To move out because of his attitudes to food?

[MuckyWindows]

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

Not sure why people are jumping on the OP for having food issues - would you say the same if it were about a halal or a kosher diet they were following? We don't know anything about their medical/personal requirements and that's all irrelevant to the issue.

The issue is he's thoughtless and greedy. Deeply unattractive. I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who was unable to resist food like that, it suggests a lack of self- control. YANBU.

YANBU - this would really irritate me - it's incredibly inconsiderate and so so greedy. I'm not sure why people on here are accusing you of having 'food issues' - seems to me that someone who can't control themselves around food and just binges on whatever they want at any time of day (even if it ruins dinner and wastes something else you've bought as in your example) is the more likely candidate for 'food issues'.

But it does sound like this is a serious incompatibility between you - it sounds like you've got higher than average self-discipline when it comes to food and he's got absolutely zero. Personally I think attitudes to food are really important in a relationship but I think it's your decision as to whether you can find a way of living with this.

Op doesn't have food issues. She has a greedy, selfish and annoying DP.

Your dp is completely ignoring your wishes. Here its to do with food but it could be anything. Its totally disrespectful. I buy specific food for my work lunches and dh knows it. Even if he was starving he wouldnt touch it. My dd has moved home from university now and she puts stuff in the fridge and no way would anyone, even her hungry dbs, touch it. Its basic living together stuff.He needs to actually listen or else you are in for stormy times ahead.
Meantime l would get a big tupperware box put my stuff in it and stick a big label on it.
Living together does involve adjusting but the big question is can he adjust? Maybe ye should sit down and chat through how things are going so far.

Today 08:50 SendintheArdwolves

OP, I don't think it matters whether other people think your diet is 'weird' - clearly it works for you, it doesn't impact on anyone else, and you're happy to buy the foods you want to eat.

Your boyfriend sounds like a childish, greedy piss-taker. His response to you saying "if you want a treat, please eat something other than these particular items" is to

a) eat four in 24 hours
b) grin like a child and say "but they taste good!"

He fundamentally lacks respect for you. This is not going to get better.

This says it all. I don't eat protein bars and don't agree with that way of eating, but that doesn't make it wrong - so OP, while I don't think it's fair to say you have issues with food, the fact that DP doesn't respect your way of eating, let alone share your principles, is clearly a deal breaker in this relationship.

Ignore people who are saying you have food issues. It's no ones bloody business whether or not you need protein bars and totally irrelevant.

I buy a brand of yoghurt for my breakfast at work and I make packed lunches. If I came to the fridge in the morning and my dp had eaten the last yoghurt or eaten my lunch I'd be pissed because it's me trying to be organised and healthy and if he wanted a yoghurt he could just go buy one himself.

If there is fuckall in the fridge and dp is ill or some other extenuating circumstance then eating the other persons food is fine. If they have a cheese sandwhich not realising that op was saving that cheese for dinner then that's life. But this smacks of self entitled arsehole.

My mum used to do this (probably still does). She'd get in the door from work, stick her hand straight into a chip packet and munch away before she'd even put her handbag down. Then she'd leave the chips on the bench with the intention of "putting them away later".

She'd also eat right before going to bed. We'd have dinner, sometimes dessert etc. And the TV show/movie would finish and that'd be the cue to go to bed, and just then she'd whip out a mandarin or something to eat. You're just about to brush your fucking teeth?! Why do you need to eat when you'll be in bed in 10 minutes?!

Drove me nuts. I hate mindless snacking.

YANBU op, and your DP is being selfish. I had a bit of this with a previous partner, to the extent where I wondered if there was more to it. Could it be some kind of jealous, selfish thing in him where he begrudges your having things that you would enjoy or need?
My current DH is also a bit like this but through a combination of training him and hiding food, it's mostly ok.

Sending .... I said a 'wee bit' annoyed! Not massively! There r things he does that I get a wee out annoyed about! We love each other with all our flaws and quirky bits! We talk, compromise, I try with the eating thing! He tries with the bits he annoys me about! But overall these r little things! The more important things are about working together to be as a good a parents we can be, to look out for each other, to trust and care for each other. We r soul mates! I would never call him a count or vice versa!

I think that I'd be putting a lock on the kitchen door or there will be nothing left for the next day. Or leave him. Or both.

@FenellaMaxwellsPony I agree with you completely.

If you are vegetarian you can eat eggs they will give you a great protein boost. Cottage cheese, nuts, beans. I'm confused to why you are buying these products when there is perfectly natural healthy sources of protein. Unless you are keto and trying to build muscle mass which is hard without meat.

Total weirdo... leaving other peoples food the hell alone especially when told to and explained why is just normal and polite

Leaving food intended for the evening meal until the evening meal is normal and polite

Therefore he is not normal or polite. I don't give a toss if it's some mental disorder he should have got himself a very intensive psychotherapist before attempting to live with another human

If he wants snickers or a protein shake, he needs to get off his arse and buy them. YADNBU and he's being childish and rude. Perhaps I'm wrong but it sounds as if he was perhaps massively enabled as a child and expects you to be the same as his mummy.

I don't understand the issue. If you both want to eat protein bars, then surely just buy enough of them for both of you?? (Presuming both of you split the grocery bill). It seems a bit selfish of you to be the only one allowed to eat expensive bars because you are on a "special" diet.
Likewise, if he wants to eat quorn, then buy enough for both of you and whoever is cooking that night can make something for both of you with quorn? I'm veggie too, and I'm thrilled when my boyfriend wants my soya mince rather than meat.

The poppadoms were earmarked by her, was that agreed or just a unilateral decision? Perhaps they should have bought 2 packets.

The shopping budget should ensure both partners get whatever they want to eat, so far as possible. If OP wants specialist protein bars or whatever other nutritional nonsense she believes in, that has to be on the basis her DP gets something similar. The budget shouldn't only accommodate her wants.

All very well saying he should buy what he wants, but if that's coming out of his own money, and OPs stuff isn't, that's unfair and selfish.

Sorry, meant a 'count' not a 'count'!

Aaaagghh bloody autocorrect did it again, 'cunt' not 'count' !

My partner is similar to this. I combat this by having a bag and I mean a shopping bag full of shit that if he wants to mindlessly snack he eats out of that. It takes time to iron out these wee indifferences but I'm with everyone that's saying you know what he is like so buy extra to accommodate this.

This would piss me off but I would try and talk about it with him before moving out. Maybe get a box filled with snacks that he can dig into at any time and box of stuff that is off limits etc.

Why not get a Labrador instead? They also eat everything but at least u can forgive a dog
I am with you OP - your boyfriend sounds childish and undisciplined.

They shop together, as an adult he is fully capable of suggesting extras or getting his own stuff within said shopping trip.

Although I agree that in theory it makes sense to provide him with his own 'grazing bag', it wouldn't work with my DH. If he knows there is food in the house, he can't rest until he has eaten it. He literally circles the fridge and hovers by the kitchen cupboards. If you buy more he simply eats more.
That's why I hide quite a lot of stuff.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars.

But you're also eating Asda ready made curry and rice and bags of poppadoms. How strict a diet is that?

You sound food obsessed and he sounds very greedy.

Either way degenerating into calling each other nasty names sounds as though it is pretty much over.

Sit down and talk to him. Ideally without swearing! You need to set some ground rules.

You do sound a bit obsessed with your diet though and you mentioned about having children - you need to make sure you're not influencing them in a way that could lead them to have issues with food.

Correction you calling him nasty names.