My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Who's Sharon?!

Well, have you actually called anyone?

I've asked my friend to bring a charger! she will be at least 40 minutes though. We will discuss ringing the police when she gets here if she can't get me out.

Ok so I've seen your comment that you live 3 miles from your neighbours and couldn't wait, however it still seems strange that whilst they were rushing about you settled yourself in their bathroom for a long poo.

I hope their toothbrushes and other toiletries they might have needed to get at weren't in the bathroom with you!

So is there not a landline OP??

What kind of scone was it?

I'd totally not mind being locked in someone's house for a home made cheese scone with chutney on it

I just need to post this for amusement value again:

Lets cut to the chase. Do you have a JustGiving account we could donate to?

Oh dear! This would sooo happen to me!!

Is there a land line?

They must have been prune scones.

Who has a poo in someone else's house if they can possibly avoid it?

Someone asked if they could have posted their keys through your letterbox. Do your neighbours know where you live and might they have done that? Is there someone at home that your friend can check with?

You don't hear any buzzing when you go near the doors or windows, do you?

If so, I'd take especial care!

My own mother forgot an open window when she last went on holiday.
I can imagine her forgetting someone was in her loo.

At least you'd have been able to escape from her house.

Just hope they're not heading to Maui.

But, is there a landline? Have you looked at the numbers on the handset?

Who has a poo in someone else's house if they can possibly avoid it

Turn it around. Who wouldn't go for a poo when they need to if they are int he same building as a useable toilet? The OP is 3 miles from home, by bike and needed a poo. Why wouldn't she go?

The scones were laced with strong laxatives and scary shite is about to go down...................

How are you pronouncing scone?

And what toppings were available?

On the off chance that this is genuine.

Phone the police and tell them you are being held against your will
They will come and break the door down for you.
You might need to pay to have it boarded up.
Reclaim money from neighbours.

Or ring a locksmith and get them to sort it out.
Although that seems legally dubious, changing the locks without the permission of the house/door owner.

Enough of the troll-hunting. This thread is amusing.

They were already packed ready! They were getting their cases downstairs and looking round getting the last bits together!! No one packs for a holiday an hour before the coach is due to leave ffs. They were bickering over a blouse left in the dryer that was still piss wet through and the bloke packed it in the case getting everything damp! 1% bye for now folks

What house has no openable windows to climb out through?