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Original poster

To move out because of his attitudes to food?

384 replies

MuckyWindows · 06/08/2017 08:28

I moved in with DP in May. It's been a fucking nightmare since as he just eats innapropriately and it drives me insane.

Example, yesterday we bought curry and rice, a packet of popadoms and a pickle tray from ASDA as a treat meal for the night as we were child free. We get in, start putting shopping away, I go back to car and then come in to see him munching through the popadoms whilst he puts the shopping away! When he sees me he gestures for me to tuck in. I say "what are you doing?? They were for tea!" And he replies "well it doesn't matter does it? It's only a couple of hours away" - it was 2pm!!i was really pissed off ASD I was looking forward to that meal and because he'd eaten them, the pickle tray was now useless.

He does stuff like this all the time! A few days ago he munched through a bar of baking chocolate that I had bought to actually bake with.

I follow a strict diet and so buy protein drinks and protein bars. I'm also vegetarian so need this stuff to hit my goals. Whenever I go to the fridge the drinks have all gone. He just drinks them one after another "because they're nice". I've explained that they are meant as a one a day thing and he just says "I know but they're so moreish!" With a stupid grin. This means there is never any for me.

The protein bars are expensive and you only get four in a box. They're meant to last me all week. Friday he ate one in his packed lunch, one when he got home from work and went to get one after tea. I snapped and called him a greedy cunt - he said I was over reacting. Since I've moved in here my diet is all over the place because there is never anything in. He eats everything of mine. He even eats my quorn stuff and he's not a vegetarian!!! It's stressing me out so much I want to leave. He thinks it's a massive over reaction and that I should expect to share food when living with someone but this isn't sharing, it's him eating every fucking thing!!!!

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 06/08/2017 08:39

I don't think the problem is yours at all, I think he sounds very self centred. It's not about being the food police and telling him what he can or cannot eat. It's about showing some basic respect for the fact that some things in the house are allocated to certain things. It's blatantly selfish to help yourself to something that you know someone else is planning to eat later. If the protein bars are eg for after a gym session then leave them for after a gym session, eat something else instead. Or go to the shop and buy more protein bars.

Floellabumbags · 06/08/2017 08:40

He sounds like a teenager. Quite an inconsiderate, greedy teenager. As I see it your options are:

1 Hide everything in the salad drawer

2 Leave him

Personally I'd go for option 2.

CryingMessFFS · 06/08/2017 08:40

Sounds like you both have food issues and it won't work. You're neurotic and strict (nobody needs protein bars) and he is greedy and selfish. Not a good combination and one that is probably incompatible.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 06/08/2017 08:41

God, how many typos? Oops.

Crumbs1 · 06/08/2017 08:41

It sounds like you're the nightmare to be honest. You don't 'need' protein bars. Do you have a problem relationship with food as you sound incredibly self controlling around your diet - not in a good way. I can see why he might do it to tease you into a more normal sense of balance about the food and drink in the shared fridge.
It doesn't really matter what he eats when but it's mildly annoying rather than a serious relationship breaking issue.
My husband always says he doesn't want something when we're out then picks food off my plate - it's annoying but hardly the end of the world.

ojojoj1 · 06/08/2017 08:42

I would have killed him if he ate my protein bar . If you trying to eat healthy and you are on a plan it's hard work and you don't need anyone ruining your effort

SEsofty · 06/08/2017 08:43

You have food issues but he doesn't respect you. You've explained that he is upsetting you and he doesn't care.

Seriously doubt whether this relationship can last

NC4now · 06/08/2017 08:43

We share food in our house but there are some things that aren't just for digging into.
No-one touches my protein shakes or DHs chocolate for his lunchbox. Those things are earmarked.
I wouldn't like that either OP.
I don't think it's nice to call him a greedy cunt though. Have you lost respect for him?

Mulch · 06/08/2017 08:43

I feel for you op I'd be fed up if asking him not to eat xyz then he goes and does it anyway. How's the relationship otherwise? I don't think you have an. Issue with food it's just different to how the majority eat

JaneEyre70 · 06/08/2017 08:43

I've had this for years with my DH. Went to made the white chocolate cheesecake once on christmas eve for lunch the next day and all the chocolate had been eaten........ so we went without.

I'm very good at hiding stuff now Hmm.

VelvetSpoon · 06/08/2017 08:44

Agree you sound overly obsessed with food.

Why are you eating protein bars anyway? Surely a balanced diet delivers the same benefits?

And if you get to have (in your words expensive) protein bars to have as a snack, where are his snacks? Doesn't sound very fair if when ypu go shopping, you buy all the food you want and nothing for him. Assuming that is shopping comes from joint account.

