AIBU to think it's OK to be a crap feminist?

[Moussemoose]

Inspired by another thread.

I am a feminist but:

I am a feminist and I want to control my own vagina BUT I want that fanny waxed.

I am a feminist but I luuurrrvve reading shit romance novels.......

OK over to you

I'm reminded of a few years back at work, two (very highly respected, good friends of mine) female colleagues going all gooey over a really good-looking job applicant and making lots of comments about it. Made me feel quite uncomfortable as both are ardent feminists and it felt like a double standard! Appreciating someone is good-looking is one thing. Ogling them in public not so good?

I'm a feminist but can't be a fully fledged one.

As....I've hidden the feminist topic because it annoyed me so much.

@Mumof56 Absolute crap. I adore wearing make-up. Applying it is like therapy - I find it so relaxing. It's creative and it is self-care for me. I couldn't give a monkeys what my DH thinks - or any other man - I do it for me and me alone.

Hair removal is slightly different for me in that while some hair I remove because it feels better for me in terms of sensation / hygiene, I do agree that societal pressure to remove leg hair definitely influences that particular choice. But I am aware of that influence - I'm not doing it 'unthinkingly'.

Please don't assume that because I wear make-up I'm some kind of brainless idiot who doesn't understand the concept of the patriarchy and is blindly following societal norms without question. How utterly patronising.

I'm a SAHM who loves Jane Austen and Doris Day, enjoys baking and cooking, wears dresses and make-up, loathes driving and won't catch spiders. But those are just some aspects of my personality- I also care passionately about equality and women's rights. I suspect I am more of a secondwave feminist though, despite being in my early thirties. I was a lot more liberal before but since having a child I feel that motherhood, and how devalued that is, is the greatest barrier to equality and my main feminist concern. I would recommend Vanessa Olerenshaw's Liberating Motherhood to anyone interested in this.

I am a bad feminist because being called Love and Darlin' doesn't bother me.

@peachgreen

I used to think like you but then I was educated by feminists in another thread.

@Mumof56 Ah, you're one of those. That explains it.

All I can say is that you don't respect my right to make my own personal, educated choice, you are no different to a man believing he should have a say about whether or not I should wear make-up. I ignore their opinions, too.

I'm a bad feminist because I can't shake the idea the I should try and look attractive. I don't look attractive and do very very little to attempt to look more attractive, but I just can't quite stop wishing I did look attractive.

I do penance for this by not shaving anywhere, and flaunting my perfectly normal adult female body hair at the swimming pool on a weekly basis.

I wish I was a better feminist but toxic masculinity innit.

Jane Austen is a massive feminist. Seriously, that's like saying "I'm a feminist, but I enjoy Mary Wollstonecraft". WHAAAA?

I'm a feminist but also a perfectly content sahm.

I don't particularly want 'it all'. Looks like far too much hard work! I fully believe everyone, men and women should have equal opportunity to pursue this if they want to.

I have no problem with doing the lions share of house work and child care as that is my share of the load in our partnership. I don't earn my own money but always have enough money in my pocket to be comfortable.

I like make up, and heels, and outfits that dp likes on me, because seeing him happy makes me happy. And because I fancy the pants off him I quite like being the object of his desire! (that doesn't boil down to a pair of tits and nice legs though so I suppose its subtly different)

I also like science, electronics (built a robot a few years ago) lots of geeky games, comics where the women are drawn powerfully instead of submissively and various activities that involve getting very muddy. Also have a tendency to think boys toys are loads better than girls toys.

I challenge misogyny whenever I see it and have changed a few people's pov irl with reasoned debate.

I don't think all men are rapey and entitled.

You don't have to be a brainless idiot to be swayed by societal norms though! You have to be very odd and a total outlier from humanity not to be so swayed.

Why do people assume it is such a terrible insult to say someone is responding to peer pressure? It is the normal day to day behaviour of almost everyone on the planet to be massively swayed by peer pressure.

I'm a feminist but I haven't made an effort to be good at maths to prove the sexist stereotypes wrong. (I fool myself into thinking that my friends who are good at maths have that covered, but it doesn't work like that, does it?)

I'm a feminist but haven't made the effort to learn how to kill a man with my bare hands, or really, even basic self-defense.

In short, I am a very lazy feminist.

vestal I can bring the maths if you will learn some self-defence?

Is this thread about to become grim and humourless? That's a shame, there are lots of other threads where you can throw mud pies at each other and snipe.
I'm trying to think of other examples of my bad feminist credentials.

I'm a Feminist but my favourite colours pink. I use sex as a bargaining tool . As much as I try and change it, I refer to everything as 'he' as default. As in looking at 'oh don't worry about that wasp, he's more afraid of you'.

Oh good, back on track.
I like baking, but I also like eating my baking and thus am increasingly moving towards the fat, jolly grandmother type. I'm looking forward to retirement with undisguised delight.

red ah yes...I keep referring to bees in the garden as 'he' even though that's one of the few cases you could go in great confidence with 'she'.

I'm a crap feminist because spider eviction is a boy job in my house.

Oh I'm a great feminist then because spider eviction is my job

Another reason I'm anot apparent bad feminist is that I love sex, particularly anal sex.

As long as someone on thread can add up that would be good. I can't.

I can do self defense although I would have to be really mad to kill a man with only my bare hands.

Spider eviction (and protection from death) is my job.

Anything to do with flies and slugs however is quite firmly in dp's camp.

I'm a feminist but I changed my name on marriage, remove body hair, wear makeup, get DH or ds1 to deal with spiders and slugs, support trans rights, don't think porn should be banned... When I was younger I let other people tell me I wasn't a feminist. I am. No one gets to tell me otherwise (well they can tell me all they like I guess, but I have realised their opinion is just that and I don't have to listen to it, much less agree).

dione that's stereotype breaking though isn't it? Loving anal makes you a good feminist!

Spider eviction is 6yo DD's job...not sure what sort of feminist that makes me...