To be shocked that so many people get supported financially by parents in adulthood?

[LittleLucyLuce]

Nearly everyone that I know that has an extravagant lifestyle comes from a background where there is family money and gets supported financially by their parents as an adult.

One woman that I know, who is married with children, gets a monthly allowance from her father to buy clothes, hair extensions, get her nails done etc, and her father pays for 2 foreign holidays per year for them.

Another couple got their house bought for them by his parents, and her parents pay for their holidays, school fees for the kids, and anything that the kids need such as shoes, clothes, or toys.

These are just two of the examples of people that I know get money from parents. I don't come from a background of family money at all, but it seems that I'm in the minority.

I think i feel resentful as my dad inherited half a million, i was just in reachnof a house deposit and he cheerfully said " no one can afford a house nowadays". Just 5 grand would have helped me get on the ladder. He still gaslights me about what he said.

All the while he has watched me struggle as i work my arse off on liw paid zero hour contracts ( teacher/ ta) and blames me whilst he votes for the tories who have completely ruined teaching. I give up. Ad far as hes concerned its because im not working hard enough.

He actually had a proper tantrum with stamping feet when he heard my last job wasnt permanent.

I think it's worth remembering that many people of this generation are comfortable because they did live within their means. There wasn't the credit available that there is now. If you wanted something you had to work hard, save & pay for it up front. Sacrifices were made & that's why many of this generation have financial security.

Here we go... if only you people worked hard enough and didn't have a credit card and a phone and all those coffees you would by now own a four-bedroom detached house in the SE, have a final salary pension scheme and be able to retire in your 50s, all on one salary.

Elvira see also "hard earned money" when a lot of it is built on house price inflation

If only 30-somethings had had the careful financial planning and work ethic to buy property five years before they were born.

My friend told me her parenty ate only corned beef sandwiches for years tompay for their house!!! Bit tongue in cheek. Id rather rent than eat corned beef tbh! Pass the Costa and avocado toast please!

Typos... aggggr! Should read " parents".

"I think it's worth remembering that many people of this generation are comfortable because they did live within their means."

That's what my FIL used to say. Completely forgetful of the fact that his generous pension scheme was funded by two London houses inherited by his wife's father.

And fwiw living on the never-never was a well established way of life in working class families of earlier generations.

In many cultures it would be unusual not to live intergenerationally, in terms of resources and support.

In the U.K. Many working class families still live like that. Often not physically in the same house, but close by. Helping each other. Perfectly normal.

I find it odd that so many middle class people, with comfortable lives don't help their DC just because they've reached 18.

I don't know of anyone who receives an allowance from their parents to pay for fripperies , I know a few who have had sizeable cash gifts or interest free loans .
I have had odd payday loans from my parents for under a £100 (which I paid back) when I was a single parent and really struggling . They also paid for my car to be MOTed and insured when I was a single parent and a full-time student , I paid for my rent , bills and food , petrol etc out of my bursary , not entitled to any benefits other than child benefit . They spent 10's of thousands putting DB through uni and helping him out once he left .
I fully expect to receive no inheritance , I imagine my Mother will write me out of her will over some perceived slight at some point in the future . DH also doesn't expect to inherit . Both sets of parents are mortgage free and on very generous final salary pensions .

Here we go... if only you people worked hard enough and didn't have a credit card and a phone and all those coffees you would by now own a four-bedroom detached house in the SE, have a final salary pension scheme and be able to retire in your 50s, all on one salary.

Yes.

And it's fine to come out with shit like that, but bad manners and offensive to cite the irrefutable fact that property was cheaper relative to earnings a couple of decades back. Honestly, it's such a logic fail to assume that when people point out that massive equity rises are unearned, they're saying people didn't work hard to pay off the borrowed capital. I wouldn't mind, but it's not just boomers who come out with this shit. You also get people being offended on their behalf.

My in laws pay for us to go on holiday every year, it's the best thing ever. They do it because they can afford to and it gives them a huge amount of pleasure knowing their DGCs have a brilliant time. We are all extremely grateful and the DCs always are appreciative.

On my and DHs birthdays we always take our parents out for a meal and we pay. Not in the league of paying for a holiday but the sentiment is exactly the same.

I really appreciate all the help we get from our parents and we all benefit in one way or another. I will be exactly the same when the DCs grow up.

I like what you say, getahaircut! It makes perfect sense that the generations in a family should help each other out. Not just financially, either but in supportive, productive ways. As long as everyone over the age of 5 pulls their weight, even if it's just to make your own bed, get yourself dressed, washed and combed/brushed and have the table set before meals (5 yr old tasks), it could work beautifully.

Hmm... I detect a faint whiff of Downton...

Just realised how bitter my post makes me sound , in all honesty I would rather they spend it enjoying themselves , I don't expect it and therefore won't be disappointed if there is nothing left to inherit

I find it odd that so many middle class people, with comfortable lives don't help their DC just because they've reached 18.

Completely agree with all of your post Carl, and I wonder if the above could be contributing to the collapse of (the more vulnerable part of) the middle class and the widening social divide.

The attitude of "you're 18, out the door" is a very very wierd one, historically and geographically speaking. In most of the world, and for most of human history, 18 year olds are not free agents to go as they please and set up their own home. This isn't "normal", it's a postwar aberration.

(Now, of course remaining so close to family has its massive downsides too, as most of the "support" work is unpaid and unappreciated and done by women, and it would be hell on earth in an abusive situation.)

My grandfather used to say that he would rather see us enjoy what money he could give us now, as there are no pockets in a shroud, and the tax man gets plenty.