To move out because of his attitudes to food?

[MuckyWindows]

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

Hard to fathom whether it's just greed, complete lack of respect, or he's a wind-up merchant. There are practical solutions, but to be honest if you're living with a man who'll happily trough all the food you need to maintain a balanced diet, even when you've asked him not to, it doesn't bode well.

I can't believe people are saying the OP has a problem with food. Maybe they're trying to lose weight or are weight training. Even if not it's no ones business what OP eats.

The PP who said no one 'needs' protein bars, people don't 'need' half the food they eat. If she had said chocolate bar would you have said that? Would love to come and look through your cupboards and point out all the stuff you don't 'need'. And she clearly stated that the curry from Asda was a treat meal.

Your DP sounds irritating and immature OP. He has no self control but is also too lazy to get his own food.

A strict diet, which includes Asda Curry, Poppadoms and baking chocolate sounds really interesting.

Sorry, but rant continues as this has made me so angry- the people who apply this sort of reasoning are the ones condoning unhealthy food attitudes. A strict diet should absolutely allow for eating less healthy foods. OP is demonstrating that she has a healthy eating pattern, and not letting food rules supersede occasional enjoyment. It's mentally healthy for people to be able to choose to consume such foods without guilt.

I don't know if this is simple greed, or if he just doesn't give a shit about your feelings, or if he is actively sabotaging your diet to stop you succeeding.

He clearly has no respect for you, won't stop doing it and thinks it's all one big joke, so... LTB.

Selfis, disrespectful, inconsiderate. I don't think it's so much about the food, but how he treats you and your needs. Food is a red herring, it's all about his lack of respect and lack of self control.

Bin the selfish fucker. This isn't about food, it's about the fact that you have asked him not to do something which causes you distress and his response is to do more of it.

I lived with a guy who turned out to be an emotional abuser. Eating all the food/special treats/things I would make last all week in one go was just one of his lovely habits. If I bought proper orange juice to have a glass for breakfast each morning, he would chug the lot straight from the carton 'because I'm thirsty.' Drink some fucking water then. Friends gave us both some handmade chocolates. I came home from work and he'd eaten them all himself 'because I was hungry.'

It's a red flag for a really big problem. Run away now.

Sounds like living with a teenager - we have to hide our food from the teenagers in our house. It's a strategy that works but you may feel you don't want to be in a partnership where you're hiding food from your OH.
Does seem like he needs more food available that he enjoys eating without having to raid yours.

6 of one, half a dozen of another. His behaviour is not great but then no way would I live with someone as fussy about food as you clearly are. Total deal breaker for me.

He's an adult, she shouldn't have to make him his own special treat box to try and stop him repeatedly scoffing food clearly identified as for her or for meals already planned for them both.
Neither my DH nor I play food police, but he once went on a diet that involved shakes and bars and the chocolate and nut ones were nice. I never helped myself but once in a blue moon when I fancied chocolate and couldn't be arsed to go to the shop I'd ask if I could have one if there were plenty.
As to her buying more, that stuff is expensive, it's not mindless fodder.
The "grin" would probably push me over the edge.

He ate a whole pack of those poppadoms, aren't there usually 8-10 of them? I could only eat a couple max.

It's the fact that he's inconsiderate that is a problem, he doesn't respect your need to have those expensive foods for your diet and eat something else.

He also can't delay gratification, even waiting until dinner time to eat the poppadom, which is like dating a toddler.

Has he lived with anyone before, either a housemate or another girlfriend? It doesn't sound like it.

You need to calmly tell him how much this is affecting you and that you are even considering ending the relationship over it. It may not be important to him but it's important to you (and most other people).

I don't think you should have to resort to locked cupboards and boxes in the fridge as this is about respect and self control. If he doesn't have either then I don't really think he's worth staying in a relationship with.

I'm with Velvetspoon earlier. Protein bars are expensive so it would be interesting to know if they're coming from a communal or from OP's budget.

Nevertheless, eating an entire packet of poppadoms so that the pickle tray is rendered useless for a meal that is in fact later that day, would render me incandescent with rage ! He had many other options - he could have suggested to Op that he was hungry and why didn't they have the poppadoms and pickles as an afternoon snack, or he could have eaten his half only, leaving the other half for OP to have with her evening meal.

OP with the poppadoms issue I would have made him drive to the shops ( or perhaps walk or cycle - sounds like he could do with a mechanism to burn up all those calories) and get replacements and try to do that each and every time he uses up all of your food.

Definitely mouse. Not to mention that strict diets aren't also about losing or gaining weight, sometimes they're about allergens/religion/etc.

In my case my strict diet is allergen and health related, so I usually cook from scratch. However I can occasionally wing it and have a ready meal. I'm still bloody strict on what I can't have though, as the fall out isn't pleasant.

I am with OP on this one. It's like when I buy snack bars (or similar) for DS to have one each day in his lunch box, and then they mysteriously disappear, so I have to buy some more!!!
OP YANBU, and your DP is thoughtless.

Whilst I agree that the OP sounds controlling about food - I do understand. I work within the health and fitness industry and am always on a specific fitness regime (I change regimes every couple of months). The nature of the workouts are demanding and require different nutrition strategies. I often have to eat small meals 5-6 times a day, alot of the time the same meals on rotation (I know what a bore right 🙄) so I would be very irritated if my dp ate all of my more expensive items. Of course sharing is caring but her dp sounds as if he's literally eating all of the food that is being stocked specifically for her needs. Not fair IMO! 😊

Just have a shelf for foid off-limit to him.
YANBU, we had a similar situation so now when I do the food shop I ask him what he wants as snacks and I buy it plus some for me. He eats his all in one go, whereas I like to have 1-2 a day and for it to last all week. But as they are on my shelf he doesn't touch it.

Tbh, you both sound like you have problem attitudes to food. It's also hard to tell whether he genuinely likes your food, or is deliberately trying to wind you up because he thinks your diet is stupid - he can't be so dense as not to realise how irritating he is being.

I could easily eat an entire pack of poppadums in one go. But don't tend to. We rarely buy them unless we want them for curry.

i don't think the op was right for calling dh a greedy cunt but the point stands. He is greedy. Why did he have to eat all the bars? To prove a point that he could?

He's very selfish. And greedy.

What are you going to do about it?

It doesn't really matter how stupid we may or may not think the OP's diet is. That's somewhat irrelevant.

The point is that the DP is eating everything - even things which are ear marked for future meals , or are OP's main source of protein.

I highly doubt that he's scranning all the food just as some sort of veiled protest of OP's eating habits, it seems much more likely that he's doing it because he's greedy, lacks self-control and does not think of others. Not nice traits at all in a partner.

What gets me is that he looks pleased with himeslf when he does something "naughty" which suggests an anal retentive mummys boy who has always been praised for stupidity as a child. What real man behaves like that?

Well everytime he eats something meaning you can't have your share send him out to buy more. He'll soon get bored of that. And if he wants to eat some of the same stuff you do then buy more.

Irrespective of what anyone thinks about your food choices, he is being an arsehole eating things you have bought especially after you have to explained to him why him eating these things upsets you. This would give me the rage.

His behaviour shows disrespect is it enough for you to move out? What is he like in other areas of your relationship?

YANBU

He just sounds like a pig. If he was having one bar/drink a day it would be fair enough but he's just eating all your stuff in one go so there's non left for you for the rest of the week.

I'd start storing everything under lock and key. Or leave him because this level of selfishness doesn't boad well for a happy healthy future.

He should replace everything

He is greedy and disrespectful and I couldn't deal with that at all. I'm so lucky I live with a man who eats three meals a day with no snacking. Life is so much easier that way.