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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - You don't bring a toddler to a hen do?

967 replies

whyhastherumgone · 05/08/2017 18:44

Okay, so maybe I'll be flamed by this but hopefully not.

Summary: I am organising hen do for good friend along with another friend of the bride. I don't really know the other friend, and I don't really know many of the other women who are coming because they're from different groups - ie her work, her old saturday job, her neighbour etc

Anyway I've worked really hard to try and organise everything - which is usually a nightmare anyway as people don't reply to confirm things etc etc, and have sorted out some activities etc and some lovely accommodation as well as dinner for one of the nights and a night out.

I've been out of action a little for a few days this week as I'm seven weeks pregnant and managed to get a bug that was going round, so I wasn't hot on messages and didn't see a few til yesterday.

The long and short of it is - despite everything being arranged, booked and paid for and taking place in two weeks, one of the women has now announced she will be bringing her toddler daughter and her partner because her daughter won't sleep unless she's there and her DP can't handle her tantrums when she gets hysterical, so they are both coming. DP will be there to watch her during the day at the accommodation, and they will all be coming to the meal on the friday night but we have to put the time back so it fits around her DD's feeding routine or something.

She also said she now needs a private room as she'll be with her DP and daughter - originally it's been organised in a beautiful converted barn and people are sharing, it was all previously discussed and agreed.

I'm a bit taken aback that I've just been told this - and the other woman who I'm organising it with has agreed - but it's too late for us to change the accommodation, I can't magic up an extra room and I think a toddler and partner at dinner is going to ruin the dynamic...

It's all a surprise for the bride so I haven't said anything to her as don't want to stress her out - my feeling is to go back and just say no, sorry this has all been prearranged as you know and this won't work....

Or am I being unfair?! I don't have children [yet] so I don't know if this is one of those things where actually people are going to say oh if her DD isn't sleeping then she has to work around that...

If it was a quiet, chilled out one then maybe - but there's going to be the classic hen do games, drinking games, a night out...it just seems a bit weird?

Gah. I hate hen dos. I'm going to be busy for the next one, washing my hair or something.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
3luckystars · 08/08/2017 09:19

A game of 'pin the baby on to daddy'
Song requests for her 'don't leave me this way, I can't survive, I can't stay alive, without your love, don't leave me this way. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh baby...,'

Etc.

We could definitely fill another thread with these!

3luckystars · 08/08/2017 09:21

Pin the knob on the hen party

whyhastherumgone · 08/08/2017 09:34

Here you go:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3000534-Toddzilla-Thread-2-No-Toddlers-at-the-hen-do-please?watched=1

Thank you to whoever coined Toddzilla - this thread has so many messages, I couldn't find you but I bow down to your wit and wisdom :D

OP posts:
whyhastherumgone · 08/08/2017 09:38

Oops not sure if that link works:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3000534-Toddzilla-Thread-2-No-Toddlers-at-the-hen-do-please?

OP posts:
Teutonic · 08/08/2017 10:04

Hello, can I come to the party please? I would have to bring my parents too though because they haven't been to a party for ages. They will be no trouble honest.
My mother will sit with a face like a smacked arse all night as she doesn't drink and can't stand any form of lewdness. She will be fine though as I will sit her in a corner with a lemonade with the various cats. She likes cats.
My father will be fine too, he will just get drunk and insist on dad dancing with various females.
Oh, and can the music volume not be too loud please because it will give my mother a headache if it is.
Can I bring the evil child catcher too. He can round up all the kids who have managed to sneak in and take them away.

On a serious note though, well done OP for putting a stop to it. I can't believe anyone could be so stupid and thick skinned to want to bring a child to such an event. The mind boggles.

drspouse · 08/08/2017 10:37

Teutonic your DM and my DM can sit together and complain about the volume. They will have a great time being miserable together.

GreenTulips · 08/08/2017 10:55

can I come to the party please?

Have you learnt nothing? You don't ask to come - you just rock up with any random stranger you meet on the way - take over the music and games get drunk a spew on the carpet -

Teutonic · 08/08/2017 11:58

Sorry GreenTulips. I consider my hands to be smacked. 😊
Great Drspouse. Will see you there, I'm sure our mother's will have a marvellous time yammering on about the youth of today and how it was much better in their day. 😂

HSMMaCM · 08/08/2017 13:05

If your parents are coming. My mum would love to come and comment on inappropriate outfits.

GreenTulips · 08/08/2017 14:03

I think we need more dad dancers and a few sulky teens? (Preferable sneaky alcohols drinkers)

I have one but misery needs company -

janthea · 08/08/2017 14:48

Perhaps I should bring my 3yr old and 5 yrs old grandson. They certainly would get the party going. There would be lots of talk about bums and boobies - very hen party!!

ByseddSosij · 08/08/2017 15:03

It's a no from me

MrWriter · 09/08/2017 12:57

Can I come too please, is there room on the bus for me, ds, dd and two fairly lively goats, the goats are clingy so I couldn't possibly leave them at home.

The only problem is that date doesn't suit me, can we push the wedding back to Christmas, who doesn't like a winter wedding, then have the hen night in November? It might be a bit cold for a night out in November, so maybe we could go to Tenerife or somewhere, could you arrange passports please for my goats. Ta x

bencrone03 · 12/08/2017 19:45

This is definitely not on, ffs she should either leave her dp and toddler at home and let him get on with it, or simply not go, will ruin the whole thing! She's the one being unreasonable not you! If I was her I'd be gagging for the chance of getting away for a few days

Katmeifyoucan · 17/08/2017 23:53

Am I too late? Is there room for one more?

It would just be myself, Dh, the 3 kids and the incontinent dog. Also my Mum was going to come over this weekend so can I bring her too?

ziggzagg · 25/08/2017 19:04

Is it this weekend? Please do update OP!!Grin

Cupoteap · 25/08/2017 20:10

See up thread for link to the 2nd thread!!!!!

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