My 14 year old has just came home drunk!

[sunnnydays]

And I don't know what to do!

He told me he was going to a friend's house nearby, I know his friend group and they are fairly responsible , all the popular kids though so this might not be the first time I'm very lost on what to do, as my parents just sent me to bed with a glass of water when I came in drunk, age 12!!

We live in a rougher part of Glasgow so underage drinking/smoking is very normalised and I don't want his friends to make fun of him if it turns out he's the only one not allowed to drink! To be fair, he did come home at 11pm instead of 11:30 like we agreed. (friend's house he was allegedly at lives a few doors down)

Do I wait to hear back from the other parents? Let him get on with it or give him into trouble? I don't want him to feel like he can't trust me, a few months ago DD(13) came to tell me she had smoked a few times and felt bad for not telling me (we talked about the bad side affects of smoking and she said she didn't want "manky hair or nails" so stopped!)

I've got my hard hat on, please help!

sunnydays

My daughter is 13 and I'm going to be a total hypocrite to say I'm dreading this. I'm a hypocrite because I first got drunk in the street and smoked at 14. Resplendent in my Fila puffa jacket, Naff Naff top and banana clip holding my curly perm in place I downed 33 Export, snogged the local wide boy and danced outside the town hall to The Prodigy from his ghetto blaster. Embassy Red were my cigarettes of choice and fumbles behind the local high school were thrilling. Though I look back fondly, while cringing, I really REALLY don't want this for my daughter. She's still my baby.

As everyone on here says; all normal kids do it. It's partly to test their boundaries with you as their parents, but also not wanting to look or behave differently in front of their peers.

I'd be inquisitive as to where they brought the alcohol from. DS may not let in, in fear of getting others into trouble.

I find it odd, personally. When they're under age, it's a far more exciting proposition. When it's legal when they're 18, the thrill has definitely gone. Having said that though, when we looked into our drinks cabinet recently which, tbh, we hardly touch a few bottles had disappeared and a few more had not a lot in them. DS put it down to evoporation😂. Yeah right and pigs fly now, I told DS. He was unusually quiet, bright red and muttering. He knew he'd been rumbled and wasn't going to live it down. Oh boy, didn't he get teased on holiday!😂DC are now both post 18, btw.

He must have been bricking it for several months though, because we'd booked a holiday cottage for DH, Me, DD, her very long term b/f and DS and his g/f. I'd announced various things we were going to do/or not. One of the do's was to bring the alcoholic beverage that each of us was partial too. DS went very quiet. I soon found out why. Little minx!🙄 Anyway, regardless, we had a great time, so relaxed and generally having good fun and a great laugh.

My underlying thought here, was that DH and I were actually setting an example to all four of the post 18 children. Having a drink, no driving, not drinking too much, being sensible, whilst having good fun and a great laugh. Not that we said a word.

It must have been ok as they're really looking forward to our next break! Even to the point of planning it. I feel very blessed.😊

Studies have shown that parents who forbid drinking and take a hardline attitude to underage drinking have kids who do better around alcohol in the long run. Although kids will experiment we
, as parents, cannot condone it and have to have zero tolerance for it at 14..Kids expect parents to clamp down.

Ippydippyskyblue As everyone on here says; all normal kids do it.

Sorry but I completely disagree and think it's a little cruel to imply that if a child doesn't drink underage they're not 'normal'. I teach in a secondary in a pretty rough area- prime area for underage drinking- and yet actually I'd say probably at least half of year 9 and at least a third of year 10 kids never drink. Obviously that's a rough estimation, but those are my conservative estimates based on 'worst case scenario'.

Some official stats here for you: Underage drinking remains fairly prevalent: according to the most recent data, around two-fifths (38%) of English 11–15-year-olds have tried alcohol.[1] In Scotland, the figure is 32% for 13-year-olds and 70% for 15-year-olds.[2] However, in both countries, there is evidence that this has been falling, having peaked around 2002–2003. Moreover, the decline appears to be accelerating, with sharper drops since 2009. from www.ias.org.uk/Alcohol-knowledge-centre/Underage-drinking/Factsheets/Prevalence-of-underage-drinking.aspx

Perper I agree! If getting pissed and into danger before you've even finished growing is "normal" then I want a NEW normal!

Can you imagine if this had been posted on netmums?

When we went to a festival this year where you're only allowed to buy alcohol off them, me and DP were filling up bottles with drink and DS advised us that Vodka was odourless so "they can't get you for it"!

He knew he'd given the game away. To be fair, he's 16 so it's kind of expected at that age!