To be shocked that so many people get supported financially by parents in adulthood?

[LittleLucyLuce]

Nearly everyone that I know that has an extravagant lifestyle comes from a background where there is family money and gets supported financially by their parents as an adult.

One woman that I know, who is married with children, gets a monthly allowance from her father to buy clothes, hair extensions, get her nails done etc, and her father pays for 2 foreign holidays per year for them.

Another couple got their house bought for them by his parents, and her parents pay for their holidays, school fees for the kids, and anything that the kids need such as shoes, clothes, or toys.

These are just two of the examples of people that I know get money from parents. I don't come from a background of family money at all, but it seems that I'm in the minority.

DH's parents gave us a big share of their dp's inheritance several years ago. We didn't need the money, but they needed it even less. We bought a holiday home with it, so it has benefited us, our DC and will hopefully benefit any gc. They said it would be wasted sitting in the bank.
My gp's bought me my first car and dp's gave me a wodge of cash when I replaced it several years later.
We have also had several smaller cash gifts from both sides of the family towards holidays and various other things. Probably £2-3000 a year, plus similar for our DC for the future.
Feel very lucky, we never asked for any. Loads of families we know support their offspring, if they can afford to, financially and in other ways.
People we know have just been given over £300k to move into their dream home.

We get help as do my siblings and bil and sil. Both my parents and in laws (and me to be honest) are of the mindset that you can't take it with you so would rather all of us have a comfortable life rather than watching some of us struggling (we've all been there at different times). However, it also works both ways and we'll all help each other out when we can. It also isn't for luxuries and not just to bail us out etc in situations of our own making etc. If any of us borrow money it's always paid back etc.

JustHereForThePooStories since you're presumably going to inherit the money anyway, wouldn't it be better to accept it now in the hope that your parents don't die in the next 7 years?

indubious I think you raise an excellent point. My mum was from a comfortable middle class family but my dad came from grinding poverty, he doesn't have an O'level to his name and he ended up as the managing director of a public company. He educated us all privately and put us all through university and paid for weddings but other than that, not a penny for one of us. I think that he feels that he gave us the grounding he never had and that we shouldn't take things for granted as he gave us the skills and it's up to us to use them. Likewise, I expect that when you've had nothing you're scared to take your eyes off it. I should add that I don't resent their lack of financial help for a second, we don't need a penny from them and I have no doubt whatever that if we ever actually needed it they'd be there in a shot. I'm thinking medical treatment, bankruptcy etc but day to day, no.

The rise in house prices together with generous pensions means many of this generation are pretty well off and in some ways have it easier. If they want to help their DCs out before it's all eaten up with care home fees and IHT then what's the problem. My PIL have helped out occasionally with big purchases and with extra curricular stuff for their DGCs - we never ask or expect them to help and we are very grateful. Their view is 'we can't take it with us'. However, I would draw the line at parents paying for hair extensions.

I get quite a bit of help from my parents. I never ever ever ask for it though.

They both worked FT from 15/16 and had more than one private pension each, plus they probably get the state pension now that they are both retired I should think. Also they have no mortgage/rent to pay. So I think they are fairly well off. Not rolling in money, but enough to get by and put a lot to one side.

Every year they pay for us to go to the South of France with them (they have their own place there and we stay with them so they just pay travel expenses while we save up spending money ourselves), however the way I see it is that they are spending money to ensure that they spend time with me and my family while they can.

They also bought me my car. This was after the car we had which was their cast off last time.

Im also handed cash on various visits too.

Over the weekend I was told that I dont need to worry about money although I do, but like I said I never ever ever ask for it. Im just not as savvy as my mum with money and dont want to admit to her about my lack of savings or that we do mainly live payday to payday.

I think its more of a avoidance to pay as much inheritance tax. My Dsis unfortunately passed away when she was 18 so it is just me now.

Its their money, they've worked for it. Why can't they spend it how they see fit? They certainly dont do it at any disadvantage to them. They go down to the South of France twice a year for 5 months in total and have another 2 or 3 holidays a year.

Although I do realise how lucky I am though.

DP and I are mid-twenties and get a lot of financial help from his parents. His DF earns an astronomical amount of money and came from poverty as a child, where his parents gave most of their money to the church to the detriment of their own children. I think this is why he is so generous with us and hates to see us struggle financially. They have paid dd's nursery fees to allow me to go back to college/university. Pay DP's travel to get to work. Supported DP with doing some extra qualifications so he can work his way up to a better paid job, amongst other things.

Once dd is at school and I've finished university, we will be able to support ourselves. We would be up shits creek without them and I will forever be grateful for it, and I hope once we are older and more financially stable we can do something to say thank you for all of their help.

I would do the same for my dd in a heartbeat.

My parents have helped pay towards childcare for years and paid for our kitchen when we moved into our house a few years ago.

I never ask for money and they are incredibly generous. I am always grateful and never take it for granted.

They are baby boomers and have done well from pensions and investments. They are of the mindset they'd rather help us that see us struggle.

I'm in my mid 30s and have not had financial support from my parents since I graduated, until now as they're helping us out with a deposit to buy our first home, which is pretty common among my friends I think. My grandparents did the same for mum & dad so they wanted to pay it forward! I was really surprised when a couple of friends confessed to me that their parents still supported them with a regular allowance - they were pretty embarrassed about it so might be more common than people think!

