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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On trip with friends is so with parenting styles

266 replies

revolution909 · 03/08/2017 18:12

So I'm over in France with some very good friends but problems have finally arisen... It turns out they want to stay in the pool and I want to go out and explore. (we only have one car). But anyways the way I see it, the kids yes might get bored but at least they'd get some "culture" out of it. I was raised that way, and frankly I thank my parents for that. Other minor issue was that they chose a mega tacky restaurant for lunch that I really did t want to go, but there was no way I could change their mind and thought they could compromise. So yes AIBU for being annoyed with them?

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 03/08/2017 18:26

Why haven't you done your own thing all week? It's your own fault if you've gone along with their plans while seething inside, just because you're away together doesn't mean you have yo do everything together

Sirzy · 03/08/2017 18:27

I'm getting increasingly confused what the problem is supposed to be.

Original poster
revolution909 · 03/08/2017 18:28

I've been doing bits on my own as well that's the only way I would get some of the things I like, but I'd like to take my family too, and I'm happy to take their kids too of that means my daughter will happily come, but they don't seem to like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
revolution909 · 03/08/2017 18:30

The problem is that we wasted a day yesterday because they weren't clear from the start. And we wasted our only meal out to a place they only wanted to go to, but given we hadn't been cool since the mega waste of a day that yesterday was, I didn't want to push it further, even though I made it clear I thought there were probably better options.

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 03/08/2017 18:31

Frankly you sound like the Holiday Pain In The Arse of this group. There's always one.

Sirzy · 03/08/2017 18:32

Don't worry. I doubt they will be asking you along again any time soon!

Mumof56 · 03/08/2017 18:32

So you've got to the culture in the morning. Why are you determined their children should go? Bring you own if you must but being annoyed their children aren't forcred to go is bizarre

Original poster
revolution909 · 03/08/2017 18:33

But I've only done what they've wanted so I don't know how I am the problem

OP posts:
Original poster
revolution909 · 03/08/2017 18:34

Well so mine can go? Also they'd get a day for themselves, so what's the problem? How is culture seen as so bad/boring?

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 03/08/2017 18:35

No one was stopping you from doing your own thing. It's not their fault you have some weird notion that holidays should be boring and improving.

DonaldStott · 03/08/2017 18:35

If I was 6 and had a choice between playing in the pool all day, or visiting an archaeological site, I know what I'd prefer.

Just because your parents forced you, doesn't mean you have to carry on the 'tradition'.

viques · 03/08/2017 18:36

" I don't know how I am the problem" .Well maybe you have been making faces at their choice of restaurant, or sighing heavily with boredom at the pool, or making pointed remarks to your child about how your parents took you to sites of archeological interest.

I'd stop worrying now, as you say, tomorrow is the last day ,and I have a feeling you won't be invited to share another holiday with this family.

honeylulu · 03/08/2017 18:36

You seem rather determined to not enjoy yourself.

Sparklingbrook · 03/08/2017 18:37

A wild west themed restaurant sounds amazing.

littlemisssweetness · 03/08/2017 18:37

Then go on your own?

IdentifiesAsYoda · 03/08/2017 18:38

No good can come of going on holiday with Other People. mark my words (usually).

DonaldStott · 03/08/2017 18:38

How is culture seen as so bad/boring?

Cos it is boring if you're a kid. Unless is an interactive museum where kids can immerse themselves in the experience.

If you're just looking at tapestries or models of ships, it's shite.

allegretto · 03/08/2017 18:39

Also it was a wild west themed restaurant in France

YANBU. I have been to that restaurant. Worst meal ever. The rest you should be able to compromise on.

littlebird7 · 03/08/2017 18:40

You are making such a big thing of this, and quite frankly I am sure you are really getting on their nerves. T

hey are trying to relax and enjoy the sun (and so they should if they knew what it was like here) they don't want to trudge in the heat with bored kids who would rather be playing in the pool.

No doubt they are enjoying plenty of culture in the tacky restaurant you so kindly describe!

Sorry Op but you sound exhausting...

f83mx · 03/08/2017 18:40

I don't understand - your adult friends can do what they like, they're not pushing you to stay in the pool but you want to push them to go sight seeing?. Your daughter is 6 so you take her with you unless they offer to keep her at the pool, surely one car isn't a problem as they are staying put..... ??? You're probably not suited to sharing holidays - lesson learnt for next time!

DPotter · 03/08/2017 18:40

culture and exploring are not the problem. being clear that you want to see / experience culture and go off exploring is. Its all about managing expectations.

Bit late for this year, but in future, before you go on holiday explain to your children that it will not be every day by the pool / on the beach - there will be visits too. And for a 6yr old - its not up for negotiation and you manage any whining firmly. can't stand whiny children, or adults for that matter.

And before agreeing to holiday with another family, do the same with them - we always have an arrangement that daytime is up to each family (share the car etc ) and most evenings are together, unless there's reciprocal baby sitting.

Sparklingbrook · 03/08/2017 18:41

Is there only one wild west themed restaurant in France? Shock

Sirzy · 03/08/2017 18:42

When you have children then holidays mainly become about them. One or two things that they don't enjoy is one thing but dragging them around all week less so!

You seem to think it's ok to drag a bored child around. Not really going to make her grow to love Culture really is it!

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 03/08/2017 18:43

So they are being led by what the children want and you want to do culture and force the children to tag along? It's their holiday too, go off on your own if you want a museum and leave the children to do something they enjoy.

user1497557435 · 03/08/2017 18:43

Oh God. Holiday nazi. They're as entitled as you to chose & enjoy their holiday

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