AIBU to expect working husband to help with baby at night?

[JoySaidThat]

DH works Monday - Friday (either 7am-3.30pm, 8am-4.30pm,9am-5.30pm weekly rota)

Most of the time baby (DD) sleeps quite well, only waking briefly for a nappy change 1 or 2 times. On occasions when she's teething like this week she's literally woken up 7 times through the night - FML

She sleeps in her own room but we have a monitor in ours so can both clearly hear her when she wakes up and cries - DH refuses to go mid week (even weekends is a push!) because he works!

AIBU to expect him bloody well help once in a while seeing as I have to then spend the entire day every single day looking after the baby. It's a full time job with no rest bite - I hardly even nap when she sleeps during the day because I clean, cook, wash the clothes etc - DH must think the magic fairy does all this for him!

DH also has a very active social life and is out at least once a week - don't get me wrong, I could go out if I wanted to as well, only I'm too bloody tired to want to 99% of the time!

It just pisses me off massively that working partners no matter how modern they claim to be still assume them going to work each day (in a modern young fun office environment) justifies doing F all to help with their own kids!

BasketofDeplorables, I always took the maximum maternity leave, I certainly wasn't ready to go back to work after 2 weeks or even 2 months and I definitely wasn't ready to leave the baby. I enjoyed my maternity leave, well once the stitches healed, I can't imagine going back after 2 weeks. I know someone who was still at work when she went into labour, well I know 2 but one was very prem so a bit different. I was always glad to have a few weeks at home with other children before the new one arrived. I guess we are all different.

granny, I worked up to my due date (bit ended up a week overdue) as I'm self employed so couldn't justify turning the work down. I also did some work pretty early on after I had my first, as it was essential for something I was going to do later in the year, so similar to keeping in touch days if you're employed. If money wasn't an issue I wouldn't have done either and wouldn't be working now, as it's bloody knackering.

I'm really thinking from a public health point of view - How many women really bounce back from birth straight away and have had anywhere near enough sleep to go back to work? I'm aware women may need to, but that says something is wrong with our society IMHO.

I'd suggest acting a role reversal.... maybe find some temp work or voluntary, or even just go off and visit a friend.
Make hubby take a few days off work to take over your roles, and list everything he will now be responsible for.
Expect clean ironed clothes and dinner on the table etc, everything you would do for him, and he does night duty too.
Sometimes the only way to gain an appreciation for a job is to do it.
See how he feels after 3-4 days 😆

BasketofDeplorables, I agree it is terrible for mothers to be forced back to work so quickly, different I suppose if it is a choice but I can't imagine feeling like going back to work after 2 weeks.

I've told my DD that when she goes on maternity leave I will give her £1,000 a month after the first six weeks so that she can take the year off. She wants to take the year off but earns more than her partner and like most young couples who are lucky enough to buy a house they have a big mortgage.

I'm not normally a judgey person but a neighbour who is always bragging about her new car, 4 week holiday to USA or wherever was telling me her DD is having to go back to work after 2nd baby, she has had 4 months off. Her mum was saying what a shame it was and how sad her DD was. I so had to bite my tongue as I wanted to ask her if she had thought of maybe helping her to have a bit longer off. None of my business so my tongue got well bitten but I feel sad for her DD.

Yes, I do wonder just how many women would go back very quickly purely because they want to, rather than because they need the money, they fear that they will fall behind etc.

Friends had a great solution (well, we thought so) which was her DH was 'on duty' until midnight. The DW would go to bed at between 8-9 (if they knew a tough night was approaching, e.g. a cold or regression etc.) and from midnight, DW would then be 'on duty' until the morning. Worth a shot perhaps?