I think those are odd situations. At least in my opinion. We have a 3 year old and an 8 month old and my parents help us out a lot. We live completely month to month so when our washing machine broke last month, my parents bought us a new one and we are paying them back monthly for 6 months.

They also buy my daughters shoes for her twice a year. And paid for her to attend preschool two mornings a week. I don't need the childcare, but she really needed the interaction and independence. That's stopping now as she qualifies for 15 hours free in September.

If my parents didn't help us, we would be on the breadline.

I know they helped my sister with her wedding and my brother with his deposit for his flat. We are definitely not spoiled. But their help means we aren't so poor that we can't afford to take the kids go soft-play or us have a takeaway once a month.

We would survive without them. But it means we aren't on the breadline with their help.

A lot of this is, as other posters have said, down to it being so much more difficult to make money just by 'working hard', for the younger generation. Wages are stagnant, housing costs insanely high. So many parents of adult children will give financial help as and when they can, and there is nothing wrong with that.
My mother-out-law (not with my DS dad but we are all on amicable terms) took all of us on holiday last Christmas: father-out-law had died in the spring and she wanted her first Christmas without him to be somewhere completely different.

I have friends like this. They are also the people who spend all their time complaining they are broke and can't afford things even though their family income is twice ours along with both sets of parents giving them regular (substantial 10-75k) handouts too. I've come to the conclusion it's not their fault, they don't realise how privalidged they are and so long as they are nice people it ultimately is none of my business and I'm happy they will always be secure. Doesn't stop me chuntering under my breath when they tell everyone they are poor though!!

When i came on here a while back feeling annoyed that my dad hadnt helped me with a mortgage i was shouted down. Tbh it was the fact that he flew at me when i asked him for £20 for fuel ( was after Christmas)

I rekon he has about half a million in savings. Ingerited from his mum.

He can be generous but there are strings attached and emotional blackmail.

When i said helped me i meant i had most of the deposit and he could have lent me an extra 5 grand but he didnt. Just told me that noone can afford to buy houses nowadays.

I'm quite reading this thread. I left home at 17 and haven't had any parental help in the form of childcare or money since I left home. I had no idea adults with families if their own get help like this. I know that some people get help with weddings or house deposits but not in ways people here are talking about. I don't think anyone I know gets help like that. A cheque for 120000 just blew my mind. I'd feel like I won the lotto!

My parents are by no means rich but they're fairly young, both work FT and have a very minimal mortgage. They've helped us with things like unexpected car repairs and my M

The only time l received help from dps after college 35 years ago was for our wedding when they surprised me with a nice sum they had put aside. My dhs parents loaned him money for business a few times and he paid back.
In 1980 l had a friend whose df gave her an allowance every month although she had a good job and no one else had money. So its nothing new.

Yes always surprises me.
We have had nothing. In fact we help out my elderly in laws.

My parents supported me through my education and no more. It was the same for DH. Everything we have, we have earned although you could argue that what we have achieved is in part because of said education. The rest is down to motivation and hard work.

At my DC school about 20% of pupils in their respective years have their fees paid for by GP and 2 families have had their homes bought for them. I do wonder of these kids will have the same drive as their GP.

Well if most adults get financial help from their parents then I must be in a tiny minority, despite my parents being very comfortable financially I never received anything other than bday/xmas presents and even then the most expensive gift I ever had was a new bike at 14 which I'm guessing cost about £75.

I don't think most people do. I think this is a certain demographic.

My parents help me out now and then. They aren't rich but are very very comfortable. I work full time, live alone and pay all my own bills. This doesn't leave me a lot of money for treats and things so every now and then my mum will slip me £100 (maybe 3 times a year) and say 'get yourself something nice'. Or i'll pick my dad up to do a food shop together and at the till he'll say 'i'll get it love'. They know i manage my money well and have no debts, but like to treat me.

They have paid for 'big' things such as buying me a fridge freezer and a washer when i moved out, paid for my first car.

They also spoil me rotten at birthday / xmas. I have said before that i'm fine and have enough money for day to day and they basically said what's the point in seeing you struggle when we have money in the bank? Which does make sense.

I'm very grateful and would never expect anything though.

Oh and to add, most of my friends get no help with cash (that i know of) but do get help with childcare which adds up to thousands.

I once had a massive row with a friend when she called me a spoilt cow because i mentioned my mum had taken me out for lunch and a bit of shopping. The look on her face when i pointed out her parents paid for her wedding and gave her a house deposit........they now look after her daugher 2 days a week.... she had conveniently forgotten about that help

I had some financial help with university, on top of student loan.
No help with house deposit or car buying. Likewise with holidays.
Some help with infrequent large purchases, total less than £4000.
Other smaller gifts on a semi frequent basis; clothes, things for DC.

DH gets no financial support at all.

I thought we got more than most! Maybe not!

I get help from my Dad, we've never asked for it but it came after my lovely mum died and we received an inheritance, my Dad has done well for himself and worked hard, he is now in the unfortunate position of retiring on his own and he genuinely doesn't know what to do with his money, it makes me incredibly sad to think that he should be retiring with mum but isn't, so he likes to help us out (and his grandchildren) which eases his pain a little I guess, like I said, we've never asked for it but he won't take no for an answer, he is truly the best man I've ever known, I just wish he was using the money wth mum instead