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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?

524 replies

PinkyPie2012 · 06/08/2017 23:55

We are invited to a Scottish wedding of a family member, my DS will be 2 years old at the time of the wedding. My DH is Scottish, I am not. Bride and groom are insisting all men must wear kilts including children. I personally do not like kilts, they are also not exactly cheap to buy, feels like waste of money to me especially for a toddler who will wear it once and then it is going to be too small. Shouldn't people be allowed to wear whatever they want or can afford to a wedding? AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
CoughLaughFart · 09/08/2017 06:58

I would guess that was a fart, as it doesn't fit the other two?

No, it was a perfectly sensible comment pointing out that a two year-old is unlikely to be able to engage in a serious debate about it.

heron98 · 09/08/2017 07:02

Lol at the poster who said non-Scots wearing kilts is "cultural appropriation".

It's Scotland, not some random Mayan tribe. (and I am Scottish). Get over yourself.

SoupDragon · 09/08/2017 09:07

I wish I could be arsed to seek out all the threads where posters have complained about being told to wear lilac (or whatever) to a wedding and the bride to be has been shot down and branded a Bridezilla.

EllaHen · 09/08/2017 09:30

I haven't RTFT since my post early doors but FB memories has just posted a photo of my ds aged 1 (just) wearing a kilt at my brother's wedding. The biggest smile plastered across his wee face. Just lovely.

Roseformeplease · 09/08/2017 09:39

DS wore a kilt to an (English) family wedding aged 2. Cheap, easy and can be hired round here (Scotland) where suits are harder. He was 2. They didn't give us kilt socks and I forgot to buy some. He was the star in his kilt and Bob the Builder socks.

MissEliza · 09/08/2017 10:08

Good point SoupDragon except this is someone asking people to wear what they perceive as "traditional' dress as opposed to some strange themed wedding.
Personally I'm on the fence about kilts at weddings. It's not really a tradition as such. It's a relatively new thing. It does look nice though.

WooWooSister · 09/08/2017 11:03

Why is it the Bride's fault that male family members are being asked to wear kilts? Hmm
This thread isn't about a Bridezilla. It's about the OP and her DH disagreeing about what their 2-yr-old should wear to a family wedding.
It's fairly common in Scotland that if the groom is wearing a kilt then close male family members are asked to wear them too.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 09/08/2017 11:08

I haven't RTFT so don't know what you chose to do, but all the posts saying "aww he'll look so cute"... no. You don't like kilts, so you won't like him in it or think it's cute.

Personally, if they insisted kilt was the only option, I wouldn't go to the wedding.

SoupDragon · 09/08/2017 12:06

Good point SoupDragon except this is someone asking people to wear what they perceive as "traditional' dress as opposed to some strange themed wedding.

It makes no difference. If they are genuinely insisting that all men wear kilts regardless of whether they have Scottish heritage then it's the same as insisting everyone wear lilac. To someone without any Scottish heritage, a kilt is something completely different to what they would normally wear. (I realise the OP's DH is Scottish in this particular case but I doubt all the men are)

Personally I have no problem at all with dress code requests and would always adhere to them (although I might draw the line at a naturist wedding :o)
It's the difference in the type of responses to this dress code that amuse me.

Borodin · 09/08/2017 13:20

Ohbehave1

It seems, like the OP, you are deliberately trying to say that a) you hate kilts. B) you think they are skirts and c) skirts are only for woman.

Fine with a. I don't like dungarees. But the other 2? What utter tosh.

I like kilts; my point is precisely that they are not skirts; and I'm fine with people wearing what they like, within the bounds of decency.

I would agree with you about that being "tosh", but it is not what I said or meant Confused. I'm trying to point out to those who are calling "heritage" that the tradition is for men to wear kilts by choice, not for two-year-olds to be decorated in tartan skirts for the delectation of adults.

pollymere · 09/08/2017 17:09

That's what ebay is for. You buy a second hand one and then sell it afterwards. You are BU.

