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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you a feminist?

999 replies

NoLoveofMine · 06/08/2017 02:03

Yes or no...

OP posts:
coconuttella · 07/08/2017 15:15

I think feminism was relevant when society systematically discriminated against women... Although there are clearly far too many cases where women are mistreated or abused, the argument has been won in liberal democracies, and the wider (Western) society accepts that women should be granted equality of opportunity and status with men.

To use an analogy, although there are still far too many cases of child mistreatment and abuse, Society similarly views this as abhorrent, and as such there's no need for 'Childism' to fight for society to recognise the rights of children.

ANewAlias · 07/08/2017 15:18

@smileEachDay - what did you mean then?

With the huge void between 'feminist' as a label people don't want and 'equality of the sexes' (an idea that people do want), why label your child?

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 15:19

If bigger doesn't equal better, there's surely no argument in trans people and sport

That's nonsense. Bigger doesn't equal a talented player automatically.

Bigger does mean that you can tackle harder.

And as I said I am yet to see a woman The size of some of the men I regularly see playing rugby.

Anyway. Massive derail.

So OP, am I a feminist? YES. I can't understand any woman who isn't

BertrandRussell · 07/08/2017 15:21

ANewAlias - "Saying you're raising a feminist child appears to mean you refuse to accept the difference between the dictionary definition of feminism (which only the biggest arsehole could disagree with) and what feminism now means to the majority of people"

It's not a matter of "refusing to accept" it. But I can't really comment until you tell me what feminism "now means to the majority of people".

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/08/2017 15:21

This reply has been deleted

This post references a now deleted post. Talk Guidelines.

SmileEachDay · 07/08/2017 15:23

I'm raising him to see men and women as equal, to at least think about gender stereotypes and potentially reject them...I plans to make sure he understands the position women are in worldwide.

That is one part of my parenting. I also teach him to be kind to bees, free with his imagination and to dance round the kitchen whilst cooking.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/08/2017 15:24

and as such there's no need for 'Childism' to fight for society to recognise the rights of children.

Confused

That just means there's no label for fighting against child abuse. Yet plenty of people still do it.

Mumof56 · 07/08/2017 15:25

@cherry " potentially passing on an STI or impregnating her, the other doesn't"

All sex has the potential to pass on sti's. I though you said you understood that?

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 15:27

All sex has the potential to pass on sti's. I though you said you understood that

But if you have agreed to use a condom you are taking every reasonable step to prevent an STI.

For the record I think ANYONE lying about contraception in a consensual situation is out of order.

But not using a condom is more of a risk than not using the contraceptive pill.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/08/2017 15:31

All sex has the potential to pass on sti's. I though you said you understood that?

I do, but do you understand that agreeing to protected sex, then removing a condom without telling the woman, is non-consensual sex, aka rape?

Are you actually gonna state your point on this mum? Do you think condoms are pointless, and therefore secretly removing one is no big deal, because that's what I'm taking from your posts?

GetAHaircutCarl · 07/08/2017 15:33

mum you seem to be saying that because even protected sex has some risk of STI, then fooling someone into having unprotected sex isn't an issue? That the person is at risk anyway?

HolgerDanske · 07/08/2017 15:34

Again, I'm staggered.

Cherry, good on you for even bothering to engage. I would have neither the patience nor the inclination to make the effort that you have.

People never cease to amaze me with the breathtaking lack of faculty they bring to this type of discussion. And worse, their apparent pride in it.

Freddystarshamster · 07/08/2017 15:38

Are you having a breakdown?

And so the insults start. I'll give you this merchant. You're true to form. Exactly how I predicted it this morning. You misquote, re-word and generally just keep going at people in the supreme belief you're right. I've asked you time and time again exactly where I have said THOSE words. Not words you have changed or paraphrased but THOSE words.

But since we're now kicking it up a notch why the fuck not....

I believe feminism is for middle class women who are still upset Daddy didn't buy them a pony when they were 8. They ride rough shod over the backs of the working class women and not two fucks are given to how much worse we have it in life, let alone BME women and their problems. Feminism gives them that excuse, that permission to fail, because it's always someone else's fault. Didn't get that promotion?- patriarchy
Poor choice in life partner?- patriarchy
Not happy or fulfilled? -patriarchy

best of all it gives you permission to sneer and to bully without any of the judgement which comes with such behaviour.

You're a fucking supremacist group. Feminism and MRA two sides of the same pathetic life's losers coin.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/08/2017 15:38

Holger I feel more sorry for the 56 children out there who've probably never had a straight answer from their mum in their life.

"Mum can I have a biscuit"

"There's a very good chance that the biscuits are broken"

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"There's a very good chance that the biscuits are broken"

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/08/2017 15:40

I believe feminism is for middle class women who are still upset Daddy didn't buy them a pony when they were 8.

You're so right. No one really gives a shit about the 85,000 rape victims, or the babies having their clitorises cut off, that's all smoke and mirrors, our real goals are ponies! And high heels. How did you guess?!!

Mumof56 · 07/08/2017 15:41

Today 15:33 @GetAHaircutCarl

"mum you seem to be saying that because even protected sex has some risk of STI, then fooling someone into having unprotected sex isn't an issue? That the person is at risk anyway?"

Nope my point is (which I made earlier) is either party lying about contraceptive use are as bad as each other. Both (either lying about condoms or taking the pill) are both dreadful deceits that remove the consent given

Cherry et al are arguing that it's not as bad if a woman lies about taking the pill

BertrandRussell · 07/08/2017 15:41

"And so the insults start."

Blimey. You really think that's where the insults started? Hmm

pongoismyhero · 07/08/2017 15:42

I don't really know why people bang on about "in fighting" in feminism. There's in fighting everywhere. If you're a Tory you won't agree with every single other Tory about every single issue.

I won't and can't identify with liberal feminism and I won't apologise for that either - I can't condone most of what it stands for.

Mumof56 · 07/08/2017 15:43

@cherry "or the babies having their clitorises cut off, that's all smoke and mirrors, "

No, that's racism apparently. Where's @pain today?

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 07/08/2017 15:43

Wow Freddy, you really hate women don't you.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/08/2017 15:44

Cherry et al are arguing that it's not as bad if a woman lies about taking the pill

So you do believe that lying and rape aren't any worse than just lying?

Do you understand that one is rape and one is not? Because repeating it is getting boring.

And you definitely haven't cleared up your point about the STIs. I'm gonna take it hat you think condoms are pointless so removing one secretly is not a problem.

pongoismyhero · 07/08/2017 15:45

I believe feminism is for middle class women who are still upset Daddy didn't buy them a pony when they were 8. They ride rough shod over the backs of the working class women and not two fucks are given to how much worse we have it in life, let alone BME women and their problems

Raised on a council estate, Hispanic and did not have a Daddy to buy me a pony. HTH.

Mumof56 · 07/08/2017 15:45

@cherry

You obviously don't understand consent

SophoclesTheFox · 07/08/2017 15:46

Wow, freddy.

You're so wrong.

Daddy did buy me a pony Grin

More seriously though, what an unpleasantly sneery post you've made while you're accusing other people of sneering. I wonder what a Julie Bindel or a Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would make of your sweeping statement?

Mumof56 · 07/08/2017 15:49

@cherry" I'm gonna take it hat you think condoms are pointless so removing one secretly is not a problem."

ok cherry, you do that. You seem incapable of actually reading my posts where I stated my position several times on removing condoms

But you work away in your little fantasy if it makes you happy