AIBU to think it's OK to be a crap feminist?

[Moussemoose]

Inspired by another thread.

I am a feminist but:

I am a feminist and I want to control my own vagina BUT I want that fanny waxed.

I am a feminist but I luuurrrvve reading shit romance novels.......

OK over to you

What part of enjoying any sex is anti feminist, it is only anti feminist if you think ONLY men should enjoy sex, or if you think your wants are subservient to yours.

Subservient to theirs, even.

Which is of course, because of misogyny.

All the hobbies for all the people.

alltouchedout
I tried liberated sex but it was crap. I now have oppressed sex - fucking love it

I am a Ms though.

@WilheminaFloyd I'd love to see that thread too - my DH would have a field day. Although his would more be along the lines of "I moisturise every day / enjoyed High School Musical / like designer clothing / show my emotions on a regular basis" etc etc. Toxic masculinity and stereotypical male gender roles are so damaging (and yes, as you say, a result of the patriarchy).

It is Bird. The pink and sparkly clothes for my DDs is a genuine example of something I have been slated for. People like me are the reason manufacturers make, for example, tutus for girls and you can't have a serious job if you wear a tutu.

I am a lost cause, in the last 10 minutes I just let my DD1 go to the shops with my DM, wearing a tutu bearing fairy pirate costume belonging to her cousin, which she refused to take off.

WilheminaFloyd - interesting notion re male equivalent. It would be a list of things one does which fails the accepted norms of being a 'proper' man'?

Okay, Wilhelmina, I'm bad at being a man because I can't do DIY with any proficiency whatsoever. I also hate dealing with dead creatures, and don't know the first thing about how cars or tractors work.

I suppose I'm a bad feminist because I'm a mad. Unless being a gay man makes me a good feminist. As much as the subject interests me, I've always assumed that the FWR board is, ideally, a women-only space.

man, not mad.

I've had a good thunk and I've decided I am a 'pretty good man' to a degree.
I can do DIY, I do sports including lifting weights, I hold open doors (for all), I admire the female form without staring, I like being tallish, I like the sound of my own voice, I do the bins, I like to ride my bike in extreme weather (it's so much machismo), I used to ride motor bikes.

But then lots of women do all of those things. Complex n'est-ce pas?

I like to let the side down by cultivating my garden border at the expense of the lawn, I do moisturise, am a world class shopper, can sing falsetto, can dance and like to dress well. Am such a let down.

I'm a bit depressed by what this thread shows some people think feminism is! How is liking sex or wearing bras unfeminist? If I didn't wear a bra, I wouldn't be able to run without serious pain. It would be totally impractical. Pink glitter isn't inherently anti-feminist unless you believe that all women should like it and only women should like it. This is all kind of baffling to me!

Captain, that is exactly the point.

Let me be clear, I do not think that any of these things make anyone a bad feminist, but many of us have been told that we are because of them.

CaptainBrickbeard

I started the thread as a tongue in cheek way of saying most women actually are feminists. It depresses me when if you can't offer a doctoral thesis or answer 29 questions, correctly and in detail poster say you are not a feminist.
Women then announce they are not feminists when, if you scratch the surface they hold very feminist views.

So to all the intellectuals with high standards of feminist credibility I say "I am a feminist but........"

My DP is a shit man in loads of ways but he excels where it matters.

He does the bins.

Melvin, let's start by telling the idiots who say these things that they are embarrassingly wrong. I am fed up of daft chat going unchallenged.

(My DD regularly stoats about in a crinoline, a tutu/fairy/pirate costume sounds great! All the costumes for all the kids, the only sex segregated costume is one which is cut to fit on in your penis or cut differently for a vulva. And they ain't for kids.)

I've told them to look out for a tutu wearing STEM CEO in about 30 years' time. She will be one of my DDs.

I'm a crap feminist as I have no idea about our finances, which in part terrifies me. I have abdicated all responsibility to DH. To counter that, I am the main breadwinner, I work away from home occasionally and leave all the childcare to DH on those occassions, I wear no make-up because I can't put it on and I look like a clown and I put the bins out (if DH hasn't already done it).

No one purporting to be a feminist has ever told me that wearing pink dresses and changing my name on marriage disbarred me from feminism; the only people to tell me that have been people who we're adamantly opposed to feminism and interested in perpetuating the stereotype of braless, hairy, dungaree-clad man-haters. All the feminists I've encountered have been all in favour of women having choices, freedom and equality - which includes making some choices which seem at odds with feminist principles at times.

But who are these people saying xyz makes you not a feminist. On the other thread, I saw only one thing that would make me a bit if someone then called themself a feminist

There is no gatekeeper. If you think you are feminist and do feminist deeds (even if other feminists disagree on the details), who am I (or others) to say that you are not feminist. You may not be a particular kind of feminist, but there's more than one school of thought.

This thread is just reinforcing incorrect stereotypes of what feminism is.

Why do that?

My OH is a crap manly stereotype, which is why the Epitome of Manliness that is my father often looks at him like this
It is also why I married him.

BeyondQueenOfLists well said about the being no gatekeeper.

WellErrrWhy do that?
Cos it's supposed to be a bit funny. Haha.

I'm sorry.
We were feminists having frivolous fun. We did spend some time in your corner of the playground, but we got bored/confused/deja viewed and decided to play over here. Where you have decided to join us to tell us we shouldn't be silly and mock stereotypes.