My neighbours are thick as fuck! I'm stuck in their house!

[squattingposition]

I can't even understood what's happened!! They've locked me in their house and set the alarm! What the fuck do I do now ???

🚪🔑🛎

You can't get out of my doors without a key, one deadlock and two plastic types. In theory you should be able to lock the windows shut too though I have no idea which key is which so can't be arsed, but that bit is plausible.

There are loads of doors that can be locked and require a key to get out. OP doesn't have a key.

What kind of door doesn't let you unlock it and walk out

Mine for starters, both front and back. You physically need a key.

Any chance you catastrophically misunderstood what you were agreeing to and they actually wanted to you to be there 24/7? Maybe they are particularly sensitive fish?
Bit extreme locking you in though. TABU.

Blatant placemark

Shamelessly place marking

Anecdoche
You forgot the most important option on your poll:

Option F - prat about posting on Mumsnet until your phone dies.

This thread is hysterical.

No one buys scones before going on holiday.

When I go away, I give my fish a special food thing that lasts for a week or so.

Sue. Clear case of wrongful imprisonment.

You lock both my doors from either inside or out with an actual key. Then there's dead locks on both and chains old house v old doors cba replacing

I'd of locked you in my house if you came over drank all the coffee and ate all the scones then went for a big ol poop lol

Where are they keys they were leaving for you? I can't believe they'd leave the house and forget you're still there and take the set of keys with them?! This is too bizarre for words.

Is it the case that if you open the door the alarm will go off? Just do it. They can cope with the results.

Is it my Mum & Dad?

I have once locked my dh into the house. I absent-mindedly deadlocked the front door - the type is that if it is deadlocked from the outside it can only be unlocked from the outside and if it is deadlocked from the inside it can only be unlocked from the inside, so even with a key he would be stuck, but he was happy to just wait for my return.

She can't open the door oh ffs.

If my doors were locked from the outside and keys removed I couldn't get out either it's not that unusual.

Cannot imagine posting on here with only 8% left on phone...

I'd definitely be looking for the wine in this situation

What sort of fish are they?

Have they got any Fray Bentos pies you can have?

Post pics of the door and we'll believe ya.

Maybe you'll get lucky and their window cleaners come by sometime next week. They'd only be mildly startled if you asked them nicely if you could use their ladder to climb out an upstairs window to make your escape....

A window lock should be reasonably easy to break by force?

ulmie the same happened to me - my housemates dad can round, didn't realise I was in (on 3rd floor) and locked the door when he left. Only openable from the outside.

I had to flag down a passer by and throw my keys out the window. Felt like Rapunzel lol