AIBU to think it's OK to be a crap feminist?

[Moussemoose]

Inspired by another thread.

I am a feminist but:

I am a feminist and I want to control my own vagina BUT I want that fanny waxed.

I am a feminist but I luuurrrvve reading shit romance novels.......

OK over to you

Aren't feminists supposed to lack a sense of humour?

I am a crap feminist because sometimes I can't take all the heavy posturing and scolding seriously. I'm a crap vegetarian and environmentalist for the same reason.

I'm a feminist, but I'm really enjoying being a SAHM to DS and I really don't feel the need to rush back to work.

That said, I fail to see how the chronic undervaluing of what has been traditionally considered 'women's work' in favour of propping up a capitalist system based on patriarchal values is particularly feminist. [Hoicks extremely well supported bosom]

Have I misunderstood? Is this satire, in the trope of the "man who has it all" thing on FB and twitter. I would heartily recommend following the very funny/witty and clever women posting over there.....

But the things listed aren't being a 'bad feminist.' I'm a radical feminist but I'm also a SAHM who shaves my legs and wears make up - and has a sense of humour!

This doesn't make me a 'bad feminist' and I'd hate to see people perpetuate the stereotype of feminists as angry hairy joyless truckers who judge other women.
It's just not true and not helpful.

Spudlet ohhh get you and your 'patriarchal values'.

We only want to know if you wax your fanny.

(For the avoidance of all doubt this is an attempt at humour, I am mocking myself, if any one is sad enough to look up my posts I can out capitalist oppressors the lot of you)

Are you judging us?
I'm a fabulous feminist because I have never been a SAHM, despite having children, only shave my pits and nowhere else, don't dye my hair, don't wear dresses, don't do wife work, have always been financially independent...I'm overwhelmed by my right-on credentials.

Mousse A lady never tells...

Tried it once, it looked like I'd been given a good kicking by tiny people in hobnail boots

No Moose, I never have. Nor have I ever watched porn.
Now I'm grumpy, and I'm disappointed this thread has been corrected and realigned along The Correct Channels. Bloody Dementors again.

---

I'm a feminist but I can't be doing with 90% of females.
I'm a feminist but I have no respect for SAHM.
I'm a feminist but I access porn - including subscription sites for high quality content. And my OH does too. And shock horror neither of us feels threatened by this.

...I'm not really a feminist. God forbid. I'm a female who works in a male dominated business, but call me a feminist and I'd take it as an insult.

Spudlet

Mousse A lady never tells..

WTF - your a lady now!!

No way cash you be a feminist if you are a lady.

TheSolitaryBoojum cheer yourself up by deciding what the least feminist partronus is. Mine is a pussy.

Mmmm oppressed sex

Interesting/telling/depressing that the examples given of crap manliness were men doing stereotypically feminine things or not doing stereotypically masculine things. Just like the examples of women being crap feminists.

@WilheminaFloyd That's the point of the thread though, isn't it? How ridiculous these stereotypes are?

I am a feminist but

I've been a SAHM for 37 years (my choice) and love cooking, growing vegetables and home making. Now loving being an active Grandmother. I have loved my life and think it's a perfectly valid choice if it suits the partnership.

lol @ Patronus joke.

I'm a failed feminist b/c I think male & female inherently tend to be different. The different hormone mixes do different things to our brains. This is biological.

I suppose to me a crap man would be one who doesn't face up to responsibilities. Rather like any crap adult, really.

I can't be arsed to think so hard about whether women are victims of social conditioning or are at constant risk of being overpowered, much less feel obliged to make those things into my problem, even much less find the tolerance to listen to anyone drone on about it.

I can't be arsed to think so hard about whether women are victims of social conditioning or are at constant risk of being overpowered, much less feel obliged to make those things into my problem, even much less find the tolerance to listen to anyone drone on about it.

Yet you linked to a thread about it to direct others towards it. Good for you if you don't care about it, for many women and girls it's quite an important issue.

@peachgreen well yes the point is to highlight how silly the stereotype of a feminist is, that there is no blueprint for a feminist yet some people have this restrictive view of feminists. But I still thought it was interesting to note that people, myself included, gave examples that were essentially "I believe in equality/feminism but I also do this stereotypically feminine thing which some people might think is anti-feminist such as taking time out of my career to raise small children or enjoying domesticity and dresses."

We all know that there are certain pursuits and characteristics that are considered to be particularly feminine or masculine in nature. Most feminists seek to dismantle the idea that certain things are inherently feminine or masculine, arguing that this is socialisation. However, whilst I'm not refuting that we should fight sexist stereotyping because it's damaging and limiting, it seems a bit sad to me that many of the things listed as joke "crap feminism" are things that have traditionally been considered feminine such as the above examples. Romance novels, sewing, caring for children, just to name a few; they all have a part in women's history. Yes, women were restricted to those things, that's obviously bad, but I think to think of those things as intrinsically less feminist than say reading adventure novels, doing DIY and earning a wage is a shame. Whilst acknowledging and hating the patriarchy, I still feel I could unashamedly enjoy and take pride in being a SAHM, doing embroidery and baking cakes, sometimes precisely because in keeping some traditionally feminine pursuits going I feel a link with my foremothers, for want of a better word. I don't think everyone trying to ditch stereotypically feminine pursuits is a 'win' for feminism, personally. Celebrating them, valuing them and encouraging both sexes into them would feel like a 'win' for me.

I said I was a failed feminist, didn't I? I am not (wanted) in your club.

lljkk I want you in the crap feminist club.

"Celebrating them, valuing them and encouraging both sexes into them would feel like a 'win' for me" WilheminaFloyd or we could laugh at them?

ˈsatʌɪə/Submit
noun
the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

@WilheminaFloyd I see what you're saying - I certainly wasn't belittling the things I mentioned though, either for me or for DH - quite the opposite. I agree that traditionally feminine hobbies / pursuits deserve celebration and should be embraced by all who choose to partake.

I am a bad feminist because I am a liberal feminist. This makes my feminism "pointless" and cannot be condoned by good feminists. I don't care though. I will continue to do what I do with the other liberal feminists I work with in RL to make women's lives better.

DioneTheDiabolist

Which one of us is the worst feminist? Your a liberal and I am crap. lljkk has failed.

@Moussemousse nope, I understand irony but thanks for that. I get that everyone is joking and nobody actually thinks they are a crap feminist because they hate spiders . I just thought it was interesting and dare I say, ironic, that whilst we all make jokes about how we are feminists even though we like shoes, because haha we all know that you don't have to be stereotypically unfeminine to be a feminist, the real irony is that our stereotypical perception of what is and isn't feminist is based on feminists eschewing anything traditionally feminine in favour of "neutrality" that is actually stereotypically masculine. That feminism in its present guise often seeks to erase the traditionally feminine things. It was just a tangent.