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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex au pair opened bank account to my address

162 replies

NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:00

Her bank cards arrived today along with an email from the ex au pair asking to pick them up.

Am I being unreasonable to not give her the cards as I'm not comfortable with her using my address for her bank account?

She didn't ask to use my address and I assume she managed to open the account on the basis of the old letter saying she was an au pair here (which was intended for her NI application when she first arrived, which it turned out she didn't need).

She now lives in some other accommodation in UK with her parents, who have moved here. She is working in a coffee shop. I am not sure how formally organised her accommodation is, so I don't know how easy it will be for her to change her address to her new accommodation... but... I really don't want her to use our address.

She left on terrible terms. I was away with my brother in hospital (broken femur!) and she she secretly moved her parents into her room, saying they would only stay until they found jobs and accommodation.... she created so much drama and I want rid.

So, am I being unreasonable to just tell her to shove off? It really does pain me to do so, as I am (too) kind, so I would love some advice peeps.

OP posts:
Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:47

That doesn't really matter and I will stop with all the identifying information!

Thank you for all your advice, I am feeling more nervous now, but that is probably a good thing.

OP posts:
Sagethyme · 01/08/2017 21:48

do I open her letters? no I believe it is an illegal offence to open another persons mail (although she's used your address!) on each envelope there should be wording similar to this 'if undelivered return to sender...[address inserted]. You simply put alone through the address and put not known at this address and post it back through the post box, no stamp is needed, and the PO will return the letter.

gillybeanz · 01/08/2017 21:48

Are you able to get one of the forms that states who lives at your address, like the ones they use for voting.
Obviously, you'd fill it in without her name, so could be more proof she doesn't live with you.

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 21:48

Whatever the au pair does with the cards, she won't be financially connected to the OP, won't affect the OP's credit rating and the OP will never be liable for any debts run up by the au pair, all assuming that they don't have any joint accounts of course

none of that is true in practice

as I posted previously my neighbour showed up as financially associated to me due to a typing error on his address with one bank/company. he was on my credit record as an associated person, it was sortable, but him appearing to have my address did financially associate us!

And
I know people who have been personally persued by baliffs for very tenusous links with people who didn't have any assets to seize to pay their debts.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:49

Thank you Sage, I don't open other people's post, not even DH, so don''t know why I suggested that.

OP posts:
Sagethyme · 01/08/2017 21:49

A line not alone!

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:50

Uggh, TinselTwins that doesn't sound good.

OP posts:
sobeyondthehills · 01/08/2017 21:51

OP, one of the things I would watch out for is payday loans. I am not sure of what they use to check, but considering it only takes 5 minutes at 1am, probably not much. Most of it is done via email, so you might not know, till the baliffs come knocking. They are simple to deal with, council tax letter and photo ID is all they will need to prove she doesn't live there.

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 21:51

I would return everything to the bank. I wouldn't worry about your credit rating though. I have lived in many places where a previous tenant had CCJ etc against them and it didn't affect my rating.

It won't do, unlike this situation where the au pair is using the address currently for new applications while the OP lives there

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 21:51

I would return everything to the bank. I wouldn't worry about your credit rating though. I have lived in many places where a previous tenant had CCJ etc against them and it didn't affect my rating.

It won't do, unlike this situation where the au pair is using the address currently for new applications while the OP lives there

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 01/08/2017 21:51

If I were you I would make the effort to get to a branch so I could explain things face to face. But if you can't, then send the cards back with a covering letter. And do it registered post, so you know it definitely gets to them.

Bumbumtaloo · 01/08/2017 21:51

She may have forged your signature. I used to work for a high street bank and it is more common than people think.

I would double check my credit report for peace of mind.

KarmaNoMore · 01/08/2017 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumbumtaloo · 01/08/2017 21:55

TinselTwins The OP has not created a financial association, her credit report won't be impacted as explained in the below link.

help.creditexpert.co.uk/help/sv635/Credit_report/financial_associations

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:56

Thank you all, I will go to the branch and discuss the issue with them. She really is a taker person and I do not want anymore complications from her down the line!

OP posts:
fuckwitery · 01/08/2017 21:58

Bit of advice on your next au pair - when they ask you for a letter confirming they live at your address, which they do need for doctors etc, set a clear time period in the letter so they can't use it forever. I've been burned too.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:00

Thanks fuckwitery I'm an au pair novice and quite naive it turns out.....

I am having an au pair free year, maybe years. Feeling worn down by all the drama she added to our lives.

OP posts:
Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:01

The letter is dated January, as is the NI letter, so actually not impressed with the bank.

OP posts:
HeyRoly · 01/08/2017 22:02

Glad you're going to speak to the bank. It's not enough to return the envelope as "not known at this address". You need to get the bank to rectify things properly.

Starlight2345 · 01/08/2017 22:05

It is not illegal to open post , it is to use it for mallicous reaons this comes up every time.

I had a bank keep sending info to previous tenant at this address, the bank wanted all info off the letter..They didn't deal with it till I went into branch ( it was not santander)

underneaththeash · 01/08/2017 22:08

OMG - we've had 5 lovely au pairs over the years and nothing like this. You just need to tell her its illegal to open a bank account from an address that you don't live at and certainly send the cards back too.

Bloody cheek.

Ellie56 · 01/08/2017 22:08

I don't understand how she's managed to open an account at your address anyway. You normally have to produce a utility bill or similar to show proof of address and usually dated within the last 3 months.Confused

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:14

Ellie I know I now feel mainly cross with the bank. I have prodused stacks of proofs of address in my time, one time 2-3 each from me and DH, we had to carefully work out who was going to be on which bill, it was tedious. And she has an old print out only!

OP posts:
Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:16

Grrrr maybe her new job payslips are registered here but she hasn't had one sent here yet. Grrr Grrrr.

OP posts:
Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:17

Thats not proof of address I know.

OP posts:
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