My girlfriend ditches my hen to go with husband to stag do: AIBU to consider dis-inviting them to the wedding?

[Restlessandwild]

Still trying to process but there it is. Last night was my hen do. Same time as my DHTB stag. All arranged long ago in my home town. Said friend invited to hen do, her DH to stag. They don't know my DHTB well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old). Her husband confirmed stag do attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc) reg my hen. Today I find from other stags, etc that she actually tagged along with her DH with the stags?!? The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea. Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now... AIBU?

All sounds very strange not just commenting so I can join in the sign off silliness, oh no

Regards
M Curle

Off topic, and reluctantly giving him the attention he so clearly craves, but... who is this Mr Martin Wanker Esq?

Yours, in haste,
E Thrumplewick (Aunty) Bsc PGDip (MedSci) Grade 5 (recorder) Swimming (25m, pink badge)

Wonder why her DH didn't join the hen party?

mit freundlichen grüßen
P. Plot VIII

This is so strange. It's not like she couldn't have known you'd find out! Unless she thought your husband would keep it a secret for her?

If she's meant to be a good friend then I really would ask her about it. Just tell her you're hurt and ask if there's any reason why she was so against coming to your hen party?

I would just reply "that's not what I heard, sadly. Besides, your lies and disloyalty were more my concern than whether you had fun tbh."

Martin! You're back from Netmums!
Welcome back hun!
Now fuckity bye back there, you goady little cunt!

P.S. Op, your friend is another goady fucker, out to piss you off.
I would dis-invite. God knows what she'll pull at the actual wedding.

1980 Bonnie Babies Runner-Up

All the boys were fine with it...
She's HORRIBLE.

Best wishes
It Went

That is really hurtful and dismissive of your feelings OP, I would not be happy.

Yours in earnest
LB - Cycling Proficiency Test 1984, Head of Rabbits St Snots 1976.

I fucking KNEW she would say that no one minded!

May I suggest you respond with "Actually, everyone minded and were very embarrassed for you but were all too polite to say anything. If you dont like doing things seperately then turn down the invitations, dont just invite yourself along to an event where you are not wanted!"

I think she doesn't trust her DH or she thought it was a way of being the centre of attention in a group of lads who probably didn't want her there

Blessings upon you
HH St C.B. Attitude of Ikea

Did she give a reason why she kept saying you she couldn't go to your hen do? Was she making up excuses re the kids etc the whole time but she knew full well she had every intention on going on the stag do instead? She sounds insecure.

Kindest regards

Miss I.B.Unreasonable (OBE)

Yanbu to uninvite them and end the friendship: rude fuckers.

All the boys were fine with it and we all had great time.

I think that's her way of saying she's not bothered about how you feel. I wouldn't want her at the wedding.

"All the boys thought you were twats: don't bother to attend the wedding."

If you're friends with her tell her the truth; she was being a twat to think it was acceptable and you'd prefer her not to act like a dong from now on. Surely you can be blunt with friends you've known so long? Sometimes I'm like a spade to the face in my bluntness with close friends. But better to be upfront than silently seethe.

She's batshit, clearly. Do you want to remain friends with someone so insecure? DH goes to stag weekends sometimes. If I needed to go and be one of the "lads" to feel better about myself I'd book in for a bit of therapy and have a word with myself.

Many thanks
WAI24601 aka Jean ValJean

All the boys thought you were twats: don't bother to attend the wedding.

This.

I'd text back - all the boys weren't fine with it, and neither am I.

Mind how you go,
T.L.Socks, BSc Rabbit Training (Hons)

Funny how it wasn't her DH coming with her on the hen night. She sounds utterly insecure and has pissed all over your feelings. Bin her off.

Warmest regards
Lady Jacinta Farnborough

Yeah, her husband fucked somebody else so she won't let him out of her sight.

Yours

Her Holiness Pope Margaret the I (BMX, CJD, DFS)

Chaz is probably right in that she saw it as a way to be centre of attention. My cousin used to be like that, thankfully she seems to have grown out of it, but she was one of those "I only get on with lads" types when the truth was she just wanted to be the only woman getting any attention. Pathetic.

I certainly wouldnt trust this woman to not try and make your wedding all about her somehow too, another trick of my cousins

I can almost guarantee that everyone else at the stag do were NOT okay with her showing up! There's a woman in my circle of friends who has form for doing similar things like this. End result - her DP is no longer invited on nights out by his friends and his friendships have suffered.