stop that in an emergency. Smoking, you tend to snap out of it need be and are always alert and just snacking will make you feel how you did before anyway.

Basically, wondering what others views are?

I've never really thought of the smell to be honest.. I mean I can admit it sometimes stinks and I wouldn't want my house to smell of it but it's not that bad of a smell (to me anyway). I never noticed people smelling of weed though and I've known a few who probably should.

Tests showed stoned drivers were better than drunk drivers and sober drivers

What fucking bollocks.

I've heard that you have to have some underlying mental issues for it to affect you and highlight the issue and make it worse. Once you stop or limit it can get better. I didn't think it could cause mental health issues form nothing.

The attitude to cannabis on here really.makes me feel sad.

Fil has terminal lung cancer. Mil asked dh if he knew anyone where his parents live who could get cannabis, because fil suffers constant pain and nausea and will be dead within two years.

Cousin's wife's relative lives in Canada and received a diagnosis of terminal stomach cancer, six months. He takes a tiny amount of cannabis oil every evening, and no chemo or any other drugs. The only treatment he's had is a complete change of diet to healthy foods, and cannabis oil, and he's lived four times longer than he should have, with minimal pain.

I wish that was possible for my fil, for my kids not to lose their grandad and see him in pain. Mil is drinking heavily as she really isn't coping, and I'm scared to have the kids around her when she's drunk because her behaviour is so inappropriate. I wouldn't have the same concerns if fil was stoned.

Please, if you don't like your neighbour smoking weed, think people who take drugs are losers and stink, and think it should stay illegal, please remember cannabis is also a medicine that can help thousands of ill people, but isn't permitted due to current law.

Alcohol causes thousands of deaths a year and is total legal, cannabis causes none, has beneficial effects, and is banned. The only thing that stinks of is hypocrisy.

I hate the smell of weed and personally, it makes me really ill. I also know 2 people whose mental health has been badly damaged by it, so I've always been a bit sceptical about the claims that it's harmless, plus (in my experience) it makes people really, really boring to be around. Obviously alcohol can do that as well, but only after people have had a few glasses.

Yup I worked for a time in an adolescent psychiatric unit and saw cases. Absolutely awful. I hope I have scared my DDs off trying it.
I do know someone with terminal cancer who use cannabis to help them sleep. They said it was better than the prescribed medication which would leave them feeling in their own words "drugged up".

've heard that you have to have some underlying mental issues for it to affect you and highlight the issue and make it worse. Once you stop or limit it can get better. I didn't think it could cause mental health issues form nothing.

It certainly exacerbates existing issues but alcohol alone can cause serious permanent damage. Korsokoff syndrome for example. Psychosis, seizures, and it's a significant contributor to several forms of dementia.

Weed is not that benign. You've got all he bad effects of tobacco smoke, which include second hand smoke (reduced if you're outside) and third hand smoke which is where chemical components attach to your skin, clothes, and environment. This is quite damaging to those who come in contact with those items. For example, cats of smokers frequently get leukaemia due to the amount of carcinogens that they lick off their fur.
The smell is awful and even if you're outside you bring it in. Please do consider the effect that will have on your kids at school. Consider the fact that all teachers are quite aware of what that smell is - it's going to put your kids on that mental list of 'keep an eye on them.' And it could lead to them being teased.
It's a significant trigger for psychosis. You never really know how strong it is or what's been used to grow it or what's been sprayed on it. Some herbal product now has synthetic cannabinoids sprayed on for extra hit effect.
It's also illegal which means fuck knows who was hurt growing it. Illegal grows tend to be staffed by bonded labour where I used to live.

The argument that either booze or weed are ok and the other is bad is just the wrong way to look at it. Both are substances that are capable of causing significant harm to the individual and society.

I have taken (in the past), weed, mushrooms, acid and ecstasy and they were all fun.

Whilst they were fun, I haven't since my children were born. I'm not entirely sure why. I don't see weed in particular is frowned upon.

I think anyone who takes drugs when they have other responsibilities needs to seriously re-evaluate their lives. I think the same about anyone (can't say I've met "stoner parents" in the playground).

I think there are very misguided ideas here with regard to what counts as a dangerous drug. I smoked for 20 years and tobacco is frightening. I haven't touched a cigarette for 23 years but it's only in the last 2 or 3 I'd say I'm not even tempted to smoke again.

