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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think it's OK to be a crap feminist?

164 replies

Moussemoose · 07/08/2017 10:27

Inspired by another thread.

I am a feminist but:

I am a feminist and I want to control my own vagina BUT I want that fanny waxed.

I am a feminist but I luuurrrvve reading shit romance novels.......

OK over to youWink

OP posts:
Camomila · 07/08/2017 10:36

I am a feminist and I love baking, doing crafts with my toddler, and I go to church most Sundays. I'm largely a SAHM atm.

You couldnt pay me enough to wax my bits though! Ouch Shock

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 07/08/2017 10:38

I'm a feminist but I still sometimes make choices that aren't especially feminist because I'm also, depending which choices we're talking about:
a) a pragmatist
b) vain
c) living in a patriarchal society.

blackberrypickinginaugust · 07/08/2017 10:39

I'm not a feminist.

Moussemoose · 07/08/2017 10:41

blackberrypickinginaugust

That's fine but in the spirit of the thread you really need to confess something to prove you are not a feminist.Wink

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 07/08/2017 10:43

I don't want to learn to drive because I like sitting on my backside while DP chauffeurs me everywhere.

DryIce · 07/08/2017 10:43

Maybe I am a crap feminist for proving the humourless stereotype...

But I do not consider that making compromises in this sexist world makes me a bad feminist. I am a feminist because of my belief in equality of the sexes.

My poor taste in wedding-related reality TV, bad habit of never mowing the lawn and enjoyment of baking muffins is something else entirely!

Cinnamoncookie · 07/08/2017 10:43

I'm a feminist, but I still enjoy visually objectifying good-looking men, even though I think it's wrong that men do it all the time to women.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 07/08/2017 10:43

I'm a feminist, but I also think that if you are presenting as a doormat, others will wipe their feet on you. So instead of whining, stop enabling.
Horrible lack of whatever....

dadadadathatslife · 07/08/2017 10:44

I am a feminist but I didn't breastfeed because I didn't fancy it, I always get my husband to build things around the house, I like to look pretty and well kept, I like a good bra to hold me in...

I'm not a feminist 😂

TheSolitaryBoojum · 07/08/2017 10:45

Oh Cinnamon, I feel we share a vice.

Bemusedandpuzzled · 07/08/2017 10:45

I don't think any of the things here make you a 'crap feminist'. Feminism is an extremely broad church. As I just posted on another thread, if you believe women have the right to vote, to a decent education, and to earn equal pay for equal work, then you're a feminist. Most of those rights are less than 100 years old!

dadadadathatslife · 07/08/2017 10:46

However, I woke full time in a great job and I am financially independent of my husband and could always support myself if he left me/ I left him.

Moussemoose · 07/08/2017 10:47

TheSolitaryBoojum

Oh Cinnamon, I feel we share a vice

Oh dear I have to add to my list and I haven't even got on to sex yetBlush

OP posts:
Pigface1 · 07/08/2017 10:49

Oh I'm an atrocious feminist.

I'm a feminist but I get my fanny and legs waxed... and occasionally have eyelash extensions!!

I'm a feminist but I love make-up and nice clothes and I wear heels at work.

I'm a feminist but I love baking and cooking.

I'm a feminist but I had a big traditional white wedding AND (shudder) took my husband's name BECAUSE (sharp intake of breath) it made him so happy when I said I was thinking about it.

I should be ashamed of myself shouldn't I?

TheSolitaryBoojum · 07/08/2017 10:49

I'm in my late 50s, Bemused. Most of those things have happened in my lifetime. Meanwhile, back to frivolous suggestions.
I enjoy action films with aforesaid buff men. Preferably with swords.

Camomila · 07/08/2017 10:51

I really like superhero films, especially the whole Thor franchise :)

DonaldStott · 07/08/2017 10:52

I am a crap feminist because I expect my husband to do everything DIY around the house. I would not even attempt to paint and I would also never 'do' the bins.

CbeebiesAddict · 07/08/2017 11:16

I am a feminist but I have made non feminist choices such as being 'given away', using 'Mrs' as my title. I also leave insurance etc up to DH (he works in insurance though). Doesn't make me any less of a feminist though :)

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 07/08/2017 11:22

I'm a feminist but would have been horrified if DH hadn't asked my DF's permission before asking me to marry him.

YorkieDorkie · 07/08/2017 11:25

I'm a feminist but I like DH to pay for everything Grin

nikiforov · 07/08/2017 11:26

Isn't the idea of feminism doing what you want with your body?

I'm a crap feminist because I hate my body and can't stand the look of anything but a completely flat chest/body on myself which is unachievable without surgery. I just cannot physically love my appearance until I get surgery.

peachgreen · 07/08/2017 11:50

I'm a feminist AND I absolutely adore make-up, I took my DH's name when I got married, if I could afford it I'd be a SAHM, I NEVER take out the bins, I'm essentially hairless from the neck down, I very rarely wear trousers or jeans, I get my DH to drive me everywhere and I believe the main purpose of my life is to be a good wife and mother.

I say "and" because I don't think any of these stop me from being a feminist in any way! I believe women deserve as many choices as men have, and those are the things that I've chosen.

CadnoDrwg · 07/08/2017 12:04

I am a feminist but I chose to become Mrs Samashusband and asked my Dad to give me away.

I also ask my husband to fix anything that gets broken (Although I strenuously maintain this is because I'm clumsy and he's epic at fixing stuff!)

Goldenphoenix · 07/08/2017 12:09

I am a feminist because i demand equal rights and pay but i expect my husband to cut the grass because it's a blue job and like men to hold open the door for me (that being said i do some diy because husband is shit at it and i do always hold the door open for others of both sexes).

DelphiniumBlue · 07/08/2017 13:03

I am a feminist but I don't like getting dirty and scream when I see spiders/ mice etc. I also tell the men in my house that taking out the bins is a mans job. Also I like DH to chauffeur me whenever possible.
However, I have just decorated 2 rooms single handed.