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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move out because of his attitudes to food?

384 replies

MuckyWindows · 06/08/2017 08:28

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

OP posts:
steff13 · 07/08/2017 21:11

Did the OP ever come back to this thread? Did her partner eat her?

2rebecca · 07/08/2017 21:21

I wonder if it was fiction with her totally vanishing. Seems odd.

Butterforgloss · 07/08/2017 21:24

It's been nearly thirteen hours since OP posted.. What does that tell you?

2rebecca · 07/08/2017 21:24

A friend has an older male relative like this though so that sort of selfish toddler attitude to food does occur in some men. I suspect women who can't control themselves around food would apologise and feel ashamed about it and know they were the one with the problem. Probably why bulimia is supposedly commoner in women. Men just smile and call themselves greedy or their partners controlling

HattiesBackpack · 07/08/2017 21:25

Am also surprised by the number of posters who seem to think it's controlling and uppity for a woman to want to be allowed to control a packet of protein bars

I posted earlier that if this post was written with the roles reversed the majority view would be that the DP was controlling- (and I stand by that, i think there would have been a majority of responses of 'is he always this controlling' 'red flag' etc) anyway I got a silly passive aggressive response (which kind of exemplifies the rubbish side of munsnet at the moment) so I've been away and had a sulk, and have comported myself to give you a proper answer OP.

No you wouldn't be unreasonable to move out because you and your partner have different attitudes to food and it's making you unhappy.

HattiesBackpack · 07/08/2017 21:27

Oh just seen your post Butterforgloss

I'm getting sucked in by fake posts all the time at the moment!

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 07/08/2017 21:30

This is a well known fake poster. Spotted it as soon as I read the OP. Always in Aibu and always about a greedy partner, curry is often mentioned too. Don't know why they fucking do this!

2rebecca · 07/08/2017 21:48

I thought it was genuine initially as it didn't seem wacky enough to be fake. A fairly mundane sort of problem for an evening's entertainment. No-one died or was having nervous break downs and weepy wailings.

TheNightmanCometh · 07/08/2017 21:54

Passive aggressive hattie? Nah, you got your arse handed to you, for saying something stupid.

LimitedSedition · 07/08/2017 22:11

I thought the curry resonated. Was the last one not a chicken korma???

HattiesBackpack · 07/08/2017 23:19

TheNightmenCometh

Really? You think saying 'hth' at the end of a post is 'handing someone their arse'??
Hardly the epitome of a strong argument is it?

HelenaDove · 07/08/2017 23:22

Whether the OP is fake or not some of us have experienced similar and posted it here so it is an issue..........therefore i hope the thread isnt zapped.

GingerRogers84 · 07/08/2017 23:46

@SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower
The fat ball thread! I'm crying! 😂😂😂

lucyloopy · 07/08/2017 23:49

I agree round be a shame to zap it.

UtterlyFcked · 07/08/2017 23:54

There is no way to restrain foodies. Nothing is safe in this house. Top tip for protein bars: discover a cereal that he really doesn't like, empty the box and store your protein bars in it. Works for me Grin

I know it's infuriating but I honestly think that some people just can't help it and have such an emotional attachment to food, which is bizarre. It is very selfish, but I'd rather live with a chronic scoffer than an adulterer/alcoholic/gambler/etc. Could be worse?

TheNightmanCometh · 08/08/2017 08:38

I think it's rather interesting you picked out the 'hth' rather than the bits that were actually handing you your arse hattie...

In terms of scams, I fully expect this to be on Matthew Wright or similar within a few hours, but it has raised some interesting discussions. As well as one of the least well thought out ever examples in the 'waah you'd all be saying different if we reversed the genders' posting genre. It might be prudent to suggest Paul Dacre once bummed a puffin or similar, if you don't want any screenshots.

Gooseberrycrumble4 · 08/08/2017 09:04

We are foodies in my house (we enjoy a wide variety of foods and particularly interesting foods). Non of us eat too much or eat other peoples stuff. Eating selfishly without an off switch would make me wonder about future happiness and health. The implications are wider then your store cupboard.

HipsterHunter · 08/08/2017 09:08

Oh is this the greedy curry boyfriend troll?

What a strange thing to keep posting about.

The troll probably does have quite serious issues with lack of control around food and self loathing.

GinIsIn · 08/08/2017 09:18

Oh, of course it's curry troll. FFS I can usually spot her a mile off. Must be the sleep deprivation.

HeyRoly · 08/08/2017 09:35

Oh, I'm terrible at spotting the "theme" trolls.

A curry fetishist though? Fancy that.

2rebecca · 08/08/2017 09:38

That's not a "foodie" Utterly, that's a glutton.
Of course adults can exercise self control with food, it can be harder for some people but it isn't impossible.
Some people can't be bothered with self restraint. Delayed gratification is a learned behaviour.
Most animals eat when they can. Our species has a surfeit of easily available food and part of maturing in our society is learning how to live a healthy sociable life despite the ease of access to food and not just eating everything you fancy as soon as you see it.

HattiesBackpack · 08/08/2017 09:39

TheNightmanCometh

Ok I'm going to bite because you are obviously spoiling for a fight - Can you point me to the place where I've had my arse handed to me please? I seem to have missed it!

Believe me I have had my arse handed to me on mumsnet before- by intelligent and insightful and witty posters, but 2 posts saying oh you're wrong Hattie is in no way 'handing someone their arse'.

Sadly there seems to be a lot of posters around lately who don't want a discussion, if they don't agree with people they just get silly stroppy replies, and it's getting really boring.

TheNightmanCometh · 08/08/2017 10:11

You got your arse handed to you by my good self, pointing out that a thread where there's been a mixed bag of responses and lots of people have had a go at the female OP is a poor choice for a 'what if the sexes were reversed' rant. That was an arse handing, I'm afraid. Had you any refutation for that, you'd have come up with it by now.

As for the silly stroppy replies point and spoiling for a fight claims, a bit of self awareness on your part wouldn't go amiss...

scottishdiem · 08/08/2017 10:38

DP and I have our own food and eat different things. We would go a bit mad with each other I think if we started eating each others stuff. We have occasional set meals together but those are planned in a month.

OP - you are fine - ignore the thread haters here. They are probably enablers for their own partners selfish behaviour and get self worth from that. Your partner is being a selfish arse.

HattiesBackpack · 08/08/2017 10:58

TheNightmanCometh

Oh dear! No that really wasn't an arse handing, you need to up your game!

Yes I am aware that I engaged in a bun fight with AlternativeTreacle, (I thought her bore off zzzz response was quite funny actually!)

But telling posters who have a different opinion or ideas to you that they are 'fucking stupid' is classless and tacky, and shows a distinct lack of critical thinking or intelligence.

Debate my opinions by all means, but with actual reasoning please.