To tell my manager in no uncertain terms to fucking stop

[Lagjet]

Texting me the day or evening before I'm due back at work after a holiday just to say 'hope you've had a great time, just checking you are back in tomorrow'

I'm not a fucking child, I book my holidays with you and you put them in outlook, also I set my out of office with my return date so don't pretend you don't know when I'm coming back.

Ive worked there 26 years, her much, much less. Ive never, ever not gone back to work when I'm meant to but two years on the trot now she's done this.

It's not just checking I'm coming back in, it's a PA way of bringing me back down to earth and reminding that tomorrow I'll be back at her beck and call.

She's meant to be a 'friend' too but I know there's an undercurrent of something that she feels the need to remind me where I am. There's definitely an element of jealousy about my family (I have kids, she doesn't) and my lifestyle.

So bloody annoying, Ive not replied. I'll go to work tomorrow as I'm meant to!!!

It would irritate me too. Unreasonable or not!

Mountain over a molehill IMHO. Just ignore and make no mention of it when you see her. Letting her know that something so trivial has got to you is probably just what she wants if there is indeed some jealousy about your lifestyle on her part.

So interesting all the differences of opinion on this!

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I wonder if that is because I absolutely love my job?

OP you mention that there are other difficulties between you and your boss, do you think this is colouring your reaction? Could you look for another job as you clearly aren't happy there if you are talking about your last few hours of not thinking about work in this way. Is this a sort of tip of the iceberg thing?

You've been off for quite a chunk of time and are returning mid week - because of both of these reasons, I think YABU. She obviously doesn't want to cover an extra day if you're back. I think you've got post holiday blues, don't let her disorganisation spoil what sounds like a lovely break away.

Can you temporarily block your manager each time you go on leave, then reinstate the ability to receive messages from her once you're back at work? Not convinced that getting angry with her will be helpful.

This is annoying and it does make you wonder why she does it!!!

Maybe she is told to by her manager?

I can tell you that my husband has the same thing happening to him - exactly. His fucking (female) manager who doesn't even 'like' any of his posts on facebook, or acknowledge anything he puts - ever, always feels the need to send a private message when he is on holiday, saying 'hi, hope you''re ok. Looking forward to seeing you Monday the 10th (or whatever date.') He has a mobile but he has only had it 4 or 5 months, and hasn't given the number to them yet (for this reason! Because he gets badgered!) And they don't have our landline number. Only the very select few get THAT.

Worse still, he was written off sick with an injury earlier this year, and put his sick note in from 20th March to 13th April I think it was. She was on holiday at the time he put it in, and on 26th March, (the day she got back to work,) she sent him a private message on facebook asking him to ring her so they could have a 'chat.' He didn't ring her, he actually sent a message back, saying he was still struggling with his injury, and he will see her on 15th April when he returns to work, and then he deactivated his facebook til he got back.

I am not 100%, sure, but I think what she has done (and the manager in the OP,) is against the law. I am sure you are not meant to bother employees on vacation or on sick. I am happy to be corrected.

Reasonable contact (within context, ie an employee off sick for work related stress may find work contact exacerbates it so may suggest that they communicate via email on agreed days etc) whilst employees are off sick is fine and is actually best practice, especially as employers are within their rights to request the employee attends any return to work meetings or meetings to discuss their sickness and how the employer can facilitate a safe return to work.

Depends on the duration of course, 20th March - 13th April sounds a very reasonable amount of time for a Manager to make contact to discuss things.

People wrongly assume that you can shove a fit note in and not be bothered until the return date, this is simply not true.

it is also ok to contact employees while on annual leave IF the company has been supplied with contact numbers and the employee hasn't expressed before that they dont want the company to do this (unless in the case of real emergency obvs). A friendly text after 19 days is not against any law - again context is everything.

Ignore the fuckers and let them sweat.

Beebee7
why does it matter that his manager is female? It obviously matters to you, but reasonably why?

Why are you angry the manager doesn't acknowledge your DH private posts on FB? Are you that outraged she might not actually care?

The manager was more than reasonable to try to contact an employee on sick leave, and ONCE! (only once). It's not bothering anyone to check how he was, if he would need help of some kind and to discuss his return.

You need to calm down, most people get on with their job, you are not being embarrassed because someone sends you a message or makes a phone call. You are completely over the top.

I'm convinced she just wants to ruin my last few hours of not thinking about work.

I'd think the same thing. And it WOULD ruin the last few hours of my holiday. YANBU.

I think my DH's (female) manager has popped up on this thread. PMSL!

waves to 'coddiwomple.' up there ^^

I didn't know you used mumsnet LOL! I'll let DH know I have spotted you!

Block her number as you leave and unblock when you return?

That is totally unacceptable. She should assume you're back when you're due back unless she hears otherwise. It would get on my tits being reminded that I was due back at work the night before

I'm totally with you op. Being micromanaged is soul destroying. My old boss was so bad that she called me on my birthday whilst I was on a family holiday abroad to ask a question about work that wasn't my responsibility. And called me whilst I was in hospital about ordering pens.

@Pollydonia

I'm totally with you op. Being micromanaged is soul destroying. My old boss was so bad that she called me on my birthday whilst I was on a family holiday abroad to ask a question about work that wasn't my responsibility. And called me whilst I was in hospital about ordering pens.

Something similar happened to me about 10 years ago when we were on holiday in France. I was on the 4th day of a 7 day trip, and my supervisor called me on my mobile to ask some shit about a stationary order that I did that was short by 100 envelopes. I said 'I am on holiday with my family.'

He said 'I know, and I won't keep you long ... When did you send the order, how can I access it? What's your password blah blah.' I said I cannot stop as I am in a theme park right now! Then I hung up and turned my phone off for the rest of the trip. I was fucking raging and it ruined the last 2-3 days of my trip, as all I could think about was this arsehole phoning me when I was on holiday with my family!

Some bosses may live and breathe work but I don't!

Thank God I don't have to tolerate that shit anymore!

Completely unnecessary text from your boss but completely ott reaction from you. You sound wound up and angry, perhaps you need a holiday!

It wouldn't bother me at all. I would assume it's a quick check that the flights weren't delayed, that you haven't picked up a dodgy tummy, whatever.

I've never heard of anyone being babied in this manner you brought on yourself by being friends and FB buddies.

What a storm in a teacup! I think you're being very paranoid to assume she's doing it deliberately to ruin your holiday.

Sort of thing my boss would do but only because I always say if I win the lottery I won't be back. Wouldn't bother me but I get on well with my boss.

Mountain over a molehill IMHO

Yep

but I think what she has done (and the manager in the OP,) is against the law.

No it really isn't!

The expression is making a mountain out of a molehill. In this case it's not even a molehill.

Beebee7

As I never use Facebook to contact any of my team, I seriously doubt it. Even if I was, I am not sure why you think "outing" me to your DH would bother me?
You don't even know if I am male or female btw. You do sound to have a very extreme reaction because your DH boss happens to be female, why is that?

I really can't see what the issue is about a manager contacting an employee once. Someone else will moan that no one bothered checking if they were ok. Some people are just childish and ridiculous sorry.