AIBU to think that there are a lot of people on here who are really quite rude?

[Goonergirl78]

I'm just a watcher from the sidelines really, but I have to say there are times when I read a post and some of the harsh and quite frankly hurtful things people say really do shock me. Am I being too sensitive???

Nope. I'm a bit of a watcher too and it's pretty rough going on AIBU. I often think posters can't do right for doing wrong sometimes.

Not at all, some dreadful behaviour on here!

I wonder if many of these rude people hide behind a keyboard but would never say it to people's faces

Fuck off then

That's the thing really. People know what it's like so they should post expecting brutal honesty. There are loads of other forums on MN and elsewhere where you can go and get sympathy and a handhold and if you're not prepared for it then go to them.

In terms of the AIBU, sometimes it is healthy and constructive for people to be told they're being a bit of a dick.

Sometimes the brutal honesty ends in "you're a terrible mother and should give up your child" or "your husband is an abuser" because he's a bit shit and doesn't do the washing up.

Or depending on how well the OP is liked, if they don't include something they don't feel is relevant in their post they're either patted on the back and or laughed down for "drip feeding".

Like geez, maybe they didn't realise that the questions asked were relevant?

I think without hearing peoples tone and being able to see body language etc, sometimes maybe things come across not as intended.
Some people may have reasons for coming across as different from social norms.
Some people are just rude fucks, and there are plenty of them in real life also, and if we are aware of them in real life we just know to avoid which you cant do on a screen as easily.

Why can't a poster just expect honesty? Why does it need to be brutal or rude?. I'm all for honesty but it can get quite nasty quite quickly on here. With arguments breaking out that don't actually involve the OP or the AIBU subject.

There's no need for some of the rudeness and downright nastiness on here

I am never rude or horrible to anyone, either on here or in RL

I think some of the replies posters get are awful, and I've noticed a change in the eight years I've been on here

Mumsnet has been a wonderful support to me through various issues, but I don't see many of those posters any more

I enjoy the honesty. What you're seeing here is what people are thinking, but never say to your face in real life. What's not to like

I used to post more, under a different name. One day not long ago I started a thread about something that had happened to me that day, something that really shook me. I got some really lovely replies and confidence boosting comments; but as the thread went on, the replies turned quite nasty. People started questioning my character, suggesting that I had invented part of the story, and that I had provoked the situation. I hadn't, but in that moment it really made me doubt myself.

It was really upsetting.

I've changed my username, and I doubt I will be posting again if I'm feeling a little fragile and in need of support. Shame really.

So no, yanbu.

inkzooka
The drip feed comment, is one of my bug bears, sometimes there is a drip feed, but sometimes things are just added as a development of the conversation the same as what happens in real life.

@hatesummer

😁😁

Gosh, come and live in France if you think AIBU is 'rude'.

There is a competivness here esp recently to be the first in with a MN "smart remark/insult". Then rip someone to shreds.

I had a long break from MN and seriously considering another because a lot of the posters are trolls, scrambling for a mention in the media or to become "MN Royalty" and seriously if you give a shit about any of being those three things you need to take a good hard look at your life.

Real people post on here and get hurt.

I'm tempted to ask if there is some kind of set procedure for becoming MN Royalty.

Also sick of the "shouldn't you have posted on relationships/step parenting" when there has been an ongoing Trump thread on AIBU for fucking months which SHOULD BE IN POLITICS - and don't start me on the fucking Gender threads.

I'm all for honesty but does it really have to be brutal honesty? You can be honest with someone and not be rude about it. I agree that maybe some people hide behind the anonymity and wouldn't say it to someone in the real world.

No it doesn't except on MN it apparently does

You can have a different opinion from somebody else, but there are ways to say it without being as savage as fuck. I lurk, have never started a thread, and don't intend to, not with the nastiness on here

There are threads elsewhere and bored to fuck people alert other bored to fuck people and pile in - I swear

There is never any need to name call, and there is a lot of that these days.

Just reading on another thread about someone being called "pathetic". Really? Why? How is that helpful or constructive, it isn't. It just makes the poster who types that comment feel, mistakenly, a little bit better and superior to someone having a shit time.

It can be hateful on here

I do think it a bit unnecessary when the 45th person wades in on the op with the same kicking. Especially if the op has pretty much admitted they may be wrong early in the thread.