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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think my date should have bought me a drink? Tight arse?

320 replies

Miamiabeer · 05/08/2017 10:01

Met a guy got on well.
Had two dates previous and split the bill 50/50 and always have done as I think the man shouldn't pay BUT last night we went out to the pub and I was ordering a cocktail and him a pint.
I said "oh il get this round and you can get the next"
He said "your cocktail costs more than my pint"
I didn't even think about the price,I just thought rather than us buying drinks separate.
So I just got the drinks separately.
I would of happily got a cheaper drink or got him a more expensive but at this point I was a bit taken back.
My cocktail was £4.25 and his best £3.65 so not a lot of difference.
Now I'm thinking he is a bit tight?

OP posts:
Wdigin2this · 05/08/2017 10:29

Ah well, that's him utbof the picture then!

stevie69 · 05/08/2017 10:29

Sorry, but that would be a deal breaker for me.

Of course I accept that people have differing levels of purchasing power; that's a given and I do always bear that in mind when out and about. However, the minuscule difference having been brought up at what should be a butterfly fluttering feeling stage would just completely turn me off Sad

S x

JigglyTuff · 05/08/2017 10:29

Yes, that bowling date should have been the last date. He's tighter than a badger's arse.

Beebee7 · 05/08/2017 10:31

He sounds awful. I would end it now, and tell him why.

Being tight fisted and mean with money is one of the most unattractive qualities in a man. (Or even a woman to be fair!)

The thing is, it will never end. If you have kids with him, (and go part time - or even give up work, as many women do,) he will deprive you of money, and only 'allow' you enough to feed the kids, and for your very basic needs. Whilst he spends frivolously on himself, on expensive hobbies, and nights out with the lads, with the mindset that he earned it so it's HIS money.

Trust me, I have seen this happen. And message forums like this are littered with threads and posts from women who it has happened to (or is happening to right now!!!)

I am not saying men should pay for everything, but I would be seriously put off a man who was this tight, squabbling over 55-60p! FFS! Hmm

I agree with the poster Stevie above ^ it would be a dealbreaker for me.

Run. Run for the hills. NOW!

Original poster
Miamiabeer · 05/08/2017 10:31

No I didn't say anything except "yeah I'm thirsty too"
He just laughed ..
He is either a bit dopey or just ignorant at times.
Apart from that he is lovely but like people have said could you rely on him?

OP posts:
londonista · 05/08/2017 10:31

Didn't read anything before or after "£3.65 pint". Where is this magical place?! Or did you time travel back to 1998 for your date?? 😂

Bluerose27 · 05/08/2017 10:32

Oh God. Awful. Even if in the cocktail example your drink was twice the price of his it would balance over time - maybe at dinner you'd have chicken and he'd have steak or whatever.

A friend of went on a date with a guy. Her meal was maybe £16 so she left £20 , tip incl. His was £20. He went up to pay with s voucher he had and kept her change/the tip!! First and last date!

Beebee7 · 05/08/2017 10:33

£3.65 sounds about right for a pint of beer.

What kind of drinking places do YOU frequent @Londonista?

Bluerose27 · 05/08/2017 10:34

Nope you couldn't rely on him. You might "borrow" 50p off him one day for parking and he'd remind you.

You don't need him in your life!

CockacidalManiac · 05/08/2017 10:35

£3.65 sounds about right for a pint of beer.

Yeah, I thought that too.

MudCity · 05/08/2017 10:35

So unattractive and petty. Move on!

jay55 · 05/08/2017 10:36

The bowling thing was worse, second date and he could only think of himself.

brightlightceiling · 05/08/2017 10:36

This is the kind of man that won't let you buy proper shoes for your children while buying an expensive camera for themselves because they need it. Dump him.

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2017 10:38

Tell us what happened on the first date. Did you meet him online? Did you buy the first drink?

Joinourclub · 05/08/2017 10:39

You can do better.

RiseToday · 05/08/2017 10:39

Deeply unattractive.

Dump him.

Hapaxlegomenon · 05/08/2017 10:39

I could never go out with someone like that. The beginning is the time he's supposed to be trying to impress you the most!

This may be a bit old fashioned of me, and I wouldn't mind a 50/50 split, but would be more charmed if the guy I was on a date with insisted on paying. But I guess that was before tinder...

ShelaghTurner · 05/08/2017 10:40

Run a mile. I can’t bear tightarsed people. DH is a prince among men, truly lovely bloke, loving husband, wonderful father, but he is a tightarse. He’s a lot better in the 20 years I’ve ground him down known him but his default setting is tight and it does drive me a little crazy, and he’s nowhere near as bad as your charmer. If you ended up in a relationship with him you will be fighting this for the duration, trust me. Kids want to go to cinema? Nope. It’ll cost too much. Kid wants dancing lessons? Nope. Needs new shoes? A three page proposal will need submitting. I get mild grief for giving our girls lunch in M&S cafe for a tenner, which they LOVE! Seriously, don’t.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2017 10:40

That is very unattractive, I would dump him, there is more to come like this.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 05/08/2017 10:40

Yanbu op. I wonder why he is single? Grin

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 05/08/2017 10:41

Run from this one!

Viviennemary · 05/08/2017 10:42

That isn't very promising for any kind of long term relationship. He is determined not to give a penny more than he should. Ditch him.

Betsy86 · 05/08/2017 10:43

Oh hell no if he cant even buy you a drink get out now. Lifes to short

Flyinggeese · 05/08/2017 10:44

OP I agree with others that the bowling date would have been the last for me. He just bought a drink for himself?! That's bad.

I wonder if he's really skint and just doesn't know what to do? Either way, I'd not continue seeing him. He should be mature enough enough to say if things are tight and suggest something else to do that's low or no cost.

What a pain though if he's great in all other ways. Is he?

Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2017 10:45

He was being serious too...
Our second date we went bowling and I noticed his drink was getting low so on my way back from loo I got us the drinks.
Then after he drank that he went to bar and came back with just a pint for himself

This would be a no no, rude, impolite, and selfish. Run for the hills op, being mean is an unattractive trait. He is not lovely at all!

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