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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

My girlfriend ditches my hen to go with husband to stag do: AIBU to consider dis-inviting them to the wedding?

379 replies

Restlessandwild · 06/08/2017 20:24

Still trying to process but there it is. Last night was my hen do. Same time as my DHTB stag. All arranged long ago in my home town. Said friend invited to hen do, her DH to stag. They don't know my DHTB well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old). Her husband confirmed stag do attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc) reg my hen. Today I find from other stags, etc that she actually tagged along with her DH with the stags?!? The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea. Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now... AIBU?

OP posts:
Yellowbird54321 · 06/08/2017 21:04

I would be naffed off about this too OP.

Regards, M.F. Silky has really got me giggling for some reason Grin

Best wishes,

Y.Bird

annandale · 06/08/2017 21:04

It would be a bit odd to disinvite them, surely? Just never speak to them again in a fully British way.

Kind regards,
A. Dale

MrsDoylesTeabags · 06/08/2017 21:05

Sorry how rude of me!!

With fondest regards

Mrs D. Teabags (PG)
Yorkshire

TheLegendOfBeans · 06/08/2017 21:06

Sounds like

  • trust issues re her DH
  • no desire to attend your wedding at all but there to keep tabs on DH
  • she's got a brass neck to turn up to a (stag) party she's not invited to

Things must be bad....if you have to feel anything, reach for pity. She's reacting to DHs movements, not acting (or caring) for you as a fellow hen.

Yours faithfully
T.L o'Beans.

Ginkypig · 06/08/2017 21:06

Did she think you wouldn't find out though? She told you not that she didn't want to come but that she couldn't go out that night!

Fondest regards G.P

needsomesunshineandwine · 06/08/2017 21:06

Weird!

Although my husbands mothers, aunts etc turned up at his 🤣

MargaretTwatyer · 06/08/2017 21:07

brillo

MartinJD explained the correct form of address on an internet forum has to us silly girlies so now we're doing it proper, like.

Felicitations

Rt. Hon Baroness Twatyer of Neasden LG, CBB, ROFL, LOL, FML

MadMags · 06/08/2017 21:07

I'm thoroughly enjoying this!

Kind regards,

M. Mags, esq.

bandbsmummy · 06/08/2017 21:08

A girl in our friendship group, partner of a friend of DH, accidentally got invited to my hen do. Fine, didn't want to be rude and uninvite her. Nice chance to get to know her a little better.

She tagged along to the whole thing, even the bit that was family only. Made everything all about her.

Also crashed DH's stag the following weekend. Turned up at the Best mans house after they all got in from wherever they'd been. Just fucking weird tbh. Still makes me a bit mad thinking about it and was years ago...

FanwankTheAbsurd · 06/08/2017 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MyRedPepper · 06/08/2017 21:09

I don't think she has any issue with you. She just wouldn't have turned up to your hen do.
I think she is either extremely jealous or just doesn't trust her DH with a stripper around (or is controlling etc etc).

In effect, this doesn't say anything about you but a lot about her and her relationship with her DH.
Just be happy not to like her.

kaputt · 06/08/2017 21:10

fanwank wins

sweetbitter · 06/08/2017 21:10

V odd and completely off to a) attend a stag do as the only woman and uninvited, and b) lie to you about your hen do. She must be going through MASSIVE jealousy issues that overshadow everything else. Interested to know as pp asked how she behaved during stag, sulky or participative or what.

Cordially
S. Bitter

MartinJD · 06/08/2017 21:11

This reply has been deleted

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squoosh · 06/08/2017 21:12

She doesn't trust her husband.

With all my love to you and yours,

Ms.Squoosh.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 21:12

I'd dis-invite her and tell her why.

Yours faithfully

OnionKnight

QOD · 06/08/2017 21:12

Wtf?
Ffs?
QOD

MargaretTwatyer · 06/08/2017 21:13

Dear fankwank

Epic

Love Margaret xxx

squoosh · 06/08/2017 21:13

'Triggered' the go to word for creepy men on the internet. Along with 'cuck' and 'snowflake'.

Shyposter · 06/08/2017 21:13

I'd just ask her what she's playing at.

Regards

S. Poster

MargaretTwatyer · 06/08/2017 21:13

BHS
STD
HIV
P45

FeralBeryl · 06/08/2017 21:13

Oh God I'm actually lolling at the sign offs!
OP you are NBU in theory - can't understand why someone didn't tell her to leave, I know I would if a 'husband or a stripper' Hmm had turned up on mine.

Best.
Sir Beryl of Feralton (abc, M.D BSc MA)

Georgieporgypuddinandpie · 06/08/2017 21:14

YANBU to be hurt at least, I certainly would have been.
Maybe ask her to meet for a coffee and tell her how hurt you feel. There may be a story behind this.
Don't disinvited without at least giving her a chance to explain.

MargaretTwatyer · 06/08/2017 21:14

Ew. Cuck. That's the latest perv thing isn't it?

TheLegendOfBeans · 06/08/2017 21:14

Alright fanwank

Seeing as you've just taken it up a gear may I revise my signature above thus:

T.L. O'Beans MA (Hons)