My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Ask your pal to see if they posted the keys at yours

Are we invaded again?

Our old house was a back to back. There was no back door and no patio door. There was only one door to the outside, so maybe this house is like this?

Not all houses have patio doors and plenty of doors need keys to be opened from both the inside as well as the outside if they are locked.

I stayed in a holiday home recently where you could lock every single door and window and it had one set of keys with every key for every lock on it. So if someone went out with the keys and someone was at home there was no way for them to get out if everything had been locked up.

Just ring the police.

I couldn't do a poo in some random neighbours house

Were you ages in there OP?

🙈

This is so bizarre but I'm totes placemarking

Does your friend have a key to your house? I wonder did the neighbours post their keys through your letterbox

Help yourself to a fray bentos pie - but be sure to leave the tinned potatoes.

You had a poo in their house!

Couldn't you have waited till you got home??

You'll have to ring the police ... so you didn't know them before except for passing on your bike and they were trusting you to look after the fish ... how long are they going for? Thought fish were okay for days/a week or two. Surely one window in the house isn't just a small one

Mumsnet is fucking weird sometimes.

You have awfully trusting neighbours OP or a trustworthy face.

Couldn't you have waited till you got home??

Why?

No way... You'll have to call the police about this

Your best bet would be to try and phone the coach company.

If they are elderly and don't have mobiles they must have a landline surely?

Have a nosey for a holiday brochure if you don't know the company.

My house needs a key from the inside to unlock it too.

Total bollocks.

You don't poo in somebody else's house when you leave next door.

live

Couldn't you have waited till you got home??

So she's good enough to look after their goldfish but not to take a dump in their home??

Cigs in the basket? You can't get out, would you have started smoking in their house if you did have your fags on you? All kinds of bizarre.

Why would anybody take their bike round to their neighbours, sit for three hours eating scones and then have a poo which takes so long the scone rich neighbours manage to leave the house?

Didn't happen and if the op was hoping for classics and loads of lols they need to try a lot, lot harder.

Does the alarm have an SOS button?

They were ready for the off and that's when I said I would quickly call to the loo as it's a 3 mile bike ride back to my house and I had a belly ache situation that I feared wouldn't wait!! The alarm says SET but it must be pretty shit as the sensors aren't picking up my frantic waving in front of them not that anyone would hear it anyway. The casing is yellow so I'm guessing it's an old system. They said the code was in the envelope with the key but there's no envelope anywhere! I'm not a stranger exactly I have had quite a few encounters with them with friendly chat over the gate when they first asked me when the bins were to be put out as I was riding down the lane past their house a few months ago. I offered to pick up a few grocerys from the village so I suppose I was the only one in the area for them to trust.

I think I believe it.

Because I want to

It's link a Carry On film 🎥