Everhopeful1 · 09/08/2017 17:46

My two year old was star of the show in his hired kilt! #justsaying
But wedding guests should never be told what to wear in my opinion.

Twitchingdog · 09/08/2017 17:53

To address the cost site have price up a outfit for 2 year BOY at a wedding I expect you find a kilt is way way cheaper . There is no way on earth that he will wear a wedding outfit again cos if it last the wedding you will be lucky .

Fanjoferrets · 09/08/2017 18:03

Ffs.
Look, if the bride has asked for every bloke at the wedding to wear a kilt or don't come, then fair enough - this would be bridezilla and i would say put the lad in a pumpkin outfit, who cares...
But, if this is your sister in law and ahe has just asked this for her close male relatives then you are creating a huge drama.
Cost wise people have pointed out there is no difference, potty training wise also no difference (done a boy and a girl and tbh a kilt sounds much easier choice imo) so either you don't like the bride, have some racist issues or you have a whopping dose of homophobia to get over.
Some blokes in kilts rock the look, some look like tossers, but that is irrelevant to your lad!

Original poster
PinkyPie2012 · 09/08/2017 19:39

Groom is my DH's cousin. They are lovely couple and I don't hate them. Just was stunned about such a specific requirement. We are meeting them later tonight to discuss travel arrangements as we are taking another 2 guests in our car.

OP posts:
EllaHen · 09/08/2017 21:40

Perhaps they see you as part of the wedding party. Which is nice.

FelicityFucknickle · 10/08/2017 06:04

Are you really saying that you're fine with objectification as long as it's not males objectifying females of any age? So the objectification of baby males by adult females is fine because they say that it's non-sexual? This is very slippery ground.

I think your comparisons are erroneous
Dressing a toddler in appropriate, traditional;, requested and respectful wedding attire (especially when your only objection is that you, personally, don't like the style) is not remotely comparable to the sexualisation of little girls (or little boys) and I think your suggestion that it is is somewhat ridiculous and bordering on offensive.

Limbegal61 · 10/08/2017 08:54

YABVU! The pics of your wee one in a kilt will last far beyond the immediate cost. Of course being Scottish I'm biased, but I can't honestly see any reason apart from your stubborness not to conform to the traditional dress. It's the bride and grooms day after all and it's really not a big thing to ask of you.

MrEBear · 10/08/2017 08:57

Just to clear up the difference between a kilt and tartan skirt. A kilt is worn with a sporan, a skirt isn't.

2 year olds look so cute in a kilt!
Why not at least take him to hire shop and see what you think when you try one on him.

JanKind · 10/08/2017 09:45

Don't be a sourpuss. Just get him a kilt and take your camera

Miranda15110 · 10/08/2017 17:07

When my little one was 2 we had a family wedding. I bought him tartan shorts for the occasion. Looked great.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 10/08/2017 17:20

I can't honestly see any reason apart from your stubborness not to conform to the traditional dress

The fact that she doesn't actually like kilts?

I don't think kids look cute in kilts, and I certainly would never dress mine up in one; I'd rather miss the wedding.

LinkPlease · 10/08/2017 17:26

You're 'stunned' that a Scotsman has asked his fellow male relatives to wear kilts to his wedding? Really? You must be easily stunned.

noeffingidea · 10/08/2017 17:27

I would dress hin in a kilt, simply because I don't see any real reason not to.
As regards dress codes for a wedding, if you can't afford a new outfit then that's fair enough. Wear something you already have, and if you don't have anything within the dress code then wear the best thing you can. If you are going to buy something new anyway then try and follow the dress code, it's no skin off your nose and it will presumably please the bride and groom.

tanfield90 · 10/08/2017 17:30

The word 'wee' is cropping up with some frequency on this thread which suggests support for the kilt is coming from north of the border. To be expected, I suppose. Mind, I use 'wee' quite a lot myself and I'm not Scottish.

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