AIBU to think that there are a lot of people on here who are really quite rude?

[Goonergirl78]

I'm just a watcher from the sidelines really, but I have to say there are times when I read a post and some of the harsh and quite frankly hurtful things people say really do shock me. Am I being too sensitive???

It always makes me hmm when someone looks for relationship advice and a hoarde of LTB-ers then proceed to get angry at the op for not agreeing immediately to leave their 10 year marriage.

I must agree, LTB is trotted out far too much on MN.
"He never puts his socks in the wash."
"How much housework does he do in general, OP? Sounds like he's taking advantage. LTB."
Not to mention the double standards on here are absolutely disgusting sometimes. Depending on whether the OP identifies as male or female, they can post identical questions and get vastly differing viewpoints.

Well I just got called a cheeky fucker for saying someone could bring their baby to my gen weekend of necessary so I'm inclined to agree

Hen

Just seen that momma. That thread is prime example of what I am talking about in my previous posts.

That other thread is stupid. No one would take a baby to a hen do. Ever
If you post that kind of stupid question then you've got to expect a flaming ffs

Well I just got called a cheeky fucker for saying someone could bring their baby to my gen weekend of necessary so I'm inclined to agree

I'm on that thread too and anyone who changes the dynamic of a hen night by insisting babies and random family members can randomly rock up kind of defines cheeky as it ruins it for most of the attendees who were probably looking forward to the night out.
Sometimes it's not rudeness, it's just pointing out stuff which - why ask AIBU if can't handle differing viewpoints.

Sometimes I feel like 'yeah.. this isn't the place for me' when I see posts that are unnecessarily blunt or when they gang up on the OP. If you say anything remotely sappy you're in for a sneery retort.

There's helpfulness & kindness to balance it out though :-)

I also think the "googling" other threads thing is unnecessary. Just discuss the issue

Hudson saying i'd allow it at my own hen do or tolerate it at someone elses doesnt make me a cheeky fucker. There's a leap of assumption that I would take mine which is based on absolutely nothing and which is incorrect

Hudson. I agree on all fronts!

I've been thinking the same thing. As a previous poster said, I think people forget there are actual human beings behind this. I would feel awful if I had upset someone on here.

It's the same few posters that post nasty comments on here over and over again, If I click on a thread and they have commented I don't bother because it just pisses me off!

I do wonder what some posters are like in RL compared to their posts. For better or worse I think I'm pretty much the same just more open on here. I'm fairly identifiable bit I wouldn't say anythinanythinganyone I wouldn't say in real life so it doesnt bother me too much

It's completely hypocritical to discuss the awfulness of mumsnet and then spend the last page discussing whether you like another poster or not.

Why is it hypocritical
Please explain

It's completely hypocritical to discuss the awfulness of mumsnet and then spend the last page discussing whether you like another poster or not.
I was just replying to one of the posts and highlighting that yes, there are disgusting double standards on here sometimes and it adds to the nastiness.
Post if you're a woman and expect sympathy, but if you're a man you deserve all you get.

I think it's quite easy to predict how a thread will turn out and yes OP, if you go against the status quo, it can get quite nasty. The could be either the person who started the thread or subsequent posters. It all reminds me of playground bullying. As with the playground though, remember that there's something deficient in the poster's lives when they jump to the nastiness.

Yes, inkzooka "you're a terrible mother and should give up your child" or "your husband is an abuser" because he's a bit shit and doesn't do the washing up seem to be unusually frequent. Again, I suspect tainted by the poster's own situation. About 1% of LTBs seem necessary.

peachlimeorange
I think we might have been pointing out double standards of some people on this thread (myself) in a lighthearted way
I don't think I was being hypocritical

Some people are deliberately goading in the op, which I find equally annoying.

I wouldn't post anything that wasn't lighthearted on here.
I've posted on relationships when I've really needed help (thank fuck I'm not a man or I'd had got fully told I'm a cunt)

*sorry I meant on mumsnet in general, not this thread in particular

It's the pack mentality I don't like. One person is nasty and a whole group of others take that as their cue to pile on the criticism.

Anyway I'm sure this thread will get everyone going tonorrow!

YANBu but I think it's fairly reflective of life in general, there are a lot of rude arseholes out there.

I don't think LTB gets bandied about "too often", in fact judging by the descriptions of how women get treated in Relationships Board, I'd say most are more than worthy of an LTB. The thought of standing by watching a woman waste their best years on some ghastly low-life is depressing.

I don't post, I just shout at the keyboard instead for fear of offence