AIBU to think that there are a lot of people on here who are really quite rude?

[Goonergirl78]

I'm just a watcher from the sidelines really, but I have to say there are times when I read a post and some of the harsh and quite frankly hurtful things people say really do shock me. Am I being too sensitive???

Hi all,

While we don't mind a general thread - can we avoid singling out specific posters? We don't think it's quite cricket, and will remove reported posts.

Thank you Katherine.

AIBU has always been robust, and all the better for it, but there does seem to be much more aggression and insulting language than there used to be.

Some threads are doomed, because one of the Arsehole Squad will wade in very early and give the OP a pasting, whether it's deserved or not. Cue other members joining the feeding frenzy.

And absolutely not naming names, but there are posters who I will actively avoid, because of their contrariness and rudeness.

But overall, the kindness, support and humour that most posters demonstrate easily outweighs the bad.

I also agree with the person who said use other forums. I've taken that on board

This is nice in theory. I posted once for help on Mental Health and received help from one kind person and three others who decided to take me apart. The thread was removed when I asked, but I certainly won't be asking for help there again. I just don't really understand why anyone would attack someone who is asking for help.

I am nicer on here than i am in real life

But there are posters i do not and will not engage with

Not many

There's plenty of places on Talk that are nicer than AIBU. It's depressing that the nastiest bit of Mumsnet gets the most traffic. It feels like IDK, Jeremy Kyle or something like that - that sort of wilful misunderstanding and withholding of sympathy, a wish to come on and be pissed off. It's really toxic when it happens.
The only time I think a kicking is richly deserved is when someone registers and then comes on here specifically to tell us about some mother who has pissed them off. "AIBU to resent this breeder taking up space in a cafe with kids who make noises out of their mouths and everything". Even when they are slightly reasonable I still hate them. I feel like they are deputising us to be the voice of mumdom which, you know... sod off.

I am nicer on here than i am in real life

So am I!
But I have been accused to be a goady bitch on here, which is a bit of a worry

coddi

Thats definitely a worry!!

As said on another thread that has since been removed, I think the constant "attacking" of the poster especially if they admitted they were wrong on say the second or third page is I imagine a lot of people are completely dumbfounded or shocked by the OP and don't want to wade through thirteen or so pages of thread to add their reply. Hence there seems to be a steady flow of "Do you really have to ask"? "What on earth are you thinking"? "Of COURSE YABU" etc etc. Someone could have already made this point but I couldn't be bothered to get to the end of the thread before posting

Fango

Nowt wrong with liberal but a whole site full is boring. You just get the same old points of view trotted out and that's no debate. Much better now to have lots of diversity and views.

Honesty is one thing and oft appreciated but some people clearly are on MN to have a pop, especially if someone is vulnerable. Bullies basically. The late evenings and weekend evenings are worst.

I havnt read many threads on here from a vulnerable person who has been torn to shreds to be honest quite the contrary.

True nasty bullying should be reported and is dealt with.

It can be vile around here at times but I tend to stand back and simply observe/absorb with getting tangled up. There are many posters who appear very bitter, their responses become predictable.

I have posted new threads a few times, mostly health stuff and nothing particularly contentious although I enjoyed being harangued for not believing in a toilet brush recently.

What other forums are there anyway? Is there anything as entertaining as MN? I can't find any...

*without

Yes there are some shockingly rude, nasty and downright vicious posters on here. Some of them can turn the most innocuous thread into a total bunfight. The problem with these thugs is that they put off some really interesting, witty, and worthwhile posters who just can’t be bothered when they’ve been pointlessly attacked or put down for the third or fourth time in a row. I do sometimes wish there was stronger moderation on AIBU and some of the more bitter and aggressive posters could be banned. It might leave more space for the more amusing and interesting ones.

Billy

Honestly toilet brushes are real you can believe in them

billy / wait I thought people on MN didn't use toilet brushes.

although I enjoyed being harangued for not believing in a toilet brush recently

What did it say that you didn't believe?

maisy

Bill I assure you toilet brushes are real. I can send you a photo of mine.

Cat poo anyone? So it begins

What really pissed me off one day was seeing some randomer telling Atilla she was not qualified and should basically shut up. I have no idea if Atilla is qualified but she spends a lot of time writing incredibly helpful posts which seem to make a great deal of sense. I think she's posting a lot less or had a username change.

I think if you post in AIBU, then you need to be ready to receive lots of abuse, although it varies massively. It seems to have spread to other parts of the forum too, which is a shame. I'm sure it'll put off people who are genuinely seeking help.

SEE! Bloody bog brushes, drives the most sensible conversation down the pan!

^

well done Bill

Yes I agree, lots of rude comments and some just unnecessarily nasty. I try not to let it get to me though if I get horrible comments because the person who's saying it can't be that happy in themselves and is probably bored. But on the flip side, I suppose we're asking for it on an anonymous forum where there's no consequences and people can be honest behind a screen. However there's a difference between giving your opinion and purposefully saying something to make someone feel shit.

nakedscientist oh you're right - there are some terribly rude intelligent people. But just as a very general rule, I've found, unpleasant people tend also to be stupid. At school the worst bullies tended (not always, but tended) to be the less bright children. You nearly always find in the workplace that the workplace bullies are the least capable employees. And as it is in life, so it is on Mumsnet.

margaret I don't agree that there was any irony in my previous statement - but I could have phrased it better. I meant that people who bully or pick on other people tend not to be very bright.