I think MN probably isn't a typical place to get an accurate idea of opinions about drugs though (legal or illegal). Having half a bottle of wine when solely in charge of children is a 'red flag'.

I don't judge anyone who has a good job, is a good parent and does something in moderation. I work in a 'naice' school and there are plenty of wealthy parents who drop the children off looking noticeably hungover at least once a week. That isn't moderation to my mind.

Of course there are issues like passive smoking but I wouldn't judge a parent who had a joint outside any differently to someone who had a glass of wine or two.

Please, if you don't like your neighbour smoking weed, think people who take drugs are losers and stink, and think it should stay illegal, please remember cannabis is also a medicine that can help thousands of ill people, but isn't permitted due to current law.

If you make it a legal medicine you might as well legalise it. Because in Canada anyone that has access to an online doctor and can say the words, 'anxiety' 'depression' or 'pain' gets a script. Everyone knows what to say and they are all given a script for it. I work with youth and believe me, half the kids I work with are taking it legally. Not healthily in my opinion, but legally.

Coffeethrow there is a lot of research being done currently into the medical/pharmaceutical use of weed. It contains many different compounds, not all psychoactive.
I have been a passenger in a car with someone I quickly realised was baked on weed. I got the fuck out and walked. Both are bad in quantity.

People commit crimes, are violent, and die while stoned. Like, pretty much anything people will do while drunk, they will do while stoned (before getting to what happens when people are both) they both lower inhibitions, so violent people are likely to be more violent regardless of their drug of choice. Both tend to think they are fine for far longer and can sober up/come down faster than reality. Maybe it's just where I am but I hear way more people demonizing alcohol and praising marijuana than the other way around when really it's a lot more complicated with both.

Both alcohol and cannabis can help people, and I've read Portugal has done wonders with decriminalizing, but having medicinal properties doesn't make something sunshine and rainbows anymore than the well researched negative side effects mean no one should use it ever.

My parents both used alcohol and pot (and at least one also did prescription painkillers without a prescription). They tried/were able to hide it when I was small, but that only worked until my older brother was a teen (and really brought some clarity to some earlier memories). Also, pretty much every other adult in my life knew about it - SS was called a few times, so were the police, several parents didn't want us around because of it. Kids find out, often sooner rather than later.

If your kid(s) woke up, would it be obvious (both the drug and them being up)? Would you be able to deal with an emergency if you're in the back garden smoking and need to spray yourself down the way someone with a light alcoholic drink can just put it down? I mean, just in the descriptions given in what needs to be done to keep kids safe from it seems to suggest they're quite different before we even get to how incapacitated one could make you. So yeah, there is a difference alongside legality and smoke and secondhand high effects which can be awful particularly for kids. I still remember getting sick from it. That probably part of why alcohol is more socially acceptable obviously and easier to ensure others are sober or choosing lighter drinks which are less guaranteed with pot.

Being the child of a drunk or high parent is terrifying and horrible regardless of whether they're drunk or high. Dealing with a drunk or high parent, even when they're attempting to be nice and coherent, was never a good time. Some of my worst childhood memories involved a parent being high and driving wildly, high and violent, like... really, I don't think trying to place either as better than the other based on their effects on a person helps anyone. They can both mess you up and make you unfit to look after a kid.

No one said cannabis is harmless.

So much illogical thinking on this subject from MN. That Reverend Lovejoy quote from the Simpsons springs to mind...

"Once something has been approved by the Government it's no longer immoral!"

Why all the wittering about second hand smoke? Is the assumption that all weed smokers are so obtuse and selfish that they'd inflict carcinogens on the young lungs of their children? People I know who smoke (tobacco as well) go outside, certainly those with kids do. Weed smokers aren't monsters. As a rule their dealers aren't either, from my experience they're often small scale growers with no other criminal interests.

All in all weed is much gentler on the internal organs (with the exception of the lungs if you smoke it) than alcohol and it's far easier to get up and function the next morning after a session of weed than booze. The country would be a better place if only a fraction of our alcohol use was replaced by cannabis use.

