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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you a feminist?

999 replies

NoLoveofMine · 06/08/2017 02:03

Yes or no...

OP posts:
WobbleHead · 06/08/2017 08:12

Yes

Things aren't equal yet. Maybe the legislative war (for equality) is largely won, but the war on representation (media, politics, STEM) isn't. Plus I seem to come across an alarmingly high number of chauvinists for a society which others are saying is already equal. Hmm So I think the cultural war is definitely not won either.

Boys and men need support. But supporting them does not require scaling down the focus on girls and women. It's not a zero sum equation. One of my biggest bug bears is the assumption that by supporting girls and women, feminists are somehow taking a resource away from boys/men that THEY were entitled to. Plenty of respect to go round guys!

On a side note, it's completely daft to say boys are struggling in school because girls are doing well. Are the girls preventing the boys from learning? How fatuous.

The whole trans thing. Meh. I hate how vicious it gets. I want to see how things play out for a few more years before making my mind up. But when in doubt, it's probably better to err on the side of inclusivity.

TipTopTipTopClop · 06/08/2017 08:13

On a side note, it's completely daft to say boys are struggling in school because girls are doing well. Are the girls preventing the boys from learning? How fatuous.

Who says this?

I think we need to pay a lot more attention to the plight of the white working class boy in general.

Oomph · 06/08/2017 08:14

Yes. And what Sophocles said above.

WomanWithAltitude · 06/08/2017 08:14

larry - you "explain the rad fem position to them"? How on earth can you do that, considering your post makes it obvious you don't understand it?

To the OP - yes I am, and I think some of the responses above make it clear why feminism is needed.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2017 08:15

Yes.

dontslouchdarling · 06/08/2017 08:16

Of course.

How can feminism have "done it's job" when we have the statistics we do regarding male violence against women and girls? I just dont understand how, in the face of those numbers, any woman can argue against the need for safe female space.

larrygrylls · 06/08/2017 08:17

Woman,

I put some of the propositions stated by rad fems on these boards to them.

I do not teach feminism nor do I pretend to be an expert. I advise them to do their own reading up on it and come to their own conclusions.

MrsPorth · 06/08/2017 08:18

Hell yeah.

sashh · 06/08/2017 08:18

Girls are flourishing - they're out-achieving boys / men).

When women/girls have been given the opportunity they have ALWAYS out performed men and boys in education.

But they are still paid less and find it harder to progress in their careers.

silkpyjamasallday · 06/08/2017 08:20

Yes, I have been aware of feminism since school, I went to an all girls school that really pushed it and I think that was very valuable. Since I've had a daughter though, and reading mumsnet feminist boards I am a total RadFem/TERF. My school framed feminism as a stand alone thing for women only, but positively and focused on empowerment, now however from reading I am of the opinion that women are actively subjugated by men and our patriarchal society and that makes me pretty angry.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 06/08/2017 08:22

Yes, but I disagree with some feminists, on plenty of issues.

WellErrr · 06/08/2017 08:22

larry - you "explain the rad fem position to them"? How on earth can you do that, considering your post makes it obvious you don't understand

Exactly what I was thinking.

It's alarming that someone with clearly so little understanding on the issue is purporting to lecture impressionable people on it.

WellErrr · 06/08/2017 08:23

Yes, but I disagree with some feminists, on plenty of issues.

Like what? Smile

Inertia · 06/08/2017 08:24

Yes.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2017 08:24

"Yes, but I disagree with some feminists, on plenty of issues."

Can you say what issues?

Oly5 · 06/08/2017 08:25

Yes of course

ethelfleda · 06/08/2017 08:25

This thread is interesting because it seems many people have a different definition of what feminism means to them. I said yes I am a feminist - but to me it means equal opportunities and rights.

Someone asked early if misogyny is still a problem in society... if have said no until I started at my current company. I guess it is all down to your personal experiences... I never felt that being a female held me back until I started working there and met some actual, real life chauvinists.
I fought bloody hard to get them to take me seriously and thought I had succeeded until recently. I've been there nearly ten years.
But they are a generation above me as well so very old fashioned in general... and I have lots of allies at work who are strong women (and a new male boss who is not sexist in any way - which helps!)

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2017 08:26

"I then explain the rad fem position "

Larry- could you tell me what you say?

MouseholeCat · 06/08/2017 08:27

Yes, I am.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/08/2017 08:27

Fuck yes. The older I get, the more I become raging, old-school, Germaine Greer kind of feminist. The world we live on is not good enough and it needs to change.

The minutiae is important too. It doesn't all have to be big things does it? I mean, I hope people who whine about that are never bothered by an itchy backside or something because it's so irrelevant in the great course of things. If something matters to you, try to change it - whether it's all the pink tat for little girls (which doesn't bother me but I'm not the feminist police) or FGM and honour killings. Anything that makes the world a bit less bad for women is good.

treaclesoda · 06/08/2017 08:27

Girls are flourishing - they're out-achieving boys / men).

I've always found it strange that this is met with such outrage. Boys used to outperform girls and that was accepted. But when things changed it was suddenly a crisis.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 06/08/2017 08:32

Actually, the case of the woman who was kidnapped, drugged and offered for sale on the dark web is proof of how much we need feminism. The men actually thought they could do something like that. All women are is a commodity for real people i.e. men. It must stop.

treaclesoda Girls are flourishing - they're out-achieving boys / men). I've always found it strange that this is met with such outrage. Boys used to outperform girls and that was accepted. But when things changed it was suddenly a crisis. YY to this in spades.

ethelfleda · 06/08/2017 08:32

Can I ask is anyone thinks that there are other women 'letting the side down' so to speak?
For example, the women I have worked with in the past (and some I work with now) who go in to hair-twirling giggly mess when men are around and play dumb when you know full well they are capable? Or the female members of my family that will ask my husband's help on something because it's a 'man's job' when I am more than capable of doing it? (Luckily DH is a feminist too Smile)

larrygrylls · 06/08/2017 08:33

Bertrand,

No...and I don't tend to say. I tend to ask questions to challenge ideas. Without writing an essay here (which I am not going to do) any one statement will be easily condescendingly knocked down as 'you don't understand' or ' you are showing your own bias'.

As I said I challenge the idea that all feminists believe feminism is merely equality of opportunity and that there are many strands of feminism.

I encourage them to google radical feminism and see if they agree with the ideas.

They have a flourishing femsoc for detailed discussion and I merely gave brief en passant discussions with them when they ask me about it. Fwiw the female teachers probably split 70/30 as to those who would term themselves feminists and vice versa.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2017 08:33

"Someone asked early if misogyny is still a problem in society... if have said no until I started at my current company. I guess it is all down to your personal experiences"

That's interesting. Do we really only form a world view based on our own experiences? Wouldn't that be rather narrow. Surely we are informed by statistics and by other people's experiences?

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