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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex au pair opened bank account to my address

162 replies

NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:00

Her bank cards arrived today along with an email from the ex au pair asking to pick them up.

Am I being unreasonable to not give her the cards as I'm not comfortable with her using my address for her bank account?

She didn't ask to use my address and I assume she managed to open the account on the basis of the old letter saying she was an au pair here (which was intended for her NI application when she first arrived, which it turned out she didn't need).

She now lives in some other accommodation in UK with her parents, who have moved here. She is working in a coffee shop. I am not sure how formally organised her accommodation is, so I don't know how easy it will be for her to change her address to her new accommodation... but... I really don't want her to use our address.

She left on terrible terms. I was away with my brother in hospital (broken femur!) and she she secretly moved her parents into her room, saying they would only stay until they found jobs and accommodation.... she created so much drama and I want rid.

So, am I being unreasonable to just tell her to shove off? It really does pain me to do so, as I am (too) kind, so I would love some advice peeps.

OP posts:
Anecdoche · 01/08/2017 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:03

Thank you , that is what I am considering, I guess that is what I should do.

I think though that she won't have any proof of address at all from her new, casual? accommodation, but that isn't really my problem I guess!

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 01/08/2017 21:04

Tell her it's fraud. Send the cards back.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:04

Sorry I had forgotten how to make words bold

OP posts:
Littlefish · 01/08/2017 21:04

I agree, I would return them to the Bank. She doesn't live at the address she's provided in order to open the account.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:05

Sigh, it is fraud, thanks Drink, I guess I should just toughen up and tell her I am sending them to the bank or binning them.

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 01/08/2017 21:05

If you don't trust her, you can't be sure she wouldn't run until credit using your address. Return them to the bank.

Glumglowworm · 01/08/2017 21:06

Return to sender not known at this address

It's not your problem whether she can prove her new address and it doesn't sound like she's someone you want to keep on good terms with (don't blame you there!) so no need to do her a favour

Talkingfrog · 01/08/2017 21:07

If i qas in your shoes i would not feel comfortable with my adress being used either. There could be implications for you if she ends up not managing her finances properly.
I am not sure from the post if you know her current address to pass things on anyway. I would be tempted to speak to the bank and let them know she no longer lives at your address and ask if they have any advice on what to do.

MyLittlePickleBoo · 01/08/2017 21:09

Without doubt you need to send the cards back to the bank and notify them that there is no one at by that name at your address. I know of two people this has happened to now (grandparents years ago and neighbour just last year) and both times they have had bailiffs turn up at the house demanding money or goods from them. It's fraud and she could get you into a lot of bother. Don't even entertain it.

pastafairy · 01/08/2017 21:10

Take the cards into a branch or post them back, and make sure you give the date that she ceased living with you. Her accommodation issues are not your problem!

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:10

Thanks all, I think the answer is clearly No, she can't pick up her cards, and now I decide whether to send cards back to the bank or call them.

I am now unhappy that she has this letter, ooops!

OP posts:
ILoveGrammar0 · 01/08/2017 21:11

You don't usually need proof of address if you're just changing it.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 01/08/2017 21:11

It is spectacularly cheeky as you parted on bad terms! Didnt she understand there was an issue at the end of her stay or is she being cheeky?'

Aquathest · 01/08/2017 21:11

MyLittlePickleBoo read my mind. I was going to post the exact same thing in regards to the bailiffs turning up.

And you already know she is untrustworthy- she moved her parents into your home... without asking! Confused

MyLittlePickleBoo · 01/08/2017 21:13

OP, don't just bin them. You really need to make sure the bank know that your address isn't to be linked to her in any way.
Honestly I wouldn't just be nervous about someone doing this, I'd be seething. Nip it in the bud now while you can!

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:14

Yes she is very cheeky, I don't trust her at all! The parents moving in situation was all very manipulative. Your fraud and baliff comments are putting the fear into me, I am going to write a pretty stern reply to her right now!

OP posts:
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:19

ps this is my definition of pretty stern Blush

OP posts:
CookieLady · 01/08/2017 21:21

Op, you've posted your real name in the draft text.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 01/08/2017 21:22

But are you sending the cards back or destriying them? If you send them back, the will suspend her account and she won't be able to just change the address? Which is of no concern to you but I wouldnt put that in the message.

Blatherskite · 01/08/2017 21:22

She doesn't sound very trustworthy. I would definitely be contacting the bank to inform them that she is using your address fraudulently and asking for advice.

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 21:24

She will be linked to your credit record if she used my address, one of my neighbours typoed their address slightly and popped up as a financially connected person to me on my credit file! was a bit of faff to get them takn off

Send the bank stuff return to sender, addressee not at this address.

Do not open it. Do not correspond with the banks - that actually connects you with her more not less. Just return to sender addressee not at this address on the envelope

MrTrebus · 01/08/2017 21:24

Thats good OP. As a bank worker please take them into a branch don't just post them back,get them to report as fraud whilst you're there, also make a complaint (even if you do not particularly want to complain it means there will be a proper investigation and resolution of your issue which is not guarenteed otherwise) in general a letter from you should not suffice as proof of address to open a bank account so it needs looking into.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:25

And thanks for the advice MyLittlePickleBoo, I'm sorry your grandparents and neighbours had baliffs because of this. Frightening!

We essentially helped her parents get in touch with people from their country (they don't speak English or have bank accounts in any country) to get the set up in UK (and moved out of our home).... whilst going back and forth to hospital. It was horrendous, and I have a 1yo and 3yo to deal with in the middle of all of this as well.

(ps not anti european, am also a european, but from elsewhere Smile

OP posts:
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