My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Yup, I think Mumsnet is finally heading to the dogs if this passes as 'best thread ever'.

Fuckin' Hell, I actually think I'm too old for this shite now.

wtf is going on with MN these last few days??
its like theres been an explosion in a glue factory releasing a hell of a lot of fumes, either that or its the start of a fucking zombie apocalypse

The lesson to learn is always shit at home.

I can't believe all you naysayers. I mean, come on, who hasn't got locked in a stranger's house after beingasked to feed their fish!? It happened to me only last week. Twice.

Are you in the squatting position because you're taking the piss? 😂

You might need to pay to have it boarded up.

Or ring a locksmith and get them to sort it out.
Although that seems legally dubious, changing the locks without the permission of the house/door owner.

Totally the owners' problem. Not the OP. They forgot she was in there.

Op, are you in my house? I made scones this afternoon although the alarm isn't set, we have no fish and the teenagers and dogs haven't noticed you.

How could they forget you were in their house and lock you in?! Crazy!

This is why I don't let people poo in my house! I might forget they're up there

I hope it's a battery pack charger your friend is posting you or you'll be using their electricity as well

There's a frightening theft of utilities on MN today.!

Tricky!

Little old dear on coach currently - Do you think we've forgotten something dear?
Little old man - Umm......... Nope.... We have everything.

OP we will organise a mumsnet rescue party to bring phone charger,fish food and scones (not really but I am loving this thread,true or not)

idohaveaname im crying at your comment

Damn we should've got the address in case friend has an accident on the way over

envelope might be in the bike basket?

Apologies if this has already been asked and I've missed it but...

Have you dialled 101, or was your only thought on being locked inside someone else's house, to log into Mumsnet, change your nickname and start a thread?

Let's hope your friend doesn't forget too...

What kind of door doesn't let you unlock it and walk out? Or is it you don't want to set the alarm off and be stuck with a door you can't re-lock?

OP must be shitting herself by now. Oops sorry forgot she's already done that.

They are keeping her as their house slave...

Have you found the fish food yet?

Wish friend would hurry up with the charger.

FixItUp - the kind of door that, when locked, needs a key to unlock it from the inside.

Like my door and quite a few other people's on this thread.