My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

This was stupendous!!

Well that made me laugh. Thanks Op but sorry at the same time.

So sadly your friend wasn't a master house breaker then!

I once walked 300m to the local shop for milk as was desperate for coffee. I took newborn ds because (now X) DP was being a cock and wouldn't get up and was telling me not to leave him in cot in case he cried
We had a door that could only be opened with a key once closed.
I forgot my keys but when we got back and buzzed and buzzed DP didn't get up answer door.
I rang him over and over as well.
Eventually I flagged down some passing guardia civil and asked them to help me get in.
Unfortunately I wasn't fluent in Spanish like DP who decided to tell them I'd gone out Ina strop and he didn't realise it was me buzzing as he assumed I had my keys and ignored my calls assuming they were because I was cross and to tell him I'd gone to a friend or something.
Both DP and my face were like this ----> when the younger of the 2 guys piped up in fluent English that perhaps DP should have been out of bed before midday and take some responsibility!

Since then I've only ever had locks you have to physically close with a key!

My own ridiculous situation is that many years ago I lived in an upstairs flat and one of my friends called round to drop something off, I nipped outside to see his oh and their newborn for him to shut the door behind us with my keys still upstairs. So, barefoot, I had to climb in to his car, drive to their house, fetch a fecking ladder and he had to go in through my upstairs window. Ffs.

Sitting on the drier after smoking fags through the window. Last thing on my mind would have been flat pack furniture.
Micro chips and a pot noodle too...
Are you a bored 15 yr old on school hols by any chance?

mn are being very slow at deleting the spam.

Whether it happened or not it is mildly amusing just the same.

Having had similar happen in this house, the locks were changed to only lock from OUTSIDE (front door and porch doors), thumb turns on the inside, so we can get out quickly in an emergency.

I think that is the way to go now, but then we wouldn't have threads like this.

I have another story involving the back gate slamming, keys inside and Postman Pat to the rescue, but will leave it at that for now.

So if you got the window open to smoke out of it why didn't you climb out?

No I'm not 15 years old although I did forget to check the packaging for age limit for consuming instant noodles

Can we all keep in mind that when she said help yourself that

1. All I've had all day to eat is 3 scones
2. I aren't up to putting a fucking roast chicken dinner in when there's a kettle and a microwave and magic food that is made in minutes!

In reply to your confusion about the distance yes we are very rural! Lots of sheep and cattle grids in and out of town. Ok so they aren't technically neighbours but there's maybe 50 people within an hours drive from my house so we generally refer to us being neighbors. What else should I generally refer to them as?

@thecolonelbumminganugget

it's this sort of survival instinct that turned my thoughts to marrying him

I don't know why, but this really tickled me. Thank you.

Ilovebanff

They closed up 15 mins early and didn't properly check the store was empty. He was with 2 friends, it's baffling really. They went to pay at the till then realised everyone had gone home. I can't imagine how much of a bollocking someone got for that.

Op you know this was all a cunning ploy to get someone to build their flatpack furniture for free.
Well played, June. Well played.

Maybe it's a small window ffs

Can someone confirm whether:

A) This seems like a real or fake thread?

and B) Whether it's amusing/bonkers/entertaining enough to warrant wading through 19 pages and rising?

I am prepared to read through it all if it's classic like the Korean Lady or the more recent Holiday from Hell but a surprise Mumsnet meet up halfway through but it's got to be on that level if I'm going to make this commitment.

OP did say that she could open the window but wouldn't fit through it.

I'm assuming she was able to stick her head out but the rest of her would have got stuck.

Anyway, true or not it's amused me for quite a while.

Mission

A.) it's real ... or possibly fake
B.) Yes

Are you out yet OP??

Mission

In that case I shall revise my answer to B.) it's no EKL

Squatting your same as me . My neighbour is 3 miles up the road . When u live rural it's normal to call them neighbours when they live miles away . Technically they ARE neighbours . You don't have to be attached to be neighbours

Mission:

A) I couldn't possibly say
B) No