Maybe just buy more food. Or unclench a little.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 06/08/2017 08:44

I don't think it is the OP's issue at all! Honestly he sounds greedy and disrespectful.

SEsofty · 06/08/2017 08:44

Oh and unless you are doing serious quantities of weight lifting no one needs protein bars

EnidColeslaw771 · 06/08/2017 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caffeinestream · 06/08/2017 08:46

You're both opposite ends of the spectrum. He eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants - you're very controlled and strict to the extent that you get angry over him fancying some poppadoms or eating a couple of protein bars in a day.

Either meet in the middle somewhere or move on. He won't be happy being controlled but you won't be happy having to share your food. Something's gotta give.

Alexandrite · 06/08/2017 08:47

Me and my dh are greedy and we don't have much self control with snacks BUT neither of us would ever do what your dh is doing and take stuff that someone had saved for a planned meal. He is being totally ridiculous.

Addley · 06/08/2017 08:47

How is it that OP has food issues? I can't work out where people are coming from on this. I have some specific dietary needs so I buy specific foods, some of which you can't just pop to the corner shop for. DP leaves my special foods alone because he can eat things that are cheaper and easier to get hold of (and frankly, nicer). Once my equivalent of OP's protein bars are gone, I can't just eat whatever other random thing we happen to have in the house, or grab a Snickers next time we're in the shops, whereas DP can. If there's Quorn, pork mince, some steaks, and a packet of kievs in, and OP's DP eats all the Quorn, that's it, there's nothing she can have. Whereas he could have any of the other things. OP's DP is making her go without, because he's got no self-control or consideration for her or her needs.

And the poppadom thing is just annoying. He's just eaten, on his own, dry poppadoms that were supposed to be part of dinner. Because he lacks self-control, he's missed out on poppadoms with actual things to go in them, and so has DP, and in addition the treat tea is now not really a treat tea, it's just a curry like normal. Why didn't he just buy some crisps?

IrritatedUser1960 · 06/08/2017 08:49

I'll be honest he sounds incredibly selfish and thoughtless and I wonder if this has spread into other areas of your relationship.
Why can't he buy his own snack food. I suggest you buy a locked box for your food.
He would piss me off in 5 seconds but then that's why I live alone!

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 06/08/2017 08:50

It's not about whether a healthy diet would have the same benefits as a protein bar. The fact is, the OP buys a special food item, which is expensive, to eat sparingly. For him to gobble them all up whilst knowing they are her special bars is disrespectful.

Starlight2345 · 06/08/2017 08:50

You both have food Issues and if you are this miserable aready then I advice you leave this is supposed to be the honeymoon period.

SendintheArdwolves · 06/08/2017 08:50

OP, I don't think it matters whether other people think your diet is 'weird' - clearly it works for you, it doesn't impact on anyone else, and you're happy to buy the foods you want to eat.

Your boyfriend sounds like a childish, greedy piss-taker. His response to you saying "if you want a treat, please eat something other than these particular items" is to

a) eat four in 24 hours
b) grin like a child and say "but they taste good!"

He fundamentally lacks respect for you. This is not going to get better.

SargeantAngua · 06/08/2017 08:51

How about the shopping includes snickers bars and something he likes to drink (ie close equivalent to your stuff, but they'll likely be cheaper) with an agreement that those are his and he leaves yours alone?

MrsOverTheRoad · 06/08/2017 08:51

It IS annoying. My DH was vegan for some time and he would eat a lot of very expensive nuts...his mate used to tuck into them as though they were a free for all but they were a large part of DH's protein!

IrritatedUser1960 · 06/08/2017 08:51

i can understand about the protein bars too, I'm on lighter life which is really expensive and if my lodger helped herself to my bars and shakes without asking she'd be looking for somewhere else to live.

SpartacusSaiman · 06/08/2017 08:51

Even people lifting loads of weights dont need protein bars

I am partial to one occassionally. What most people dont realise is that that the nutritional info on most protein bars is misleading at best. Downright lies at worst.

Same goes for protein shakes. Very few companies can actually prove their claims. Many have them tested to prove there is nothing in it athletes would be tested for. But very few actaully have their nutritionals testes on a regular basis.

Its not unusual for supplement companies to be fined for misleading information. Such as having nowhere near the amount of protein in that they claim. But tgey continue to do it. They adjust what they say, a bit. Adjust the recipe, a bit. Sell it, make a fortune and suck up the fine when its discovered. They can afford it.

We produce products for these companies and have it tested via trading standards every 3 months. Very few companies do this.

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