And as for the scientific studies on drunk/stoned driving that people have dismissed as "fucking bollocks", here are some links to a couple of them, one academic, one government study. If you disagree with the findings then let us know what your issues are with the methodologies...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2722956/

www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/02/09/stoned-drivers-are-a-lot-safer-than-drunk-ones-new-federal-data-show/

I know it's not the case for everyone and alcohol can be just as dangerous but I'm watching someone I know dying in front of our eyes who started smoking weed and went on to take other drugs. I see weed as a gateway drug and I hate it.

I see young lads on their bikes delivering the stuff , it upsets me so much.

I can control my alcohol intake and the anticipated effect.
People saying weed doesn't incapacitate you - I passed out in a field aged 15 after two drags and couldn't move my legs for an hour ....

Iv never ever even tried a puff of weed or cannabis and would never as I just associate it as drugs . I certainly would never do it around my children . Having a glass of wine when kids are asleep is to me much more preferable than someone doing drugs . Each to there own but alcohol is legal and cannabis is not !! I personally wouldn't know what a spliff smelt like as iv not smelt one before but if it's anything like a cigarette smell then I'd definitely not want it in my home or near the children . Cigarettes absolutely stink and the smell clings to everything. You can always tell at nursery which small children have parents who smoke by the smell of their clothes and their school bags and work books . It's vile

Tbh I'm surprised by the majority of responses on this thread. Getting a totally different picture of mumsnet users. Interesting stuff!

I had similar someother

Smoked dope (back in the days it looked like a stock cube) three times. Not even that much. First time I puked up the spaghetti I'd eaten for dinner which was nice. One time I had munchies and ate entire box of crispy pancakes and half a box of potato waffles (was student which is my excuse for having that crap in my freezer) the third time I lay down in the communal garden and literally couldn't move my legs for why seemed like forever. Feck knows what the neighbours thought.

Whereas with Gin. I know exactly how it's going to affect me

I'm sorry about your father in law coffee. Very well said though, the medicinal side of things baffles me so much as to why it is still illegal when it can benefit so many.

Even if they just legalised it for medical use it would be a start and should be priority.

Very well said though, the medicinal side of things baffles me so much as to why it is still illegal when it can benefit so many.

It's because of the safety profile, as well as all the political stuff. Weed does have serious side effects - not in everyone, which is why plenty of people will roll their eyes at that, but it's associated with respiratory depression and psychosis and other things too. No drug with side effects like that would be passed as safe.
What scientists are trying to do is isolate the more beneficial compounds and take out the less beneficial ones. That is not easy to do. CBD oil is often touted as 'being without the problems of THC (the component that's mainly responsible for actually being stoned) BUT... CBD is actually quite strongly associated with psychosis, far more so than THC which may actually have a mild antipsychotic effect ( it's a partial receptor agonist unlike CBD which binds fully.)

I don't see any difference myself. Just people getting hung up on the legality of it and thinking that the massive stoners that are the noticeable users are representative of all users, as if all alcohol users are represented by alcoholics.

"Plus, I have to say that I can sit (sober) with friends who have a couple of glasses of wine and not see any difference at all in their behaviour. I couldn't say the same of the times I've sat with friends who are smoking weed."

This. I have never been in the company of people smoking weed without feeling that their judgment was in some way impaired, especially in the direction of becoming overly laid-back and optimistic (not a good idea if you may be called on to evaluate symptoms of suddenly sickening child).

Otoh I have frequently been in the company of moderate wine drinkers and not noticed any difference in their behaviour or intellectual sharpness or general take on things after a moderate quantity of wine: in fact, I wouldn't usually be able to tell who has been drinking and who hasn't. That is the only kind of drinking I think is sensible when in charge of young children. But I'm not sure that kind of pot smoking really exists.

I don't think either are a good idea if you have young children
Many people claim they are still ok after a couple of drinks or a bit of weed but it's crap. Reactions are affected even after a small amount of alcohol. OK you may not be wasted but you are definitely affected so why risk it?
I think of the two, I would prefer cannabis use to alcohol. For many people one drink leads to more than they intended.
Just my opinion, and I accept there are many people who are ok after a few drinks but sadly there are many people who don't realise they are not ok.

You can say the same with moderate amounts of weed though.

Surely if you are using words like 'moderate' then that should mean the same in regards to both alcohol and weed?