My girlfriend ditches my hen to go with husband to stag do: AIBU to consider dis-inviting them to the wedding?

[Restlessandwild]

Still trying to process but there it is. Last night was my hen do. Same time as my DHTB stag. All arranged long ago in my home town. Said friend invited to hen do, her DH to stag. They don't know my DHTB well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old). Her husband confirmed stag do attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc) reg my hen. Today I find from other stags, etc that she actually tagged along with her DH with the stags?!? The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea. Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now... AIBU?

It's more that she invited herself to an event she wasn't invited to while making excuses to miss an event she WAS invited to by a friend, for me @Anyfucker and less about the actual event itself.

OP i think you do need to speak to her about it and let her know it's really upset you...

Are you going to call her out on it?

I cannot think what a legitimate excuse would be????

Partners do not go to stag or hen dos. End of.

Best,
F. Dong BSc

You've known this woman since your late teens. You know her well enough to invite her to your wedding. Can't you see past all the wedding shite, invite her out for coffee and ask whether she's okay? It sounds as if she's got a lot on her mind if she's behaving in this way. Why not be a kind friend and find out?
This.

I've never been on a hen night, nor had a hen night. I am married though. DH feels the same about Stag nights. Never seen the point. Though perhaps a Spa day might have been fine. OP, I suggest you speak to her to find out the reason.

Warmest regards

H. Wick 1974 BA Hons
Managing Director
-HamptonWick1974 Inc-

Just ask her

Regards,
HRH Christina Yang

Ah, for some reason your update makes me see it slightly differently because that doesn't sound like how I initially imagined it. It sounds more like her DH was OK with it rather than her tagging along.

The intention isn't to be rude, it's simply to offer another point of view.

And another way of spelling, going on your earlier posts. Thank you for your kindness and guidance, Martin. We struggle when it's just women posting.

I think you're just going to have to text her and ask why she went to the stag instead of the hen. I can't think of a reason that would wash so it'll be interesting to see what she comes up with.

Yours,
Dame S. Crisplock BBQ WTF LOL

weird. but i think you should at least find out her side.

Martin please get out of your mum's basement and seek help.
Sincerely
NF

How very odd of her.

D.P. Beard CPR cert (lapsed)

ByGrabtharsHammer : No problem at all, glad to be of service!

Cheers!
M.JD

I wonder who reported fanwanks post. That's a tough one...

Mit herzlichen Grüße
Frau Beyond

I need you to txt her and call her out on it really because I have to know.
Thanks

(LOLing ant some of these signoffs btw)

My DP would tell me to bolt if I appeared on a normal guy's night out never mind a stag do.

Mrs J Rackam SSC BSC

I would ask her. Did your DHtoBe /best man not tell her DH that it wasn't appropriate to bring her along and suggest they left together/she went to join the hen?

Shes not really much of a friend is she. If he's only your DHtobe's friend because hes the partner of your friend, then feel free to dump the pair of them.

PS - just making it crystal clear that I don't condone the stripping, I just wasn't commenting on it.

PPS - I also hate hen/stag parties in general

It's nothing to do with protecting men's rights to objectify women's genitals.

It's about her being rude enough to not go to OP's hens AND gate crash DP's stags.

Cordially yours,

Margaret of Madness
1980 Bonnie Babies Runner-Up

1980 Bonnie Babies Runner-Up

Oh I bet you've just been waiting for a thread to plop that accolade into!

I agree - wouldn't let her DH go without her because she doesn't trust him for whatever reason.

I'd just ignore it, rise above it, leave the wedding invitations as they are but put them next to the toilets on the furthest table away

You can rethink the friendship after the wedding I guess. Don't let it spoil things for you and DHTB

I have texted her as poster PyongyangKipperbang suggested. Her response: "Oh, you know we don't like doing things separately. All the boys were fine with it and we all had great time." WTAF?

Oh I bet you've just been waiting for a thread to plop that accolade into!

Since the moment I joined