My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

Sparkletastic, you've said what I was thinking. Are there any tinned potatoes to go with the Fray Bentos pie?

This is a story that could end up on lad bible

I don't get it...why would you update mn but not call 101?

Hope friend has arrived now

Any Fray Bentos in the larder?

Tbh it's not that much of a stretch of the imagination that this could have happened (maybe the poo bit tips it over the edge though).

I once agreed to feed a friends cats whilst she was away, went to hers to collect the key and ended up chatting for so long I completely forgot to actually take the keys home with me and she didn't notice either. I realised after ransacking my bag/car/house for them the day after she went, I had all these images or poor starving cats or a huge locksmiths bill running through my head but then common sense overrode and I text her confessing all, she thought it was funny and told me her mum had a spare set of keys so just had a 150 mile round trip to collect them and all was well

It does sound very far-fatched... but to posters questioning why you'd come onto MN at this time - I would! Access to a whole bunch of people who come up with different ideas you may not have thought of, some with knowledge of any legal implications (although false imprisonment surely worse than changing locks/breaking something?!), and some laughs in a grim situation...

I think the neighbours will realise at some point and phone their home. (If this is true!) If they don't, however you get out... go back when they're due home, looking dishevelled and wild-eyed, and pretend you've been locked in the whole time.

How many fish?

Husband and I got locked in a circus museum in America. Luckily the outdoor bit, so managed to climb through a fence.

I don't get the Fray Bentos pie thing -is it a 'thing ' now?

I've never had a Fray Bentos pie, but I have been to Fray Bentos. It's in Uruguay.

AIBU to ask what Fray Bentos are?!

Actually, I can see how this could happen. Mr and Mrs Elder pottering around doing the last bits before they set off. Ms Biker comes over to collect the keys.

Ms Biker says she's going to the loo.

The Elders are suddenly aware that they are running out of time, they've spent too much time chatting and sharing bakery products with Ms Biker. Who is taking a looooooong time in the loo.

They call up the stairs that they are off and for Ms Biker to see herself out. Ms Biker doesn't hear. Mr. Elder leaves the spare set of keys on the table. Mrs.Elder, without thinking, scoops the keys up on her way past because they never leave keys out and it's second nature to grab them.

Mr Elder locks up with his keys. They get in the car and go. Ms Biker comes downstairs to find herself locked in.

Another thread going on. A poster came home from work early and saw her neighbour (who has her house keys and is cutting back on their food shopping at the moment) sat in her lounge, eating one of her pies

Fray Bentos are tinned pies. They are often found in older peoples kitchen cupboards

Zebra, there's another thread running about a neighbour letting themselves in and eating a Fray Bentos pie.

Oh my god I've heard it all now! You've never heard of a Fray Bentos pie?! Man, you haven't lived.

dragon - they sound horrendous!! 😂

The Fray Bentos reference is from the "WWYD - cheeky neighbour" thread.
Title may not be quite right but it's in AIBU - also one of the trending ones I think?

It's awesome for the replies

MissBax yabu

Can't you just climb out of a window?

Actually something similar happened to my mum's gardener a few weeks ago. She had a guest statying and reminded them at breakfast not to double lock the porch door when they went out later in the day because the gardener was there and you can't unlock the door from inside once it's double locked. They forgot...

When she turned her phone on at lunchtime at work, she had several missed calls and panicking messages from the housebound neighbour he gardens for in the afternoon saying he hadn't turned up, he was over an hour late, and his van was still parked outside my mum's house. My mum rang him several times but it went straight to voicemail. She was on the verge of calling the police to break in because the gardener had a heart attack a few years ago and they all thought he might be lying unconscious in her garden, when he finally turned up at the neighbour's doorstep.

Turns out his phone had run out of power, he'd spent an hour trying to raise my mum's other elderly neighbour who was sleeping but she couldn't get her back door open to let him in. Luckily my mum has a key safe in the porch so he was able to open the balcony door on the first floor, clamber down and let himself back in to lock up.

The same gardener also saved my late father from a mistaken police drugs raid many years ago. Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction...

Take the fish with you when you get out. Saves time playing burglary (sp) to feed the damn thing.

The friend will be posting on here with hilarious updates in about 10 minutes...

Or is that technically fishnapping?

Although coffee can have laxative effects, the sudden poo and the OP's screen name are a bit 🙃

Just when you think you've heard it all 😂