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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?

524 replies

PinkyPie2012 · 06/08/2017 23:55

We are invited to a Scottish wedding of a family member, my DS will be 2 years old at the time of the wedding. My DH is Scottish, I am not. Bride and groom are insisting all men must wear kilts including children. I personally do not like kilts, they are also not exactly cheap to buy, feels like waste of money to me especially for a toddler who will wear it once and then it is going to be too small. Shouldn't people be allowed to wear whatever they want or can afford to a wedding? AIBU?

OP posts:
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Original poster
PinkyPie2012 · 08/08/2017 21:00

DH doesn't like traditional meal that is my family's recipe, does that mean he doesn't accept my heritage? Should I force him to eat it otherwise it's disrespectful? Just because I don't like kilts doesn't mean I don't accept his heritage, that's ridiculous.

OP posts:
NanooCov · 08/08/2017 21:00

Kids in kilts are cute but I think requiring all males at a wedding to wear a kilt is stupid.

I'm Scottish, DH is not. Married five years ago. There was a fair number of kilts at our wedding but solely he choice of the guests. My dad didn't wear one - he doesn't suit them. I'd have hated to make him uncomfortable.

fevversbetterout · 08/08/2017 21:05

ClamBake Snake, as far as I remember, people scouted around for borrowed kit so they looked decent . Same as in the rest of the country, I imagine. Now, some Scots wear the kilt because they can afford to and because they like to wear the kilt for special occasions. Some people wear other stuff.

timeisnotaline · 08/08/2017 21:10

Kilts are their heritage. Sandals and socks are irrelevant. I don't like Brussel sprouts , is that relevant? Seriously.

Ohbehave1 · 08/08/2017 21:12

Pinkypie. Why not own up and say it out loud. You don't like the fact that the Bride and Groom have asked you to do something for THEIR big day and you are using your irrational dislike of kilts to fight against it.

Ohbehave1 · 08/08/2017 21:13

Oh. And yes. YABU

fevversbetterout · 08/08/2017 21:20

Pinky, don't wear a kilt then. With regard to your dislike of the idea of having your son in a kilt, why don't you sort that out with your husband or the bride and groom? Are they relatives of yours? I'm guessing the bride is your sister in law to be, but you haven't answered that.In all likelihood they won't insist on anything, so you will win. Re: family recipes, I love my husband but I won't eat foofoo for anyone.

tanfield90 · 08/08/2017 21:22

There is nothing irrational about a dislike of kilts. It is a skirt under another name. A skirt is a traditional female garment. Grown men may wear skirts if they wish, as may women. Their choice. Do not deny that choice to a child on the grounds of cuteness.

I'll see myself out.

Heather4275 · 08/08/2017 21:25

As it's a Scottish wedding kilts will just been seen as standard, all the men will be wearing them.

You can hire the full outfit for your DH for under £100, buying the same quality kilt outfit would be over £1,000. An extended return date normally adds a total extra of about £20, you won't pay a day rate for a longer return date.

You can also hire kids outfits, but I would go with eBay.

You are hire from one Moss Bros store and return to any of the others which might help as they have about 80 UK locations.

glastogal · 08/08/2017 21:31

I doubt anyone will mind what he is dressed in on the day itself.. for me this boils down to the fact that you want him not to wear a kilt and your DH wants him to. The wishes of the bride and groom are kind of irrelevant to me. If you and your DH can't agree then just flip a coin and live with the outcome. Sounds like the cost won't be too different either way!

38cody · 08/08/2017 21:33

OH. you are being mean-spirited op - you can get a cheap one, or a good quality second hand , I don't think it's the cost, you're just digging your heels in for the sake. Do you perhaps not like the couple?
He will look amazing in his kilt and possibly spoil the photo's a bit if not in one?
It's their day - go with the flow - be generous of heart and get the kilts.
Your son will look too cute and lovely pics to keep for future.
YABU if you don't.

Whiterabbitears · 08/08/2017 21:42

Borodin heritage is heritage regardless of age and wearing a kilt is not the same as a toddler girl wearing a bikini, I'm afraid I don't see the comparison. A bikini is not part of cultural tradition/ heritage or traditional wedding wear. I'm still not understanding your reference to dogs, no of course it wouldn't make sense for a dog to wear tartan but if the boys father/ family / friends are all wearing kilts then it makes sense for him to as part of the wedding.

ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 21:43

OP get yourself one of these dresses

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?
ceecee32 · 08/08/2017 21:45

Perhaps you shouldn't go to this wedding. Dad and his minime could go together without you to disapprove

ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 21:46

Oh yes, evil OP could stay at home and let all the true bekilted Scots celebrate together...

Gillybean73 · 08/08/2017 21:55

Here's my wee boy at a wedding. Kilts weren't specifically requested, but he completely stole the show. I've never had so many compliments about how gorgeous he looked, and OP I think you're being ridiculous and just making excuses. I chose to hire and you don't get charged daily, a whole weekend is included as standard because you can't usually return until the Monday anyway and if you're travelling out with the country they do deals on weekly and longer extended hires. Think this whole outfit was less than £35, but it would've been a lot less if I hadn't chosen to buy the black shirt and socks myself rather than use the hire ones, as they only did white. Also, how do you think people potty train girls in skirts and dresses?? It's not rocket science! The Bride will be disappointed if your son isn't in 'the kilt' photo with her and ALL the other men and boys and you're missing out on a lovely memento for your son to have when he's older, regardless of your own feelings on the matter. This wedding isn't about you, so either decline the invite or respect the wishes of the bride and groom.

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?
gingergenius · 08/08/2017 21:57

How does your son feel about it?

ClamBakeSnake · 08/08/2017 21:58

He's 2

Whiterabbitears · 08/08/2017 21:58

Gilly what a great pic Smile

Figgygal · 08/08/2017 22:03

How can you not love this????

Don't want my 2 year old to wear a kilt. AIBU?
tanfield90 · 08/08/2017 22:10

Easily Figgygal. It smacks of selfishness. If the child in question wants or agrees to the kilt, fair enough. If not, how dare anybody force it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/08/2017 22:11

There is nothing irrational about a dislike of kilts. It is a skirt under another name. A skirt is a traditional female garment.

See this is when I get pissed off. Basically your 'tradition' is that kilts are skirts and skirts are for girls and therefore everyone else has to agree. And believe me when I say this rankles considering how many hundreds of years this cultural imperialism has been going on for.

FelicityFucknickle · 08/08/2017 22:17

Ah, kilts are so cute on toddlers.
It is an accepted convention that we go to some trouble for weddings. That in itself can be irksome, but the digging in on heels when not for a worthy cause is never attractive.
In other words. YABU. Suck it up. Get him a kilt. He'll look utterly adorable.

TestTubeTeen · 08/08/2017 22:17

Well said MrsTerryPratchett.

And I am LOLing at the 'Traditional Female' bit, given the men in the Middle East who wear 'dresses', the men in India and the Far East who wear versions of sarongs, lapas? Dhotis....

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/08/2017 22:18

@TestTubeTeen ... Greece, Rome, parts of Africa, most of the world before trousers were invented.