To tell my manager in no uncertain terms to fucking stop

[Lagjet]

Texting me the day or evening before I'm due back at work after a holiday just to say 'hope you've had a great time, just checking you are back in tomorrow'

I'm not a fucking child, I book my holidays with you and you put them in outlook, also I set my out of office with my return date so don't pretend you don't know when I'm coming back.

Ive worked there 26 years, her much, much less. Ive never, ever not gone back to work when I'm meant to but two years on the trot now she's done this.

It's not just checking I'm coming back in, it's a PA way of bringing me back down to earth and reminding that tomorrow I'll be back at her beck and call.

She's meant to be a 'friend' too but I know there's an undercurrent of something that she feels the need to remind me where I am. There's definitely an element of jealousy about my family (I have kids, she doesn't) and my lifestyle.

So bloody annoying, Ive not replied. I'll go to work tomorrow as I'm meant to!!!

I don't think it's that bad, tbh!

I think she's just checking that she has got the dates right and nothing has happened to stop you returning to work the next day. It's normal. CHILL.

I'm guilty of this with my lessons, texting students to see if we're still ok for a lesson if it's been a while since I saw them, or they've been away.
It's borne out of my own anxiety, which drives me to check even though I know it's all probably fine, and also out of experiences with other, less reliable people who have let me down in the past.
In other words OP, probably nothing at all to do with you. And even though I'm guilty of it, I know it's annoying.

I don't need micromanaging to that extent. If I wasn't able to come to work I'd let her know!

I don't think that's normal, I would be mightily pissed off as well.

And definitely not replying.

YABU.

Sounds fine to me... she's just being thorough, not criticising

Fuckity fuck.

YANBU

I forgot about a Monday morning meeting straight after a holiday a few years ago. My boss now texts me on Sunday night "hope you had a nice week off, don't forget we are at tomorrow at 9, meet you in the costa opposite"

I'm convinced she just wants to ruin my last few hours of not thinking about work.

This would annoy me, Lagjet. Like you, I'm an adult and I turn up to work when expected. Also, I don't expect to be contacted by work when I'm on holiday. I would not text back either. It's difficult if she is a 'friend' as well as a boss but I would personally ask her to refrain in future from contacting you about work related matters when you are on leave.

Is it a work phone? If so don't turn it on until you're working.
Your personal number. Ask for it not to be used for business purposes.
She's probably like me and wants to check there have been no last minute travel or medical problems. I suffer with anxiety and hate the unknown.

Im with you OP. I'd be very annoyed.

Personal phone. I actually said to DH I'd get a message at some point today and lo and behold I got it about 2 hours later. All bright and breezy with the kisses at the end. Ive been away 19 days and posted holiday stuff on Facebook etc. She's not commented or liked any post (which is fine) but then feels the need to text me the night before I'm due back, those last couple of hours bliss at the end of a holiday.

It's made unreasonably livid.

Assuming you're over 18 and you don't start work until 9 o'clock the following day .... she can fuck off until 9 o'clock

If you have a meeting first thing maybe, or if something has been arranged whilst you were away then possibly fair enough, but if not you don't need to hear from her until you start work. This would really piss me right off. You're right it is PA. I'd send her a PA one back dripping with sarcasm.

If she said looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, then it maybe, possibly acceptable but tbh I really don't want to hear from my boss before I'm due to start work.

I can confirm I'm over 18 and start work at 9am 😃

I'll be having words tomorrow.

She sounds like a control freak. Some employees call in sick the day they are meant to come back. Since you have not done that for 2 years, I would assume she could relax by now and not infantilise you.

As she's needlessly texting your private phone in a work capacity I think you're perfectly entitled to give her a suitable PA reply.

"Yes of course I'm back tomorrow! Next time I'll set a calendar reminder for you so you don't need to text me. LOL!"

If that's her worst crime....... then you are quite lucky.

My holiday dates are in her (and my) calendar. There's just no need for it.

Perhaps you should panic her and say you're booked off for another week yet

send her a text "hope you have been getting on all right, don't forget I will be back at work on Monday"

you can send one a day for the week before your return if you feel like it.

I think you should turn it round on her and reassure her that she's got the date right, and you will indeed be in on that day. You can stretch it by telling her not to worry you'll always keep her right regarding your return. 😉

I would reply "yes I am back at work tomorrow. If I wasn't going to be back tomorrow I would notify you tomorrow morning as per our work absence policy".

Then I would collar her for an 'informal' chat tomorrow and ask her not to text you in future when you are on annual leave - which you officially are until 9am tomorrow.

Yeah, I'd be annoyed too. I manage the vacation calendar in Outlook for our office personnel, never yet felt the need to remind any of my coworkers when they are due back, they wouldn't take to that any more kindly than the OP has done. I kinda figure they're adults and don't need me to babysit them.

Wow doesn't she have enough to do?

You could reply will "yes, will you be in tomorrow?" she replies "yes" you say "at 9:00?" She says "yes" you say "good! See you then xxxx"

Tee hee